Crying - How long is too long?

When we first came home from the hospital, my goal was almost no leaving to cry (a couple minutes max). After a month of that I thought I would lose my mind and built my tolerance up and technique as well so that I can withstand one crying for a bit while I tend to the other, but also talk to them and try to soothe them. I tell them it's ok and that they are all right and that mommy is here and going to take care of them.

So I used to get up and soothe while feeding one and interrupt their bottle. Now I'm not doing that as much. Is that awful??? How long is too long? Should I be getting up and soothing mid-bottle? I put them in bouncers in front of me, but sometimes (esp DD) is not going to stop crying unless I pick her up.

Anyway, I'm just wondering what other twin moms do. I have a lady coming to do a trial day with me on Friday for child care and I'm not sure what to tell her. I mostly wing it and don't really have a formula for how long is too long and such.

Hope this makes sense. BTW - I'm not talking about crying associated with sleeping/napping in regards to this. Mostly just, feeding, diapering, bathing, etc.

 

Sometimes you just have to let them cry, especially if you are busy with the other.

 

At first I tried to comfort both and found it didn't work they were both unhappy. I dealt with the most deperate one. The hungry one, tired one, etc. It does get better. I rarely have to deal with that now. I try not to let them cry more than 10 min. That is my deal maybe up to 20 depending on the situation.

 

Thank you for the replies. I guess I just need to adjust my perspective and put on my nerves of steel (does anyone know where I might find some?).

 

It is so hard! There are two of them and only one of you, and sometimes they both want your undivided attention... It gets easier when they're older, but at that age I just tried to triage the situation and take care of bigger needs first, and comfort and love on them as much as possible. All you can do is your best. When they were little, I spent so much time telling the one I couldn't take care of at the moment, "I'm sorry honey, it's hard being a twin, isn't it!" (There are still times like that, but luckily far fewer.)

It's ok, you're doing a great job!

 

Sometimes I think the boys first words will be "hang on a second" or "mommy will be right there" ....sad but true. Like the others - I try and take care of the most critical need first - hurt/hungry/tired/poopy diper - and the "exta" needs second - fussy/bored etc. and everyday, that means some crying -- it does get better as time goes (you get better at anticipating needs -- and they get better at waiting. It is hard though....

 

QUOTE(Vikki+2 @ Jan 8 2008, 12:03 PM) [snapback]563103[/snapback]
Sometimes I think the boys first words will be "hang on a second" or "mommy will be right there" ....sad but true. Like the others - I try and take care of the most critical need first - hurt/hungry/tired/poopy diper - and the "exta" needs second - fussy/bored etc. and everyday, that means some crying -- it does get better as time goes (you get better at anticipating needs -- and they get better at waiting. It is hard though....


Same thing here!!! But this is life with twins, you are only one person. As long as they are right there and you are talking to them I think you need to do what you need to do. I always tried to make up for it by giving them one-on-one time when I could and rotating who got fed/diapered/bathed first.