Daddy in Iraq

Hi there

I'm still fairly new to posting questions on here but I was just wondering how many of you have DH who are either absent a lot or currently gone. My DH was recently deployed to Iraq and will be gone 7-10 months We have 6 month old b/g twins and I am wondering what is the best way I should keep reminding them of daddy so that when he gets home they remember him. My DS especially already has stranger anxiety, funny as he is usually so outgoing and such a ham

We have lots of pictures that we look at and I made them each a picture book with family pics in it that they play with and in the evenings we watch videos of daddy reading them bedtime stories but are they too young to understand? Everyone keeps telling me that it is good he is gone while they are still young as they won't remember him being gone but I feel like they were already so bonded to him before he left. I am wondering if that is why my DS is having such stranger anxiety now as he is missing dad and does not want to go to anyone else but mom now? Or maybe it is simply an age thing?

Thankfully I am able to go home and stay with family part of the time so I will have help and tons of support throughout the holidays. These first couple weeks have been tough but I am so thankful to have my beautiful babies who keep me so incredibly busy I honestly don't have time to get too depressed. I'm also proud to know that I can do this on my own its not always fun or easy but I know we can do it. We will be so so glad when he comes home.

My thoughts go out to others of you that also have loved ones deployed. Thank You

 

I'm sorry that your DH has to be deployed while the babies are still so young. My DBF is supposed to deploy for his 3rd tour somewhere around January. It sucks!

My cousin's DH left for Korea for a year when their son was 7 months old. She would always let him "talk" to Daddy whenever he called and keep telling him that Daddy is talking to him. She always showed him pictures and videos of him. She had a teddy bear that she would let him sleep with with Daddy's voice on it whenever he squeezed it. It took a little bit of adjustment when he first came home but it went pretty smoothly. He remembered him pretty well because everyone talked about him and he heard his voice all the time. He got to where he called a phone a "hida"... it was so cute. Then he left again for Iraq for a year when the baby was 2 1/2 years old... but it was easier then since he could talk by then.

I hope time flies for you all. Thank you for doing your part in fighting for this country!! It is never easy giving up the ones we love for an extended period of time for this country.

 

First, thanks to your DH and you and your family.

My DH travels a lot for work, but he gets to come home each weekend. We do a lot with phone calls, which I don't think are an option as much for you. We also take pcitures of what the girls are doing so he can see them when he gets back, and I keep showing ones of him to my girls. And we talk about him a lot, too.

I also think there might be a military families forum off of the main forum page. You might want to check into that if I read it right that one is available.

Good luck, and thanks again!

 

Hi there!!
Thank your DH for me, I appreciate all he is doing for our country.

There is a Military Families board on Twinstuff if you want to pop in there and talk to other military moms. You can click HERE to go to that page.

 

THANKYOU - we really, really appreciate all he is doing and you for having him away from you and your family while he is fighting for our country. :bow2:

it sounds like you are doing the right things!! the videos of him reading to the babies are a wonderful idea!! what a treasure those will be even after he comes home and years from now when the twins are much older and can understand the sacrifices he is making to keep all of us safe. by hearing his voice and actually seeing him talking -
I think that you will be surprised at how much they will remember - when he comes home that first hug will be priceless!

you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

:hug99: , Heather

 

Hey there. Welcome and congratulations on your twins! I see that you've already been directed to our Military Families forum. You can fight great advice and support from women who are walking in your shoes. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq. Although he is in the Navy he is on the ground helping to support the Army/Marine Corps. Our boys are 5 years old and this is not the first long-term deployment we've experienced. I think the separation anxiety is indicative of the age rather than the fact that your DH is gone. I think that what you are doing is ABSOLUTELY the right way to handle it. Show them pictures. Watch vidoes. Talk about him as if he's there. The people telling you that it's good for the babies that he is gone while they are young are right in that respect. At that age, and even up until around 3-years old, my boys did not have a concept of time, so they did not know if daddy had been gone 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, or 6 months. Also, because he had been in and out since they were born, I guess you could say they didn't know any other way. However, when he left in June......this was/has been the worst. They are fully aware at almost 6 that he is gone, has been gone, and will be gone for a long time. I would say you are very fortunate to have family and are able to go visit them. They will be a tremendous help to you, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I also think you have the right attitude. This is the kind of attitude that separates the good military spouses from the not-so-good military spouses. You know that it won't be easy, but you do not mentally set youself up for doom and gloom. You can and you will get through this. Use your resources when you need them!

 

QUOTE(MichelleL @ Sep 24 2007, 10:58 AM) [snapback]420534[/snapback]
Hi there!!
Thank your DH for me, I appreciate all he is doing for our country.

There is a Military Families board on Twinstuff if you want to pop in there and talk to other military moms. You can click HERE to go to that page.


Hi there
I tried to access the military forum and it said I needed a forum password??

 

I agree with Heather in that you are doing all the right things. Keep your support network strong. Dh's first deployment my oldest was la little ess than a year old. I would give her duplicates of pictures of her dad to carry around, and she would take them everywhere with her, and when she destroyed that one I would give her another. :hug99: It's a hard time but you will get through it. We will be facing the 1st deployment since the twins in the spring. They are a little older (3) so I am not sure how they are going to react, they are pretty attached to their dad.