Daycare woes

We live in a rural area and daycare options are very limited. I really wanted to have my girls in an in-home daycare, but the state says they can only have two infants and I couldn't find anyone who had openings for two infants. So I had to settle for a small center (can take 4 infants). I had an appointment to go see it, but ended up on bed rest so I never got to go. Friends who have used it assured me it would be fine and we didn't really have any other options, so we sent in the applications to reserve our spots since there is a waiting list after us. The girls won't go to daycare until late August, but I was driving by today and decided to drop in to see it. It broke my heart. I don't know if I can leave my girls there. The infant area is two tiny rooms. One felt like a walk in closet with 4 cribs in it. It was very dark in there and there was one little girl in a crib crying her eyes out. It was the end of the day so the other kids had all been picked up. I left feeling just awful that I will have to leave my kids there. We had always planned to only put them there for next school year and then an in home daycare provider would take them the following year. The in-home DCP is someone I know well said she could take them at 18 months. That's the summer, so we were just going to start with her in the fall when they were 20 months old. Well after visiting the center I immediately drove to her house to ask if she can take them any earlier. She said she would take them in March (they'll be 16 months). That means they would only have to be in the center Sept-Feb. I'm just going to hate those 6 months though. DH is going back to the center with me tomorrow to look at it. I'm really hopeful that I'm just over reacting and it's not as bad as I think. I'm so sad about this. I wish I didn't have to go back to work, but that's not really an option.

Thanks for reading my vent.

 

The reality is- if you are not comfortable with the center- you will go absolutly crazy worrying about them all day long while you are at work. I remember checking out a great daycare center- and they allowed 4 infants per staff member, and 8 to a room. I got a spot for my son- and went to visit- and watched as they forgot where they put someones bottle down, or who's bottle was who's- then when the phone rang- she put the baby down to answer the phone- my son would have never went for that. He was going to an in home "babysitter" ie she was not licensed. I would have had to pay $45 more a week, for my son to get less attention, and it didn't make sense to me. So we stayed with the in home.
With the girls- we had to call anyone and everyone to take the girls and my son- and finally found an in home babysitter we were happy with (not enough spots in the daycare centers), and it turned out to be a nightmare- When my hubby went to pic them up she appeared stoned out of her mind and dressed rather "unprofessionally". No surprise- they never went back. It breaks my heart to think of how they may have been treated.
I would continue to consider your options. Do you have family, or friends that could maybe help you out for that short period- maybe they would be more likely if was a temporary thing...
If nothing else- I hope your Hubby goes back there, and finds that you were making too much of it.

 

I feel ya!!
When I thought I was going back to work when my girls turned 3 months (I didnt end up going though) I went to look at a daycare center by my house that had 2 openings for infants.
I went into it super excited due to the location & the availability ~ I walked in & the daycare owner gave me the creeps - 1st bad sign. She directed me to the infant room & when I walked in there I wanted to cry. It was one dimly lit room with 5 cribs around the walls & 5 swings up against a wall. There were 2 little ones crawling on the floor & one asleep in a dirty swing. It broke my heart. Super depressing in there! The kids seemed lonely to me (i am sure they werent...but whatever!)
I left there & said that there was NO way I could imagine leaving my 2 shiny brand new baby girls there....
It was the first one I looked at, and I ended up seeing much better ones after that one, thank goodness (we have a lot of options where I live, but not that will take 2 infants at the same time).
The in-home ones that I visited were wonderful & if/when I do go back to work I am hoping to just wait it out until I can get an in-home spot for the girls.

I guess in the end you have to do what you have to do to in order to go back to work, I know it will be hard, but I am sure that everything will work out for you guys The time will fly by & your little ones will be in the in-home daycare before you know it.

Good luck!!!

 

i feel your pain, we looked at daycare places before the babies were born, and then after they were born, it's amazing how 'wrong' they seemed.

We were fortunate to get Jake and Becca into an in-home daycare situation which was above average for such a facility (in-home, but she had a converted garage and lovely backyard)....however 3 months in, Jake got sick and we had to pull them out.

I know this isn't the point of your post - but given how early your girls were, I think you should look into an nanny situation, I would even talk to your doctor. After Jake ended up in the hospital, we were forced to find a nanny and it was very stressful. I don't know your personal situation - but just some friendly food for thought.

 

I feel bad that your options are so limited that you would have to put your babies somewhere that you are not comfortable. I worked in the infant room of a daycare for a year, and even though the daycare was very nice, I still thought about how hard it woud be to leave my baby there if I had to. It was hard taking care of all those babies....I think it was preparing me for twins one day!

I honestly would look into a nanny, or maybe a babysitter (or two depending if you can't find one who can do all week) who could come to your house to watch the babies while you are at work (I don't know what the price difference is from daycare....but I remember daycare was expensive). Maybe you could give up certain things for 6 months (like cable or eating out) so that you could afford to keep them out of daycare.

Hopefully your DH will think the center isn't that bad. If it is and your options are that limited just know that you are doing the best you can given your situation, and the 6 months will go by fast. I hope everything works out for you!

 

I was in a similar situation and actually put a deposit down on a daycare that I didn't like the feel of but felt I didn't have any other option. We had a spot in another very reputable place but they only had one spot open and we had to take it so we would have sibling priority and we could eventually get both babies in the good place. The more I thought about it and tried to picture one of my babies in the place I didn't like so much, the more I new it just didn't feel right and I couldn't do it. I forfeited the deposit and we got a babysitter, which turned out to be about the same price. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right for you- trust your instincts, and I bet something else will work out!

 

That is hard. I'm hoping that either you DH goes back and finds things better or you can work out some other situation. You have to be really comfortable with who takes care of your children, and where, for you to not worry about them. Or at least I did. Good luck finding some situation that you are happy with! :hug99:

 

:hug99: I had a really rough time with out daycare situation. We had to go with a center that I wasn't really pleased with because our first choice didn't have room for us. About 4 weeks in I freaked out and called all over trying to find a better situation. They made room for us at the center I wanted and we are so happy with it.

What I have learned from it is that in my area the daycares that are in churches are more our style and suit us best. I've talked to other moms that feel this way too. The centers seem so institutional. Is there any daycare in a church anywhere around you? Also, do you have a church yourself? You might ask there if there is someone that watches children or has experience and needs some work for a bit. I had so much trouble finding someone that would watch the twins. The ladies I interviewed were very intimidated and didn't instill confidence.

Now that they're a bit older I think that the daycare situation is really the best thing for them. It throws off our schedule and such, but they really like the people, interaction and other kids. They learn from the other babies.

I hope you find something that works for you. Please let us know how it goes. :hug99:

 

We went the craigslist route. Interviewed several sitters and found one that we love. She comes to our house, we pay her $10 an hour for 20 hours a week. If you think that having someone in home would be the way to go, try advertising on craigslist or in the paper or at local colleges.

 

Can you look into a nanny instead? My girls are now in daycare 3 days a week (they started just shy of two), and I do love it. When I toured they showed me the infant room, and I had no issue with it and the ladies in there are very nice (grandma types). But I could have never left my preemies there when they were small. Nothing against daycare for infants, and like I said, ours is great, I just couldn't have done it.

I had a FT nanny until they started in daycare, now I have her PT. I work from home though. It actually cost me less for the nanny than FT daycare would have cost.

 

You should go with your instincts on this one. Good Luck!

 

I just wanted to say that if you feel like this isn't right, you're probably right. I went to several center while looking for care for my older DD. We live in a metro area and have lots of choices. Most of them would not have made me happy. We did find a good center - it was a chain/franchise that had very high standards which is very important in the infant room.

With the twins, we had a nanny for 17 months. I didn't want to do this but there was no room for 2 in DD's daycare infant room and I was not driving to 2 different daycares every morning. The nannies worked out OK. At least when one or the other was sick or teething, I knew they would get a lot of attention and I wouldn't get called to pick them up. The cost is huge but for us worth it. Craigs list worked well for us but you have to be very careful to check every reference etc.

Good luck with your search. There are great daycares out there.

 

My boys were born at 30 weeks and I just did not feel comfortable putting them in daycare because of the infection concerns. My older son has been in daycare since 12 weeks of age and has done great, but we got a nanny for the twins. It's working out wonderfully so far. Definitely much more expensive, but I know it's the best thing for them.

 

We're going to go back there today at 12:30. I'll post when we get home and let you know what DH thought. I was so shocked yesterday that I really didn't look as closely at things as I should have and now I don't know if it's really as bad as I thought or if I let my imagination run away with me. For instance, I don't remember seeing any other exit (door or window) from the little room with the cribs in it. Surely the state would not license them if the place was not safe. They are a part of a tech school that has an early childhood program, so they must be better than I am thinking. I need to pay more attention and not let my emotions get in the way. We'll see what we find out this afternoon.

No, we don't have any friends or family that can help. The only relatives that live in the area are 80+ years old. All of our friends work during the day. There was another in-home daycare that I would have liked, but she didn't want to take two infants since her husband is retiring soon. Maybe she would take them if I call her and ask for a short term placement of 6 months.


Part of the problem is that no one can take care of my girls as well as DH and I can.

 

QUOTE(Beth*J @ May 23 2008, 11:17 AM) [snapback]789617[/snapback]
Part of the problem is that no one can take care of my girls as well as DH and I can.


Tis true, but you may be surprised if you find a place or someone that is experienced how much they add to your children's development and social interaction. There are child care providers that really do love children and do a fantastic job.

I think one of the most important things to look for are the staff to child ratio, what they are willing/able to do to soothe a baby and what ages are combined in rooms. Feel free to pm me if you want to. I was in your exact position not long ago except they were still so little when we put them in at the height of cold and flu season.

 

We had our two in a nice but really expensive center and then we found a wonderful nanny on craigslist. And we are saving $40 per week over the cost of the center!

Might be worth checking into.

 

So how did it go?

 

Looking for an update - I hope it went well and that you find a good solution!

 

Well, we went and DH said it isn't as bad as I think. We didn't get to see the crib room because there were babies napping. DH did say it isn't an ideal situation, but it is short term and we will just have to make a point of randomly dropping in. I am going to check back with one of the in-home daycares I called last fall. She had said she didn't want to take any infants because her husband will be retiring, but maybe if she knew it was for less than half a year she would reconsider. She is friends with the woman who will take them in March, so maybe she can help convince her.

 

Thanks for the update. I hope you can find a solution. I'm sure it is very frustrating! :hug99:

 

Glad you updated.

I hope you all find a solution and situation that works the best.