Crying it out?

Hello,

First time here. I am here because I am struggling on how to handle my crying babies at night. My b/g twins are 1 month old today. I also have a 2 1/2 year old that is very demanding but cute as a button. Somehow my dd was sleeping through the night at about 1-2 months old. But when I first started putting her down to sleep she would cry so I tried the ferberizing method and it worked well. She would just go to sleep on her own until the next feeding. Now I have two babies that are quite fussy around 11 pm. Sometimes one cries until I hold them for a long time or both cry and and I can't hold both...well I can hold both but picking them both up is really hard. What do you suggest? Is it okay to let them cry? My daughter can cry so bad she is holding her breath and that takes a matter of seconds before she gets that upset that quickly. Once she's fed/changed/held it's over. How can I be accomodating to both babies? Should I let them cry a little so they can calm themselves?

Any suggestions would be so helpful....thanks!!!!

 

Welcome and congrats on your babies! I have a two year old son who slept like a dream from day one. He was sleeping through the night by 6 weeks, and it was fantastic. Then we had these little ones and I figured out real quick that no two babies are alike! My twins were much needier, and at 6 months they still wake up once or twice a night. My personal feeling is that at one month old they are WAY too young to cry it out. They just can't self-soothe this early on. Now of course there will be times when they will fuss for a few minutes, but to cry to the point of complete hysteria is just too much. I would continue to pick them up to soothe them and re-address the CIO issue in several months. Are you swaddling? Using a swing? Pacifiers? white noise machines? All those things really helped my twins chill out while I was trying to get things done. Without a swing I would have been holding both babies 24/7. Good luck!

Reyna

 

Hi there. I had a couple of fussy newborns as well. To help get through this difficult time I relied on a book/DVD called The Happiest Baby on the Block, which details a bunch of ideas for soothing babies, including: swaddling (and it shows you how to do it right), swings, soothers, white noise, and special movements. I used these techniques religiously and couldn't have lived with out them. I know you don't have time to read a book, but the DVD is available through amazon.com and it'll be the best 45 minutes you'll spend. Plus you can make your DH, MIL, mother, friends (anyone who lends a hand sometimes) watch it so they can actually be helpful!

As a first-time mom I didn't feel comfortable with CIO. You know what works best for you, since you've done this before.

Congratulations on your new arrivals. If it makes you feel any better, my especially super fussy, colicky baby now sleeps 12 blissful hours every night (and has pretty much since 3 months). You'll get there!

 

:sign0016: I had fussy babies too! It's hard! I don't think there is anything wrong with letting them fuss a little, but I waited on CIO until my kids were 6-9 months.

You are in a really tough stage right now. I would suggest doing whatever works. By that I mean, if they sleep well in their swings all night, so be it! Emma slept in her swing all night until she was 3 months old. Jake slept with me.

:love0028:

 

congrats on your twins! I would wait on the cio - we JUST started letting them cry a little bit and the boys are 5 months old. I'd always heard it's best to wait until they're 5+ months. But i think there might be other things to try, like swaddling and swings. And of course remember that you're in the middle of the hardest part of it.

(p.s. - i love pugs too! my IL's have 3 pugs who absolutely adore the babies!)

 

Just wanted to say welcome to TS. You got some great info in the previous posts so I wont repeat it all. But definitely do what works to help them to sleep and dont worry about starting bad habits. Swing, binkies,walk them to sleep, nurse or bottle, whatever. They are way too young to CIO. So do whatever you need to do to get them and you some rest. Congrats on your babies.

 

Congrats on your blessings. My twins are 4.5 months now and were EXTREMELY fussy babies for quite a while. My ped suggested letting them learn to self soothe around 3.5months and said 4months was okay to let them go a little louder a little longer. In the early days mine slept in their swings and I did whatever I could to soothe them whenever I could. I don't have anyother children though so I am sure it was much easier for me. Many a time it was me on the couch holding two screaming babies (and sometimes crying myself) for what seemed like hours on end. I may not have been able to stop them from crying but at least they knew they were not alone and that they were loved...KWIM? I specifically remember thinking about a post on here, from Diane I think, and she said she always called this screamfest on the couch "baby love time" or something like that. Anyway, thinking about that made me smile and know I was not the only one.

As far as picking them both up at the same time, I always have....I just say here we go for a scoop and scoop them up. I would probably have a nervous attack if I saw anyone else do that though, DH included. Just pick one up, set them on a boppy or something and then pick the other up and scoop the boppy one right up into your arms or at least sit real close to them and rub their little belly or something. I also remember the colic hold working pretty well. I think that Happiest Child on the Block is a good suggestion - it helped me, although there was not much time to read it so watching it is definitly a great idea.

Just remember their cries are the only way they can communicate and some babies have a good deal more to say than others !

Amy

 

The fact of having twins is sometimes one will have to cry for a few min. I wouldn't CIO for long periods at that age.

(once they have better head and neck control picking them both up will be much easier!) I would employ a swing and a bouncy for help with soothing one while you work with the other. The swing and "zoomer" (ours was less bouncy than rocker and vibration) were life savers for us!!!

Good luck!! You are in the throes of this endeavor and before you know it, the first year will be gone and the 2nd goes even faster. :hug99:

:sign0016: Glad you found us and hope you'll find a lot of help and support on the boards!! :sign0016:

 

Thanks everyone for your ideas. I think that's why I asked suggestions on CIO...I feel too guilty once they start . I hate to hear them cry, it breaks my heart. I will get that book/DVD and I've started swaddling which seems to really help my fussy little girl. My little man isn't that fussy but I'm swaddling him too. Question on the swaddling...can you swaddle too tight? I only swaddle one arm and the other I let hang out but they seem to wriggle the other arm out and then there blanket is loose.

 

You can't swaddle too tight. Just imagine the super tight conditions they were used to in utero. Tight is like home to them, that's why they like it. If a newborn can break free from a swaddle it's not tight enough. I suggest both arms in. The DVD will show you step by step.

 

Babies cry at night at this age cause they are hungry. You gotta feed them. I don't think CIO should be used until they have some level of object permanence (they know that when you leave you'll be back) and that doesn't come til late in the first year.