Daycare mom's

OK - I started my twins in daycare 2 days per week (Monday and Wednesday) last week...the first day was ok - they didn't cry too much...the second day - well they tried to follow us out the door sobbing, the third day (Monday of this week) Abby started crying when we parked the car, and today they started when we got off the highway exit!! (so you see where this is going)...anyway today they called me at work to come down and take a look at Abby's legs - they said she had some sort of rash - the daycare is 5 minutes from work so I run down on my lunch to take a look - turns out it wasn't a rash - she was just warm and worked up from being outside so she got blotchy (totally normal for her) - so of course when I get there she started sobbing again (as did her brother) and then she snuggled me and said "Why you go?" when I told her I had to leave...the teacher was telling me that she didn't eat hardly any breakfast but Ian had 2 helpings - now to preface this my kids are 2 of the pickiest eaters on the planet - pb and chicken nuggets are about all they eat other than breakfast stuff - the teacher tells me they had powdered donuts and peaches?!?!?!?!?! WTF are they doing serving 2 year olds powdered donuts for breakfast for??? I was flabbergasted - is this normal or amy I overreacting? Please don't get me wrong I'm not anti sugar - my kids eat waffles and french toast sticks (with a bit of syrup - I don't drown) they do get treats (mostly graham cracker type cookies) etc...another thing was the kids were watching a video - again I'm not anti -TV either my kids LOVE LOVE Sesame Street, Super Why etc (the educational fun shows on PBS and Sprout) but they were watching Scooby Doo? Couldn't that scare a small child - I didn't watch Scooby Doo until I was probably 4 or 5...

Also too, DD is NOT adjusting well - she's very clingy and whiny (and that could be the age too) but she's started pulling her hair out and seems generally unhappy...previous to this I was working part-time and the days I worked the kids went to my moms...I went back to full time and they split their time between daycare and my moms...

so how long REALLY does the adjustment take and am I nutso over the breakfast and video choices?

 

It took a couple of weeks (sorry) for my girls adjust. I hope yours adjust quicker! :hug99:

Not sure about the donuts... we didn't have them when mine were going.

ETA - sorry - forgot about the video. Yes, I think that might be a scary one. Ours had specific times of the day when they watched videos and the rest of the time the tvs were off.

 

I don't have any experience so I can't offer advice. I have had conversations with friends about how they have switched kids around in daycare and they went from being miserable to being happy.

I would be right with you on the sugar and TV issues for sure.

:hug99: :hug99: I hope this all gets worked out. Keep us posted.

 

I put my girls into daycare at 2, also. Prior to that, my mom stayed home with them 5 days a week. It was a big adjustment, and took time. There are still times when they cry when I drop them off (almost 2 years later), but they are very few & far between. We've had lots of positive experiences because of "school", and it isn't a decision that I regret, though the days weren't always sunny. I've had times when I wasnt happy with what was going on - and I always addressed them with the director. Like I said, though, I love the center - and have to realize things aren't always going to be perfect - but they wouldn't be at my home, either.

As far as the donuts - I would just ask for a menu of what foods they will be providing. My center provides one monthly. Most of the choices are healthy, but they do have junk sometimes, too - nothing in excess, though. If they are having something you don't want your kids to have, or something you know they won't eat - ask if you can pack a breakfast/lunch that day. I know my kids probably don't eat some of the lunches they have at school (salisbury steak, ewww), but I usually don't send anything - it makes them try something new. Besides, they have nap after lunch, and a snack as soon as they wake up, so I know they aren't going to starve.

Going to daycare is a big adjustment, and it's not for the faint at heart. If you are confident that your children are being cared for, then stick it out - it does get better.

I remember the days when they cried as soon as we got into the parking lot. I always called my husband afterwards, crying myself, because drop-off was my duty, so I was the bad guy. DH was the hero picking them up at the end of the day. Those days are gone, now, like I said - and pick up takes all of 5 seconds, and is no different than when I leave them at their grandma's.

 

Amy, no advice...just wanted to give you a :hug99: This doesn't sound like fun for you and I hope things get better soon.

 

Gosh Amy, I don't know. I would also be kind of freaked out by the powdered donut thing too. I mean, I will give it on occassion to my girls as a dessert or something but not for bfast. I mean, if you are going to go the donut route, at least make it old fashioned or something that doesn't have the extra sugar. And, regarding Scooby Doo??? **** NO. My girls watch a lot of tv but absolutely no shows like that. Only educational shows. What are these people thinking putting on Scooby for such young kids? Sorry but that is crap tv IMO for that age. I would have an issue with that. I would think as day care workers for this age that they would have a little more common sense than to give them donuts and play scooby for them. That would concern me. I know this sounds awful and people may think I am a psycho but I saw on the news about a mother who put a tape recording device in her dds backpack and it turns out that the teacher was yelling at them and calling them stupid and all sorts of stuff. It was heart breaking but you could certainly see why this child was depressed and didn't want to go to school anymore. I swear it sounds like such a good idea to me (the recording device). Anyway, I would definately have a talk with the staff or supervisor of the center voicing your concerns. I'm sure it's not going to "hurt" them per se (donuts and scooby) but if they are not on the same page as you perhaps you need to find a day care that is more suited towards what is age appropriate. JMO.

 

We've been doing daycare with DS1 since 12 weeks and overall have been very happy. For months and months, he'd cry when I dropped him off but the crying would only last a few minutes and then he'd have a blast playing with the other kids. I'd ask the daycare teachers what your kids are like after you've left and whether they participate in activities and look like they're having fun or just seem unhappy and fussy the whole time.

My daycare gives out a monthly menu of all snacks and meals. They have never done donuts. Usually breakfast is biscuits, waffles, fruit or cereal. Also, my daycare does not have TVs. They have free play time, circle time, arts and crafts, reading books, outdoor play, etc. The day is structured into multiple brief organized activities to keep the kids entertained and better behaved.

I think if you have concerns, go visit some other daycares and see if you get a better feel for things.

 

Amy, I don't really have advice because mine have never been in daycare, but I wanted to send hugs anyway. I know it has to be so hard for you to leave them every morning.

As for the donuts, for me, that is NOT breakfast food, but that's just my opinion. I would definitely ask about menu items. As for Scooby Doo, Owen was really scared by that one when he was around 3 years old & I had to ban it in our house. All kids are different though, so ardon: . Good luck & I hope it gets better soon!

 

I don't think you are over reacting Amy!! Donuts are NOT acceptable unless brought from home by the parents!!!

Any media should be age appropriate to the youngest common denominator! I would start looking for a new place personally!!!

 

Amy, :hug99:

 

We are a licensed daycare home and are on the food program, same one that the centers are on. With that being said, the food programs rules are that for breakfast the children must be fed a grain, a fruit, and milk......the rule on the grain is that the first ingredient be enriched flour or the like.........so in theory if we served bacon, eggs, OJ, milk and sausage......IT WOULD NOT COUNT as a reimbursable meal, since no grain was served!!!! But if we only serve toast, milk and applesauce, it would count!!!!

As far as the movie, I would ask about it.


As far as the kids crying, it is totally normal and since they only go 2 days a week....it will take longer for them to adjust than if they went everyday.


If you are taking them to a daycare that you do not feel that you can ask questions of, or cannot trust them....do not leave your children there.......maybe there was a lapse in judgement that day on the movie choice....but the breakfast seems totally normal to me.


If your kids are picky, the daycare cannot feed them only the foods that they like, and I would be surprised if they would let you bring in your own food too......the kids will learn to eat what is offered to them (it will take time) and they will not starve in the mean time.

 

My twins started daycare 3 days a week pretty much at the exact same age yours are. The adjustment took a while, your DD's reaction sounds exactly like how Grace was. Lily was an easier transition. But it only lasted maybe 3-4 weeks, and the sobbing was only when DH or I were in sight, the second I was out of sight she stopped. I'd walk out the door but leave it cracked to listen to her and it seriously ceased instantaneously. I remember how hard it is to leave them when they are carrying on like that, but I think it is normal in the transition and unless they do it all day, I think they'll get through it. I think the 2 days a week might be a bit harder on them, mine are there M/W/F with their nanny still on T/Th, and I think this works fabulous for us. Grace is now to the point that she is excited when she sees the school building and happily shouts "school, school" when we pull in. And I have to persuade her to leave each day!

As far as the food, yes donuts would concern me. I mean if it were just a special treat that day (like for someone's birthday), I'd be okay, I'm not that strict about what they eat, but if it were more often I'd be concerned. Do they not provide you with a meal schedule? We get a schedule of what they get to eat each day and it is very similar to what we'd offer at home.

The video would also concern me. That's one huge reason I wanted them in daycare, so they were not watching too much TV all day (which was an issue with our nanny). I expect them to not watch any TV/videos at all at daycare.

 

:hug99: Amy. You've gotten some good answers so far, but I wanted to add that Gabriel started in a group day care at 2 and it was a LONG adjustment period for him and me too(!). Seriously, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...leave a 2yo who's screaming "don't leave mama!" After a while the teachers told me to wait around the corner (they could see the tears in my eyes too) and sure enough within 2 min the crying stopped and I could hear him playing and laughing. So the tears and clinginess are not an indication of them not being cared for...totally par for the course...

As for the food and the movie watching...I would ask what exactly their policy is for both. I know that in Gabriel's old day care they would watch a movie if it was raining and after lunch as they were transitioning to naptime. They would occasionally give them foods I wasn't necessarily thrilled about. For me, the program, the teachers, the environment were all things that outweighed the occasional donut or cookie. Unfortunately, I found as I've personally toured EVERY single preschool and day care in a 30 mile radius it's extremely difficult to find one that meet every single requirement you have. My advice would be to reflect on it over the weekend and decide what are deal breakers for you and follow your Mommy-gut it's never wrong. I remember how difficult it was Amy, so lots of :hug99:

 

Hi Amy. First off, big hug! :hug99:

Like others said, our daycare gives us a weekly menu, and we can mark anything we DONT want them to eat. So maybe you can discuss with your director that you would like to see a menu, and will let them know what is not acceptable. We are also allowed to bring in food if we would like ... but I never do. Their menu is fine with me. But I know a few moms that do organic food only, so they send in all their kids meals.

Our daycare also does not have a tv, but I think they watch some shows occassionally (i know the kids dance to Hip Hop Harry) ... I would definitely talk to the director about your concerns. You are paying them to take care of your kids, and you should ALWAYS let your worries by heard ...

As for the transition, mine have been in since 10 months, so they are used to it by now. I think since they were much younger, the transition was easier. Still, just yesterday they cried when we dropped them off, because both me and DH dropped them off, because our other car was in the shop. Since usually it's just DH, I think they got confused about why we were both there, and just wanted to leave with us. But like a PP said, we just walked around the corner, and 1 minute later they were playing together ...

It's also not a bad thing to maybe just peek around at a few other daycares in your area. If you have concerns about where they are, can't hurt to shop around ... especially now that you may have more questions to ask than when researching before they started!

Good luck!

 

Powdered Donuts and scooby doo, not good for two year olds. How much tv do they watch in a day?

The seperation is normal I think, hope that gets better, but the other things I would look into.

Good luck it must be so hard on you.


amanda

 

I cannot believe that a daycare center would serve powdered donuts as a breakfast item or that they would watch TV at all, regardless of what it is. And of all things for them to put on...Scooby Doo? Where is the educational value in that? My son has been going to daycare since 12 weeks and they don't do either of these things. Like one of the PP said - they have to have a grain, fruit, etc. at each meal so their meals are always balanced. I would freak out over both and consider finding a new daycare. I pay a lot of money each week for my son to go to this daycare so I expect him to be getting balanced meals and doing enough activities and free play that they don't have time for TV period.

As for the seperation anxiety thing, it is totally normal. My son is 2 and a half and he still will have periods (last a few days or a week) where he will be super clingy and cry when I leave. I know he loves the daycare and his friends and is always happy when I pick him up and the teacher tells me he stops within a few minutes of me leaving but it still makes me feel awful to leave him sobbing. I think your children will adjust after a while though...give them some time.

 

thanks for your responses girls...as for finding another daycare I'm going to work on it however its just not that easy in my area - most places either want a full week (which is unaffordable plus my parents enjoy having the kids 2 days a week) OR the waiting list is 6-9 months long...I was lucky that this place I only had to wait a month - I do have them on a waiting list for another place that may open up around September so I will probably change them at that time...

 

I haven't read all of the replies, so this may be a duplicate. I'd ask for a menu and a daily schedule from your daycare. They should know monthly (at a minimum weekly) what the kids will eat daily and what they will "do" day to day in general. Do your kids have a lovey or something that they could take with them every day? If not, now is a time to give them something that is for school only. I've heard of folks making pillowcases with pictures of their family on them. We just take our favorite blankets each day.

It will definitely take time to adjust but the teachers should be giving your kids some extra attention right now as they make that transition. As far as the powdered donuts, I'd refer to the menu to see if this is just a once in awhile thing. Remember your kids could be having a sugar high which is contributing to this behavior. If the menu overall looks balanced, I wouldn't worry about this too much or ask your provider to serve something different. As for the video/TV, that would definitely upset me. Again, this should be an exception to the rule.

Check the menu and the schedule, then you can decide if the daycare situation is right for you. You may need to switch daycares. In this instance, you get what you pay for. JMO.

Shannon

 

My girls have been in daycare since they were 4 months. They are 14 months now. They are actually very happy and we had no real transition issues. They are very well cared for and get very excited when they see their teachers. I do prepare all their food and try to make sure that they get fresh fruits, veggies, meats, etc. However, on occassion the staff does buy dounts and muchkins for the center. I really don't make a big deal about b/c it happens once a month. That being said, there was one Friday when the center was having a McDonlad's Friday rather than Pizza and I did not let the girls participate. I know they are both junk food, but I feel more comfortable about pizza than McDonalds. So, you really have to find out how often they will be giving the kids junk food and what you are comfortable with.

Videos and TV. The kids do watch TV in the morning when there is a lot of drop off activity and in the evening when there is a lot of pick up activity. But, the only thing that they play are The Wiggles and Baby Einstein videos. So, it doesn't really bother me.

Also. I receive a summary sheet of the girls activites. the piece of paper tells me what they have eaten, inlcuding snacks, the time they had breakfast and lunch, when they were changed, what they did in their diaper, and who changed them, and their naps. So, its very helpful for me to determine how they are doing and what they are eating.

 

QUOTE(i4get @ May 8 2008, 05:09 PM) [snapback]762853[/snapback]
It will definitely take time to adjust but the teachers should be giving your kids some extra attention right now as they make that transition.


That's true. When Grace was having trouble at first transitioning, the teacher would pick her up and take her to look at something to redirect her attention.

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ May 7 2008, 10:11 PM) [snapback]761874[/snapback]
I don't think you are over reacting Amy!! Donuts are NOT acceptable unless brought from home by the parents!!!

Any media should be age appropriate to the youngest common denominator! I would start looking for a new place personally!!!



I agree with Di. If your gut is saying something is wrong here, then you are most likely right. :hug99:

 

Here's my advice. I run a daycare out of my home and have 2 year olds, so I know how things should be run and I would never show kids Scooby-Doo. It is for school aged children, not toddlers. And powered donuts are not acceptable or nutritious. They must not have to follow a food program that is approved. I would give it one more week. If they continue to cry when you drop them off, something isn't right. It's normal for kids to cry when dropped off at daycare, but not when you are not even in the parking lot. Maybe you could drop in unexpected here in the next week to check on what they are doing all day. Just my two sense.

 

I put my girls in daycare 3 days a week last October and it did take them a few weeks to totally adjust. Then they switched to a different class when they were 2 and we had to go through the crying when I left thing all over again, but it didn't take a long for them to adjust that time.

I would be concerned over the donuts and the video for sure. I am like you I give my girls sugar and they do watch TV, but I just wouldn't feel right about them getting that kind of stuff at daycare. I am paying them a lot of money to watch my kids and I don't think that they should be plopped down in front of the TV.