DD did something very dangerous

Hi Friends,

I debated on whether to post this or not because I was afraid of looking like a negligent mom but I need your help and I thought it was important to post this as a possible warning to other parents.

My babysitter greeted me at the door last week looking VERY serious. She told me that at nap time the girls went down as usual with no problems. About a half hour into their naps, she said she got the feeling that she needed to check on them. When she went in, she said one of my dd's had the blankets over her head. When she pulled back the blanket, she saw that she had wrapped the belt from one of DH's terry cloth robes around her neck! My babysitter said it wasn't choking her YET but that it was extremely tight and left a red mark when it was removed! She asked her why she had done this and dd said "I was playing puppy". She was pretending to be on a leash.

I have a great sitter and I know she would not have let dd go to bed with that belt. It must have been in her room before nap time. I am not sure how it got there- dropped out of the laundry? Or dropped somewhere else in the house and she picked it up? Anyway, it really shook all of us up and I went around the house taking down curtain backs and making sure DH locks his ties and belts in the closet. DH and I had two very serious talks with both dd's letting them know how dangerous this was and how upset we were and attempted to discuss what could happen if we hadn't gotten to her in time- going to the hospital, possibly dying. I even started crying while talking to them because it upset me so much.

I shudder everytime I think about how lucky we are that something horrible did not happen. Now, before bedtime I look under beds and blankets and pillows to make sure there aren't any stray things that they could harm themselves with while alone in their bedrooms at night or naptime. (Normally they have only books and a few plastic animals in their bedroom) and normally bedtime is the only time they are out of my sight.

What I need help with, is that I am not sure if we got the point across to them how dangerous putting things around your neck can be. At almost 4 years old, do your children know the concept of death as it could possibly pertain to them? How would you punish something like this? Or is talking enough?

BTW- we don't have any dogs or leashes in the house. They really love dogs and see them in the neighborhood and often play "dogs" but I have never allowed them to use anything resembling a leash or allow them to put anything around their necks.



Thanks in advance for your advice.

Lisa

 

:icon_eek: :hug99: Okay, first of all, there's no way in he!! this situation has anything to do with your parenting!! The fact that you are so upset at the thought of what could have happened shows just how much you love your kiddos. I really don't think there's anything more you can do to get the point across. Now hug your girls and try not to let this overshadow all the good things in life!

 

So glad she's okay.

I agree with pp that this has NOTHING to do with your parenting skills; you've done what you can to make the environment more safe and talked to them about why it is so dangerous.

Personally, I don't feel like it needs a punishment. The first time kids do something playful not understanding why what they did was wrong/dangerous/not okay, I feel that getting your point across is more important than a consequence (unless it obviously deserves one). If she continues to do it, turn it into a game, etc, then I would consider consequences.

 

Lisa,

I am so glad she is okay. :hug99: I can imagine how scared you were. As the pp's have said, I am not sure there is really much else you can do to stress the importance. You have talked with them and taken more precautions by removing objects that might potentially dangerous.

Please do not be so hard on yourself and think you are a negligent mom- because you are NOT! :hug99:

 

My 4yr old doesn't yet understand the whole death thing yet. My mom just passed away and I took that as an opportunity to talk to him and teach him about it. He still doesn't quite get it (although he did out of the blue tell me that God gave my mom and nice big cloud to sleep on). But he has done things to the babies and I try to teach death and how whoever he was hurting (usually Mitchell) would never see mommy/daddy again. I don't know when he will get it. Just today I saw a rope type burn around his neck...I asked him what happened. He said "I am okay now Mommy". I kept asking and he kept giving me the same reply. He finally said Josie did it (my oldest..7yrs old). He said she tied the jump rope around him :icon_eek: I wanted to scream!! So I talked to him about never letting anyone do that. He said he was being her dog...just like yours. We talked about not being able to breathe...I had him take breaths to feel what it was like and all. I don't know if that helped or not???? Now my 7 yr old isn't home from gymnastics but at that age she will get disciplined bc she knows better.
Dont' know if that helped but wanted to tell you...it is by NO mean you. Kids are curious and "monkey see, monkey do". You are being a wonderful parent by being so proactive about finding the right way to deal with it. Thank goodness your babysitter was so competent!!

 

Oh Lisa!! :hug99: That must have been terrifying!! I'm really surprised mine don't do that! Do they have little back packs with the little leash things? Maybe tell them they can use those to play puppy - that would be taken off at naptime etc. and the babysitter/you would have "control" of the situation!

I'm glad she was fine!! :hug99:

 

This has nothing to do with your parenting!!!! These things happen unfortunatly, and one of my sons once put a sock in his mouth and almost swallowed it!!! I had a laundry basket full of them!!!

Sometimes kids do things, to do them...Im glad you had a vigilant babysitter who stays on top of them!!!

Im glad shes ok!

 

QUOTE
Okay, first of all, there's no way in he!! this situation has anything to do with your parenting!!

I completly agree. My daughters pretend too be dogs too, and I have caught them trying to put a leash around the other ones neck. Its very scary, You poor mommy. :hug99: I am glad she is ok.

 

You poor thing, who terrifying! PLease don't beat youself up, it could happen to anyone of us. I think talking to them is all you can do.

Kudos to your babysitter! Some little gaurdian angel must have been niggling at her!