crying

I'm hoping to get some insight here (please!)

DH and I are at our wits end. Babies are 3.5 weeks old and I am currently breastfeeding with the exception of one bottle of formula before bed (DH ffeds them while I try to catch some sleep).

Our problem is that the boys are either eating (or sucking at the breast) or screaming - especially in the night through to the morning. It's so hard to get them to sleep in their crib. We'll finally get them to sleep in our arms, but as soon as we lay them down they wake up and start screaming all over again. I find that I am giving them my breast all the time just to get them to stop. We bought pacifiers this weekend but it really hasn't made a difference. What are we doing wrong? How do we get them to sleep in the night. This has been an on-going problem so I don't think it's a growth spurt.

How much are they supposed to sleep? Maybe they are sleeping too much during the day (doesn't seem like it)- usually in the afternoon when I am runnign errands etc

What do you do with them while they are awake - I try talking to them etc but usually I am just so tired..

I feel like a terrible mother already. sigh.

WHen do they atart to stay awake and NOT cry?

Thanks

 

Will they sleep in a swing or bouncy seat? That's what we did, and the swings were LIFESAVERS. Otherwise, it's just rough at 3.5 weeks. For me, it really turned around at 5-6 weeks. That was the age where they would sleep between their wake-ups to eat.

 

No!!! They hate the newborn swing, bouncy chair AND rocker.... they scream when I put them in it (even if they were asleep)

 

:hug: First off, you are not a terrible mother. We have all been in your shoes at one point in time and can tell you from experience that the first few months with twinfants are extremely difficult! Reading your post you sound like an exceptional mom who is trying her best to satisfy her babies and keep them happy! :hug:

With infants, the more you can get them to sleep during the day the more they will sleep at night. When mine were newborns we did 90 minutes awake/90 minutes asleep all day long. It started at 6 am. I would un-swaddle the first baby at 6 am and feed her until 6:30 am. Then I would leave the first baby unswaddled for "play time" for the rest of the 90 minutes while I fed the 2nd baby. Play time was just time on the floor or in the swing or bouncy. At the end of the 90 minutes I swaddled them both up and placed them in the crib. If one (or both) of them did not want to nap in the crib and fussed I would put her back into the swing or rock her but she stayed tightly swaddled.

There were lots of times when they both demanded to be fed at the same time so it didn't always work out perfectly, but I kept them on the 90 minutes awake/90 minutes nap. After the 9 pm feeding they went straight back into the swaddle and down for the night. That was the cue for them that it was night time.

Some suggestions I would have for you if you're not already doing this is to use a white noise machine and swaddle them tightly. I received "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD as a gift and got a lot of good suggestions from it.

Hang in there, the first few months are very tough.

 

I agree that 6 weeks seemed to be the turning point for us. Until then, I let them sleep wherever they were because mine were not the best sleepers. Sometimes that meant I held them on my chest (at least I could get a bit of rest that way) or left them in the swing, bouncy, carseat, etc. White noise is good, swaddling helps a lot of people, I also had a thing that attached to the crib & made it vibrate gently (supposedly like a car) that helped some. Anything at all in the first few weeks, I just went with it. Hang in there, you are in the very thick of it right now. :hug:

 

Do you have a swing that does a "cradle" motion, ie side to side? My boys liked that much more early on. You could also take them to a store and try out a few different bouncy chairs/soothers. They come in many different forms and my boys had definite preferences. What about their car seats? It sounds like more sleep is needed during the day. It really is just a rough time!

 

I agree with a previous poster: Sleep begets sleep. Don't let anyone tell you that you should keep them awake during the day so they will sleep at night. The more they sleep during the day the more they'll sleep at night.

You are really going through the worst of it right now. I nearly had a nervous breakdown; so don't feel bad about the things you're feeling. Sounds like your babies may be colicky. If so, nothing much to be done about it but to endure it. It will end eventually. Just try everything - rock them, sing to them, drive them around in the car, sit them on top of the clothes dryer. Whatever anyone suggests to you, try it. My colicky girl would sometimes only stop crying after being swung almost violently in her car seat for a few minutes and then rocked in it aggressively for hours. At other times, she preferred being strapped into her Ergo baby carrier and walked around the house in circles.

 

I will also recommend the The Happiest Baby on the Block. I read the book and found it really helpful... the 5 "S"s are Swaddle, Swing, lay them Sideways, Suck and something else. My guys liked to be swaddled tightly and we let them sleep in their car seats or in the bouncy seats. Don't worry about forming bad habits, just get them to sleep anywhere you can. When it was really bad and I was by myself I'd snuggle one in the Maya wrap and hold the other. You are not a bad mom, just keep trying stuff and find what works for your family.

 

Another thing to consider is something in your diet that bothers them or the formula. Try Mylicon (we used the generic) in the bottle and when I was breastfeeding I gave it when I burped partway through. The other thing that came to mind is reflux. Wanting to eat constantly is a sign because that first bit of milk helps calm the acid that's working it's way up the esophagus. Try keeping them upright after feedings and see if that helps. It really does get better, promise!

 

Hi there and congrats on your new babies!!!
At 3.5 weeks, my twins also hated their swings (started loving them and napping in them around 7-8 weeks), the best thing would be to have a quick look at the happiest baby on the block dvd, someone suggested this on here and it changed everything for us! You can see snipits on you tube, and your library should have the dvd, it is only about 35 minutes long and it is brilliant, just like magic!
You are a great mother and these first few weeks are very tough, hang in there!

 

I agree with PP. Do a search on youtube.com for "Happiest Baby on the Block" and watch the videos. The "5 S's" really do work! Have your husband watch it too so he can help.

 

I agree with Happiest Baby on the block, that with a tight swaddle blanket (we used swaddle blankets by Kiddopatamus), and a white noise machine helps a ton!!! Good luck, it does get better!!!!

 

It is definitely not easy. I agree with the PP who said it may be colic. Both of our babies had acid reflux and they both ended up on meds and I stopped pumping and we put our daughter on Similac Sensitive and our son on Similac Alimentum. The Alimentum is expensive but it worked. It says on the can that it is for colic. I'm not sure what foods you would have to avoid while breastfeeding but I'm thinking most likely all dairy. We also used the Fisher Price Soothing Motions Glider for my daugher and that helped her to sleep. The fact that they start screaming when you lay them flat down may point to reflux. They don't necessarily have to be spewing everywhere for it to be reflux. I would definitely take them into your pediatrician and try to figure out if it is reflux or something else.

At that age ours were still getting up every 3 hours to eat. I was pumping & supplementing with formula so we did shifts. It is so tiring. I felt the same way you did as far as not doing enough with them when they were awake. I was so afraid they would be behind developmentally because of me. Right now you are in survival mode. Do what you are able to do.

 

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all of your replies and kind words! You've really helped me feel better

I have the Happiest Baby on the Blcok(book) and we do swaddle them tightly at night - it has definitely helped us, as has the white noise machine.

I was wondering if maybe they have colic... we have an appt with the dr next week, so I will bring it up them. maybe I will try cutting out dairy - but don't I need calcium while breastfeeding?

I had no idea that more sleep during the day means more sleep at night! Today they had a lot of sleep so I'll have to see if that helps tonight. My mom arrived today and she's already telling me to "keep them awake so they sleep at night" - could be interesting...

Thanks for your support and making me feel like not sucha bad mom! SOmetimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees if you know what I mean.