crying all the time

My almost four-year old son has started crying VERY frequently. He cries when he doesn't get his way, he cries if he perceives other kids as being "mean", he cries if his brother bugs him... you get the idea. We just spent a weekend at a cottage with friends and a bunch of other kids and he cried soooo often, saying a game had turned "scary" or that other kids weren't being nice (these are friends he's had since he was born, plus his brother... no one was playing any differently than normal, and if anything, it was generally HIM that wasn't being nice.) This isn't how he usually acts and I'm wondering if this is just a phase other kids have also gone through or if this is just how he is now. If the latter is the case, does anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? I started out responding with sympathy, then by telling him it wasn't a big deal, and now I just sort of ignore it or react matter-of-factly, as if he wasn't bawling his eyes out but instead just saying he was upset. I have been saying that I need him to use his words and tell me in a calm voice what is upsetting him, but that doesn't seem to be working that well either.
We're into week three of this behaviour and I feel like I'm gonna start crying soon.
Any ideas?

 

My 5 year old has always been quick to cry in situations when it just wasn't warranted, like not getting what she wanted, etc. We make her cry in her room. "If you want to cry about this, that's fine, just go in your room and cry about it. You can come out when you're done crying." For her this works like a charm. She's usually done within 30 seconds. I think she just wanted attention.

But it does depend on the child. Her younger sister is just devastated by being sent to her room to cry. Ellie will never stop, being in her room makes it worse. She needs a snuggle on the couch to calm down.

 

At that age, it may still be difficult for children to convey what they are trying to 'say.' Crying may help... or rather, that may be the only way he has to 'tell' you what is going on. :hug: It is frustrating. When that happens, I try to stay calm and talk to them about what is going on. :hug: Good luck!

 

One of my DDs has been crying a lot more as a preschooler than she did as a baby or toddler. She just seems to completely lose it sometimes, as if her dog died. (We don't have a dog. :ibiggrin: ) It happens most often when she is feeling wronged by the world -- like, she thinks we promised her something and then didn't follow through, or she really really really needs for things to be a certain way and they just can't be that way.

I'm at sort of a loss for how to deal with it, but she doesn't seem to really want comfort at first. She just needs to wail until she's ready to be comforted -- then she will say "I want a hug!" Then, if she gets a hug, she is usually OK.

I think 4 is just a very dramatic age. Every little thing is the end of the world. DH and I say it's like raising very small teenagers.