Daycare provider said something that rubbed me the wrong way!

Well, we had the kids at daycare yesterday. I was only supposed to work in the morning but I ended up working until 3:30. She knows how my job is so she kind of expected that to happen.

Well, I picked the kids up at around 4:00. When I pick them up she tells me when they last ate - which I do the same when I drop them off in the morning. Each baby only took one bottle that day - both around noon (she also tries to give them cereal at that time as well via spoon). Usually they take two 3-6 ounce bottles (the bigger baby only takes around 3oz where our little thing takes around 6), but yesterday they only took one. I was fine with that - my babies usually prefer to nurse so they generally take what they need at daycare and then spent the entire night nursing! Well, when she said that she added, "I really don't think it will hurt them any to only get one bottle."

That is the line that rubbed me the wrong way! All four of my kids have been the chubby breastfed baby! My two older kids are of normal weight now, but they were big babies. My son was over 20# at six months of age - all breastmilk. I know it is just me being hyper sensitive - I have had weight problems my entire life, had an eating disorder for 8 years, and became a dietitian just to fuel my obsession. I have always worried about my kids taking after me - but I live by Ellyn Satter's feeding dynamics - thus my two older kids don't seem to have food or weight issues.

I am just so irritated about that comment. My babies are the only babies she has who nurse long term - all of her other ones are on formula by the time they come to her. Breastfed babies grow different. I logically know that. Heck, I teach my clients that, but I am just so offended by that comment!

As far as the one bottle thing - I know my kids aren't neglected there. My kids love going to see her. There have been days where they don't want to come home. Even the babies smile when they see her. Thus, I know they only got one bottle because that is really all they wanted. I know she usually has to convince them to take the second bottle - so I don't know if she felt bad about not getting them to take two bottles and that is why she said that - but I am just irritated that she would insinuate that my babies are fat. I know they are chubby for their age, but 14#3oz and 15#1oz for five month olds isn't unheard of. Heck, I am a dietitian and a plot babies all the time - I wish all the babies I saw were like that!

Finally, I hate that I am still not over my own weight issue enough to let this go for what it was - just an off the cuff comment and not meant to be offensive! UGH - I need to start working out!

Angel

 

:hug99: s, I am sorry she made you feel bad! My babies were about the same weight at that age, and they were on the small side compared to my other kids.

 

I wish my babies were that weight at that age. Just think it's better she said that then if your babies were small and she said you need to consider feeding them more. That would most likely make you feel worse. My friend's baby isn't on the charts anymore because he is so small. She feels awful anytime someone asks his age and then comments about his size. Hope the comment doesn't hurt your relationship with the care provider. It sounds like your kids are doing great there.

 

Technically... at there age they should have more than one bottle. In that time span. Do you pump and send it to daycare with them for the providers to store in the fridge for feedings? That is what they do at the daycare here.

 

I don't know what her tone of voice was, but when I read that comment it seemed more like she was concerned that they only drank one bottle (but seemed fine) rather than a comment on the weight of your babies. I'm sorry you have such bad feelings about your weight. :hug99: But like I said, I don't think she was trying to say anything bad about their weight, she was just concerned about their wellbeing.

 

:hug99: I'm sorry she make you feel that way. I've seen your babies and I think they look perfect. My girls were about the same size as your, at 6 months one was 15lb 11oz and the other was 17lbs, so they are gowing just fine. You're their parent and you know whats best, not a day care provider.

I'm right there with ya about weight loss, I just got a treadmill so hopefully I won't spend the summer fat.

 

I get comments like that all the time (my twins were a bit bigger than yours at that age and my singleton was 17 pounds at his 4 month appointment... all breastfed). Even my parents say things about my chubby babies. It usually doesn't bother me unless it has just been too many comments all in one day... then I find that I start to get overly sensitive about it. I'm guessing your daycare provider was just trying to justify that only having one bottle that day wouldn't be a big problem. Your babies are obviously growing and thriving and that's the most important part. But I know that sometimes comments just get under our skin... it's our job to defend and protect our little ones... so it's natural for you to be sensitive.

-Catherine

 

I can't help but to think she wasn't referring to their weight. Maybe she was just making you feel better that they only took one bottle and it was completely innocent. I'm thinking your own fears and issues make it seem that way, reasonably so. I really think she was justifying to herself and you that there was no harm done in only giving them a bottle....a chubby baby is a healthy baby and yours are beautiful! Plus as you know, they need that "chub" when they start to walk because they seem to thin out overnight.

I think you are doing great and commend you on breastfeeding for so long. I wasn't that dedicated and often regret that I was only able to for 2 weeks.

 

I am so sorry that the daycare person was insensitive. It isn't that common to hear of twin mommas that breastfeed and it is a hard thing to do. I breastfeed as well, and I know how hard it can be, but also how worthwile it is. Its great that you have chubby babies! At least they aren't struggling to gain even on formula or, like the baby of someone I know, allergic to every commercial formula and has a resaction to dairy, nuts and wheat in milk (when breastfed). The baby can only eat special formula that is $60 a can or milk from the bank that is $60 per bottle! Not that hearing this makes you feel any better, but stll, it could be worse.

I have struggled with weight issues too, and I know how little things that people say can stick with you for years... literally! You are doing the best you can for your children and I'm sure they are healthy and happy and enjoy all of the wonderful bonding with you. The only opinion I would be at all concerned about is the pediatrician, and even then I take that with a grain of salt (a pediatrician told me that I wouldn't ba able to breastfeed twins and that she could get me some extra formula to take home from the hospital). hmpf! Yeah right.... my girls are 4 months and are exclusively breastfed and completely healthy.

If it were me and someone said something like that around my kids, I would probably make it into a joke and say something sarcastic like "I'll work on whipping up some skim milk for them tomorrow".

It is true that children often view food in a similar fashion as their parents. If you treat food and eating in a healthy manner, so will they.