Day care woes

Have I mentioned lately that daycare sucks? If not, let me say it now. Daycare sucks. When I was 3 months pregnant we toured daycares and put our name on the list for the place we really wanted into - with a 15mo waiting list for the baby room. They now have spots for us (actually only 13mo). But since it was so far out I had to have a stop gap place. We found one that was actually a close runner up that had openings in April when I thought I would have to go back to work. However, come March 1st I called them to let them know the boys bday and request a start date at the end of April. They took down the info and called me back a week later (3 weeks before our original start date). "Unfortunately we aren't going to have spots until June." Are you kidding me!?!? What are we supposed to do with them from April until June??? We managed.

Flash forward to present day. We turned in our paperwork for the new school, and submitted our 2 weeks notice to our old school. Imagine my surprise when I get a call this morning. "Hi - we saw something a little surprising in your paperwork and wanted to verify some information." Hmmm... this doesn't sound good... "You checked that one of the babies is crawling?" Yes.... "Are you sure?" Well.... it looks like crawling to me. He gets up on all fours and is able to get from point A to point B. I call that crawling. Granted, he lurches some, and takes some breaks, but no doubt he has the concept down. "Well, that's the problem." How exactly is crawling a problem?? "Well, we assumed they would be like standard twins and not crawl until 9-10 months old." [Silence] "We don't have room for them in the bigger baby room - where they need to go once they can crawl." [More silence while I am reining in my indignation] "We were expecting them to go into the little baby room with all the other non-movers. So, I am not sure we will be able to take them after all. Well, I mean the baby that is crawling that is."

What exactly is an appropriate response to that? I am truly at a loss.

 

[sigh] I feel for you. Even though I haven't been there YET, I feel like I want to jump through the phone and strangle the guy myself.. They should have given you better info when you initially checked the place out..

 

REMOVE your children from that center at once!! That is just crap! I have been around daycare all of my life....(my mom has directed one for the past 26 years) and that is a first! Find another center!


I am sorry you are having to deal with this!

 

First of all I would be extremely upset! And, what is a STANDARD twin? My boys were walking at 10 months let alone crawling long before that. Personally I wouldn't take my kids there if they are already acting like that. I may be over reacting, but I want my kids to go where they are wanted not somewhere that may or may not be able to MAKE room for them. IF the other daycare is willing would you be able to let them stay there instead? I may be a bit spoiled at my daycare... my guys are th only twins and everyone is sooo happy when they get there. It is nice when I get out of class early and can just sneak in and watch how wonderful they are treated. Sorry about your problems.. Good Luck!

 

I am still somewhere between fuming and seething.... What I really want to know is what would have happened if they started there say a month ago before they got mobile and then all of a sudden they started crawling? What would they do? Kick them out? I mean I kinda understand they do some planning and have to guestimate when babies will be moving up to know when they have room for new babies and all, but... Wow.

 

Oh, I would run away from that one. Expecting "standard" twins or children. So what do they do with a child that doesn't fit the "standard" mold?

I would so not send my children there, every child is different and a daycare of all places should know and handle that well.

 

We have a conference scheduled in the morning. They asked me to bring the boys, too. So we will see how it goes.

I went ahead and called our current place and asked if they had already filled our spots. Luckily they hadn't processed the withdrawl yet, so I asked them hold off for a few days.

 

QUOTE(beemer @ Aug 14 2008, 12:03 PM) [snapback]930010[/snapback]
Have I mentioned lately that daycare sucks? If not, let me say it now. Daycare sucks. When I was 3 months pregnant we toured daycares and put our name on the list for the place we really wanted into - with a 15mo waiting list for the baby room. They now have spots for us (actually only 13mo). But since it was so far out I had to have a stop gap place. We found one that was actually a close runner up that had openings in April when I thought I would have to go back to work. However, come March 1st I called them to let them know the boys bday and request a start date at the end of April. They took down the info and called me back a week later (3 weeks before our original start date). "Unfortunately we aren't going to have spots until June." Are you kidding me!?!? What are we supposed to do with them from April until June??? We managed.

Flash forward to present day. We turned in our paperwork for the new school, and submitted our 2 weeks notice to our old school. Imagine my surprise when I get a call this morning. "Hi - we saw something a little surprising in your paperwork and wanted to verify some information." Hmmm... this doesn't sound good... "You checked that one of the babies is crawling?" Yes.... "Are you sure?" Well.... it looks like crawling to me. He gets up on all fours and is able to get from point A to point B. I call that crawling. Granted, he lurches some, and takes some breaks, but no doubt he has the concept down. "Well, that's the problem." How exactly is crawling a problem?? "Well, we assumed they would be like standard twins and not crawl until 9-10 months old." [Silence] "We don't have room for them in the bigger baby room - where they need to go once they can crawl." [More silence while I am reining in my indignation] "We were expecting them to go into the little baby room with all the other non-movers. So, I am not sure we will be able to take them after all. Well, I mean the baby that is crawling that is."

What exactly is an appropriate response to that? I am truly at a loss.


I do not think my idea of an "appropriate" response is appropriate here. My daycare has babies in the same room until 1 year/walking. I've never heard of a non-mover and mover room? These are people who are supposed to help your babies reach development milestones, not discourage it.

 

That is how my daycare is except it is up to age 2.

 

If you decide not to use this daycare, I think a scathing letter (with all the points you have mentioned here) is in order.

 

mg that is horrible! WTH are "standard twins"?? Would they say that to a singleton- even a preemie single?? UGH! And I have never heard of separating movers and non movers. All the ones I've seen go by age only.

 

I worked in a school that had infants up to preschool. I can tell you-they did not leave the INFANT room-until they were a year old! From their they went to the "wobblers" room, then toddler, then preschool. I think it's **** if you ask me!

I too would not put my child there. Crawling, not crawling, standing, sitting, etc.. It's the development of babies. So let me guess-once they start to sit and not just lay there-they go to a different room too? Geesh!

 

We had almost a similar experience with a daycare! I had gone and visited and was not aware there was a younger infant room and an older infant room (I used to work at a daycare that kept infants in the same room till age 1). Well... I went to pay our registration fee and they asked how old the babies were again. I said 6 months and got the response "so are they crawling?" umm.. no, they were 11 weeks early and are a little behind. (don't a lot of babies not start crawling by 6 months?) Now understand, they had the babies' birthday for over a month and I was never told there were two rooms that were divided like that. So anyway, a week before they were supposed to start in a town where EVERY daycare has outrageous waiting lists I was told there was no room! I was supposed to start work that next week and had NO idea what to do. Luckily, a daycare in the town that I work in had two spots open up sooner than they thought they would and they were able to start the same day we needed them to. This daycare also has a younger and older infant room and they are in the younger infant room with 3 other babies who are about the same as their adjusted age. I love this place, they people are super and so friendly. There is also always somebody to help me get both carriers out to the car!

Hope your daycare problems work out and you find a suitable place.

 

Can we all say "idiot"??? That is completely rude to say the least. Not to mention a huge generalization that for the most part isn't true!!! Definitely a place not worth the wait. It's a good thing you see their true colors now rather than later!

 

I wouldn't be offended by the "standard twins" comment but I would be totally angry that they said they had spots but really didn't. Most babies aren't crawling by 5 months old though so I would assume that there are very few 5 month old in the big baby room. "Standard twins" could be replaced by "standard baby".

Still, it's the daycare's fault for not figuring out that one of your babies would need the big baby room and they should figure out a way to deal with the situation. What do they do when one of the babies in the little baby room start crawling but there's no spot in the big baby room? Kick them out? What would they have done if your baby started crawling a week after starting daycare? (LOL, I just read on of your replies and saw you asked the same thing. )

 

Sorry you've had trouble! I also had a hard time getting into Day Care.

I signed up for 2 the moment I found out I was pregnant. I did not get into either. My first choice which is my Day Care at work actually asked me if I would consider enrolling one initially as they often have 1 slot available and siblings of kids already enrolled have a higher priority to admission. I said I would consider it provided they were still young enough to not notice each other. Too late now! I found a Day Care 2 miles from my office that had a last minute cancellation and took both. They are now happily in an infant class and will be with the until teachers from the next year. And I've met other twin parents from work who had the same situation and also ended up in our current Day Care so the teachers there have experience with twins too.

I will be curious to see what they say -- all the Day Cares I've looked at separate kids by age not developmental milestones.

 

That is so frustrating! :hug99:

I guess I had "standard twins" because they crawled at 9 month

 

Oh, man, I am so irate on your behalf. I would not take my kids there--clearly they have very low expectations for them, which I can't think would be good for them. Particularly as they get older. That's ridiculous. I don't really understand their logic anyway; babies develop at different rates regardless of whether they are multiples. There's no "standard" twin or "standard" singleton.

You are right--daycare sucks. Fortunately, I am happy with our center and the teachers; but I am home with them today with our third cold in three months. Sigh.

Best of luck to you!!!

 

Oooh ouch! Just what exactly, is a "standard twin"? Is it the same as a "standard singleton"? Wow, I wasn't aware there was such a thing. I was under the impression all babies were individuals that developed exactly at the rate that suited them.

Yeah, don't think you're going to miss out on much by avoiding that daycare.

 

FWIW I talked to the Director and owner this morning. We can still use our spots in the little baby room. Their concern is that my crawler will be bored in there. But he can visit the big baby side when they have extra help (about 6 of the 8 hours they will be there daily). They apoligized profusely for the way this was communicated. Their primary concern of course is for the development and happiness of the children and the little baby side is focused on getting them sitting (which he still needs help with - turkey won't sit still for 2 minutes) and encouraging early mobility at their own pace. The bigger baby side of the room has things to help them learn to pull up and stand and is designed specifically with movers in mind (nothing to get under and get stuck like the changing tables, cribs, etc. on the other side). There are two babies that are starting to walk and as soon as they get proficient (probably 3-4 more weeks) they will move up to the toddler room and then my cralwer can move up, along with another little boy who is just now starting to go backwards. And I think they are praying fervently that my other little guy doesn't start crawling in that timeframe because other than "visiting" they aren't sure what to do.

And that's about where we are - unsure what to do. Before our meeting this morning I was pretty adamant that we would not be attending, but my husband insisted that we go and keep an open mind. I have issues with one of the caretakers at our current place and despite complaints both to her personally, the person in charge of the room, the director, and owner she isn't going to change. She is no longer directly responsible for either of my kids, but she is still in the room. I looked at 2 other centers this week - I wasn't crazy about either, and they had 9-12mo waiting lists anyways. So we are back to Daycare sucks.

 

Wow! Sounds like the person you were talking too was very ignorant! What is a "standard" twin? Each kid is an individual! My twins are 7 1/2 months old and both of them are crawling. How can they make such generalizations? Silliness!

 

WTH!!!

Are you serious??? I can't belive that... What exactly is a "standard twin"????? There is no such thing nor is there such a thing as a "standard singleton"!!!

I can't even fathom someone saying something like that to me,... I'm lucky I haven't had to deal with anything like that because I am EXTREMELY outspoken and would not have hesitated to inform that woman exactly how I flt about hearing that!!

WOW!!!

Shannon

 

I am glad that they apologized for the way this was communicated to you and I am glad that they have plan for your crawler. I am still trying to figure out what a standard twin is. Did not know that there was a standard twin or standard baby...

 

It sounds like the person you spoke with initially was surprised by the info of a 5 month old crawling, and spoke without thinking. It sounds like the center is set up developmentally, and generally you don't expect a 5 month old to be mobile, and she was thrown by that. I agree with your DH, that now that you heard the reasoning, you should go ahead and enroll--especially since you are unhappy with the care at the old center.