Daycare

I need honest opinions!! Our 2 year old daughter goes to an in home daycare provider that we absolutely love and don't want to leave. The problem is she can only take ONE of the twins right away. My tentative c-section date is Nov 15, then planning on taking 12 weeks off of work. So that puts us aprox end of Jan first of Feb to start daycare for the twins. Our daughters provider CAN take BOTH twins starting June 1st. I am having a HORRIBLE time finding anyone suitable (nanny, or in home) who can take both twins for that short of time...and the daycare centers are just way to expensive that we just really can't afford to pay that much even just for a few months. Both my husband and I are supervisors so staying home longer for me or at all for my husband is not an option either. SO, my question is...Our current provider has a very good friend that is willing to take ONE of the twins and the other can go with our daughter. It would only be from like I said before end of Jan-June 1st. Should we consider this as an option? I realize the importance of a schedule and I think between the two providers they would make every effort to keep them the same. Your thoughts??? PLEASE HELP!!

 

hmmm.. I say you have to do what eveyr will work for you and hubby since there is no way eithe rof you can take off extra time.. I say just make sure you are really up front about the scheduling so tha when they are back home or at the center together they dont have to readjust. I hope that helps

 

Is it possible for your daughter to go to the other lady so the twins can stay together??

 

I agree, I think I would try and keep them together. I would see if they can all go to the other lady for the time being... June 1st is a long time to be separated from each other everyday so young.

 

Yikes. That's a tough one. My girls went to daycare for a very brief period around 3 months (3 weeks is what they spent at daycare) and then didn't go back again until 7 months. Different daycares. They tried to convince me to split my girls up into different rooms. I pretty much threw a fit until they caved and let me have both girls in the same room, with their cribs right next to each other.

I personally would not split the kids up, just becuase in my case sometimes the only thing that will comfort the girls (doesn't matter which one) is being next to her sister and being able to play with her..... Once they get to school they can decide for themselves if they want to be split, but not until then.


I feel for you - that kind of decision would wrench my heart. I wish you luck in your decision, whatever it is it will be the best for your family. *hugs*

 

I would never spilt my girls up. They have enough trouble going to daycare by themselves when one is sick. I can't imagine it everyday. I'd either find a new center for all or a center where the twins could be together and your older girl remain with the lady

 

I personally would not separate them. That would be too hard for me and the kids I would think. I would try to find a way to keep them together.

 

I understand it is hard but i would try to keep them together. there are alot of studies that say that twins should stay together until they ask to be separated. i would also ask that lady if she could keep them both. 2 year olds are a handful but alot easier than if they were babies. good luck

 

I think you're in a pinch, and if it's just a few months, so be it. They won't remember it anyway. Sounds like more of a pain in the @$$ for you than anything.

 

I would not seperate the twins.

 

Personally, i would never do it. But it sounds like you are in a real bind! There is no way she can squeeze in both twins?? Good Luck!

 

Honest opinion...I would not separate the twins. However, every circumstance requires a reevaluation and if you have no choice then that's what you have to do. Like pps have said, there is a closeness to twins.

Can the other lady take your daughter and the one you use now take both of the twins?

Wishing you the best in your decision!

 

I also can't imagine separating the twins. But I do think Overachiever is probably-definitely right, they won't remember it. Sometimes we have to make hard decisions, but if it's for the ultimate good and you'll have them all together in June...oh, but how will you choose which one?

It's a pickly situation.

 

I haven't read any of the other responses, but I would do it. When they are very little, it really doesn't matter that much to them whether they're together or not. And having them in a daycare that you love and trust is much more important in the long run.

OK -- I'm reading the other responses now, and I see I'm in the minority on that -- but I really do believe it. A friend of mine who also had twins said that she felt like for the first 6 months, each of the babies thought she was a singleton. I definitely felt that way with mine too. They slept in separate bouncy seats, we fed them separately, and they were too little to really be aware of their environment. They did go to daycare together, but there were 6 other babies in the room. When they were old enough to roll & crawl around, the DCP did say they seemed to recognize each other, but not before that.

Now, logistically it might be hard to have them in separate daycares -- but probably not that much harder than it would be to have your older DD in one and the twins in another. And I would not consider moving your daughter, who is old enough to be upset by it.

HTH -- good luck with your decision.

 

This is so hard for you but it will be harder I think if you seperate them b/c they will be on completely different schedules. On the weekends when you are home you are going to be so tired b/c each one will be eating at different times. I can't imagine seperating mine. They have to learn to bond with each other I think but this is a tough situation. Do what is best for you and and your babies. In the end, it might be easier switching your older dd's provider so your babies can have the same schedule, time and attention. It's easier to say what to do than to actually do it. Good luck. You are their mom and you know what is best.

Two reasons I wouldn't:
Different schedules make life so much harder
Twin Bonding (My twins were inseperatable. They calmed each other by laying next to each other and getting used to each other's cries.)

 

I would do anything you can to keep the twins together. Someone else may have mentioned this, but I would even move your daughter to a new place if that would allow the twins to stay together. Mine couldn't sleep without each other for the first several months. There is something going on between twins that we simply cannot understand, and I wouldn't want to risk taking that connection away from them.

I think whether they remember it or not might not be the real issue; it's whether they'll stay on schedule and be able to sleep and eat well without each other. Mine wouldn't have. And whether they remember it or not, it's obviously better if they can sleep and eat.

Actually I think it would be easier on the caretaker to have two twins to take care of than to have one twin to take care of, separated from his/her twin. Mine are easier together than they are if they are grouchy because they're separated! Maybe try that one on her and see if she'll take them both!

Good luck, whatever you decide.