Daycare problem/dilemma

Hi all,

I don't know I am writing this just to share my feelings with all of you or looking for some insight.
So, my twin girls (3 yr old) have been going to this daycare for 6 months and the daycare starts at 7:30 AM in the morning which is usually when we drop the girls (between 7:30-8:00 am). The girls seen to be doing O.K so far for the last 6 months. The facility is strict in the drop-off and pick-up time. Today, we were two minutes early and the head teacher (she was the only one there) gave us such a cold treatment that I cannot shrug that feeling away. She didn't even look at me and did not attend the girls. I know it was my fault that I dropped the girls 2 minutes early but its not like I do that everyday. I am feeling so miserable that i feel like crying and cannot concentrate on anything else.

I am seriously debating of taking the girls out of that daycare but in my area it is hard to find a good daycare and also it will be so hard for the girls to transition to a new place. My worry is what if they are also mistreating the girls. There have been times when we reach and the girls are just standing there and no body attends them. I may be wrong but do you have any input on this. Did anybody ever have been in this situation where they feel things are not right. Or is it that I am over-reacting.

Thanks for reading my post.

 

I don't really understand what you mean by 'when we reach the girls are just standing there and nobody attends them'. I'm thinking teachers can't attend to every kid every minute of the day in a daycare. Do they seem happy? Do they sleep well and are learning new things?

I would consider talking to the director about the way you were treated for being early though. But maybe she was busy getting everything ready and didn't see you or something?

 

You are right teachers cannot attend every kid every minute. She did see me and I gave her the extra pair of clothes to her but she did not even reply to my hello. There was nobody else except for us.
The kids are learning and for most of the part they seems happy.
So that is what I was thinking that may be I am overreacting but I never felt this bad before today.

 

You can always go visit in the middle of the day and observe.

I would talk to the director about customer service skills if it happens again or if it would ease your mind. I do know at our school if I am there then I am in charge of the kids not them. But she should have at least acknowledged you and been polite. But then again she may have been busy or having a bad morning and just not ready yet. Everyone has a bad day.

I would not base anything off of one morning experience. Like I said talk to the director and/or do a drop in to observe (hopefully they can let you observe the class via video or window where the girls cannot see you). Most daycares have something in place for observation by parents knowing that parents are their paying customer and want to be reassured that their child is getting taking care of by the staff.

Edited for typo.

 

Even if she was angry at you for being 2 minutes early, she shouldn't take it out on your kids by not attending to them. I wouldn't be happy about that. Just drop by sometime during the day unannounced and check on them a couple times.

 

Thank you all. I guess I was very unhappy and knew this is the place where I can share my feelings. I'll see if I experience the same behavior again I will talk to the director.
Thanks

 

It depends really. When I drop off my kids at school they go and play on their own, they don't have anyone attending to them either.

 

Personally, I think you were oversensitive about this. Your kids are 3 yrs old. Teachers dont attend 3 yr olds every minutes. My kids will turn 3 early apr. They have been going to daycare as well. Their teachers dont attend them every min. And its normal. At this age, they should learn to play independently... Especially, your kids seem happy. So why would you consider taking them out of the daycare just because of your bad feeling today?

If I were you, I would never go straight to the director, I would just have a nice talk to the teacher. I would start with "I am sorry today I dropped them off 2 mins early,..." and go from there. I know she was impolite didnt say "hi", but if she is your kids main care giver, I would be always nice to her.

I dont think this is a huge issue. GL!

 

I think it definitely warrants further observation. I know when we drop off there is always a hello for the kids and a have a nice day for me. That's just standard. But I think you can tell a lot from the kids. Are they happy when you drop them off? If so, that's a great sign that things are good. I don't love all the teachers my kids have had, but I'm only concerned when the kids don't seem to like them.

 

Having worked in the service industry I would like to present the other side.

The head teacher arrives at the center before everyone else to prepare for the day. I am assuming there are usually two or more teachers but lets say (hypothetically) that this day the other teacher calls that she will be late. So the head teacher is left to do all the preparation without enough time to do it.
Preparation is important because without it the day does not flow and she spends the entire day trying to play catch up. (Having twins you can sympathize with trying to accomplish anything with 2 little ones, now add 10 more)
So your early arrival during her crunch time is not a little inconvenient , it has the potential to mess up her (and the class') ENTIRE day. the reason they have a strict drop off is because they need this time to prepare for your kids, so that they can do their best for them.
It may have been the first time you were early, but from experience (i worked the front desk at a vets office) I can tell you that someone shows up early 3 out of 5 days. Collectively as a group you are saying, 'my time is more important than yours'.

My advice would be to go tomorrow and apologize to her for arriving early. I would graciously tell her you didn't realize you were early and you will try to be more conscious of the time . If you did realize you were early, I would lie, otherwise you seem inconsiderate and rude.
I would make my judgement of her based on if she is gracious about the apology, rather than her reaction to your early arrival.

Yes, she should have handled it better. But I don't think you can make a decision about the entire school based her reaction to your early arrival.

 

I have been the opening staff at day cares for years and it is hard when kids come in early. Yes, it may only be 2 minutes but that is a "this time" thing. You probably wouldn't push it but there are people who will. I have always had the policy that they can come in but the parent has to stay on site until opening time (7 for us - staff start at 6:45) I'm not cold when they arrive - I know it is hard for them in the morning - but I have stuff to do before kids arrive and if I'm supervising a child while doing it, I'm not doing any of it the way it needs to be done. (chairs, blinds, dishwasher, laundry, breakfast prep, paperwork)

The other end of the day is a whole other thing. There is a policy in place for late pick ups, and I am flexible about late fees but there are parents who walk though the door at 5:59 and fiddle around for 10 minutes so I leave late every night they are the last person. And I'm too polite to stand at the door with my coat on. (I can have the kid in boots and bag all packed so they just have to put the coat on but.....)

Yes, I did the open and close shift in the same day for 12 years. (with a third shift in between 2 long breaks)

 

It was 2 minutes, not an hour! I hardly think the original poster thinks her time is more important by arriving 2 minutes early. I would have felt the exact same way and stewed over it all day. These are your kids! If someone doesn't receive them... and you... warmly, how are you supposed to just walk away for 8 hours?
No matter if the teacher was having a "bad day" or was operating short-staffed, she should not take it out - in any way - on her clients. We're talking 2 minutes!
As others have suggested, I would not make any permanent decisions hastily, but perhaps pop in for some observation. If you remain concerned, I'd absolutely take it up with the appropriate personnel.

 

I have to say I think that the fact that your instincts are setting off alarm bells is concerning. It sounds like you have a general concern that you can't quite put your finger on. I would definitely at least interview other daycares and put your kids on waiting lists. There are lots more options once they turn 3 or 4. I agree that it's reasonable to not want parents to drop their kids off early, but it sounds like you have a bad feeling in general and I think you should give your own instincts some credit.

 

If you have concerns, I would really give some thought to moving them. Gut instincts shouldn't go ignored.

However, if your only concern is based on your early arrival, I would let it go. Honestly, stores and restaurants and dr's offices have open and closed hours. You can't walk into a restaurant 2 minutes before they open because they keep the doors locked. Next time if you arrive early, I'd just sit in the car for those 2 minutes and then go in.