Daycare issues

My twins are 19months old, and I have decided to put them in nursery/daycare a few mornings a week, I need the break frankly, and I think its probably good for them to spend some time away from me and out of the house playing. Well, my kids started at the daycare on Sunday (it is an expensive daycare), and basically this daycare has all the 12-24mnth olds in one room, and they have like 5-6 kids in the class, and all of them are new and are adjusting to being away from their moms. So, basically for the past 3 days I take my kids there, and there are 2 TAs and 1 Teacher, and they are all busy holding crying toddlers, to the point where there is no way I can actually leave my kids because there is no one left to hold my two when i do leave (I think DS will not cry much, but I am sure DD will cry the entire time I am gone, at least for the first week or two). So, I have stayed with my kids for the past 3 days (partially because I want them to get used to the place, but partially because I don't feel safe leaving them there) and actually looked after them the last 3 days, and really, honestly why the heck am I paying them to take care of my kids when I end up doing all of the caretaking because they all have their hands full!

I have talked with the director and gave some suggestions (like that they should have staggered the new kids so that they only had 1-2 new kids/wk - which doesn't help me too much now), also perhaps they can have the parents of the crying toddlers (none of whom are working) only leave them for an hour at a time for the first week or two (and stagger the time during the day), that way the kids only have to listen to 1 or 2 kids crying for an hour - not 5 kids crying for 4hrs! ugh! There is one little 16month old in particular that is having a really rough time (her mom drops her off at 8am and doesn't come back until 1pm - and she cries and is carried the entire time), and basically the teacher or TA has to hold her the entire 4hrs - and for some reason the teachers and assistants dont seem to be handle more then one child at a time. I am just so frustrated with what to do at this point. I really wanted mine to start nursery, but in this type of environment is not fun for me so I am sure its not very fun for them. Maybe I should just hold off a week or two and have mine start after some of the other kids have settled down.

Any suggestions?

 

Yikes! And I thought 2 clingy, crying toddlers was tough! :laughing:

Honestly, if it was feasible, I'd hold off a week or two (or three) until the other kids get used to being there and then I would send mine so they would (hopefully) be the only crying, clinging ones and the teacher and TAs would be able to better meet all the toddlers' needs.

Sorry you're dealing with this! It is stressful enough trusting someone else to care for them without dealing with concerns regarding what is going on in the daycare! Good luck, I'm sure it will get better with time.

 

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That sounds horrible! FOR EVERYBODY!

Mine are starting on MOnday for the FIRST TIME EVER away from ME.. I'm petrified.

It's only one day a week but it's for six and 1/2 hrs. I bet the same thing will happen to me.

I TOTALLY think you (and maybe me) should wait 2 or 3 weeks to send them! UGH UGH UGH but it totally shouldn't surprise me. That sounds pretty normal. BUT.. they SHOULD have EXTRA staff to call in for the first month or two! I cannot believe this wouldn't be planned for?? I mean, surely this isn't the first time this has happened? DUH!

Good luck and SERIOUSLY keep us posted!! I'm scared!

 

If I was in your shoes, I agree with your idea of letting them start again in a couple of weeks.

 

I would say hold off a week or two until everyone else calms down, but honestly, there is just going to be crying all around in the mornings. Mine have been in daycare since 10 weeks, so they are pretty adjusted to the process, but they still go through periods where they are both screaming when I leave. (I am told that 5 minutes later they are fine). I honestly think leaving them needs to be more like removing a bandaid. Just do it quick, say goodbye, and let them adjust. Sometimes, I think the more you prolong it, the worse it's going to be. There's no possible scenario (absent you staying in nursery school with them, which is beside the point) in which there is not going to be crying during adjustment.

I am surprised that the daycare center doesn't have more suggestions for you. You have told us what you have suggested to them. What have they said in response? They do this every year. If they tell you the kids will adjust, they know what they are talking about. Also, I think that daycare workers interact better with the children when the parents aren't there. They are taking cues from you and dealing with the fact that you are watching them all day, so they probably feel like they need to behave a certain way.

 

I agree with the previous posts about holding off to introducing your kids. I, too, am surprised the center doesn't have a better way to deal with it since this is their job. My girls have been in daycare since 6 months, but just recently, they have become whiny and crying when I leave. But, the teachers keep telling me to just say "Bye" and go...the longer I stay, the harder it is on everyone. I always ask how they did when I go to pick them up--and always, I'm told the girls calm down and continue on with whatever they are doing. Good luck!! It's not an easy situation.