Creative lying.

My twin B lies.  Usually it's to avoid getting in trouble, he doesn't tell malicious lies.  Just the "no I didn't do that" when clearly he did kind of thing.  Recently the lying has taken a creative and very frustrating turn.  Some examples:
 
One day last week (or maybe the week before), he said he couldn't do his homework because he couldn't see his pencil.  He was holding the pencil in his hand and swore up and down he couldn't see it.  He said he knew he was holding it but he couldn't see it.  So my husband goes around the room saying "can you see this?" and pointing at random things, he says 'yes' to everything.  Eventually my husband sent him into my bedroom where I was nursing the baby.  Alex tells me he can't see the pencil he's holding in his hand.  I take the pencil out, put a pair of sunglasses in his hand and ask him what he's holding.  He says sunglasses.  I took them back, replaced the pencil in his hand.  He says he knows he's holding a pencil because he can feel it, but he can't see it.
 
This afternoon, my husband was telling him to write a two page story for something.  (One form of punishment we do is sentences or a story.) Alex asks him "what do you mean by a two day story?"  My husband says "a two PAGE story."  They went back and forth like ten times, the kid is swearing up and down that my husband is saying "two day story" instead of "two page story."  I was standing in the same room as them, I heard him say 'two page story.'  
 
I don't even know what to do with this child.  I am just dumbfounded.  Any brilliant ideas?

 

 I wouldn't engage.  Tell him this is not the place or time for games and if he can't see that pencil get something he can see.  Homework has to be completed by X time or Y will happen, then walk away and follow through with the consequence as necessary.  Same with the 2 page story.  Write down the instructions since he's having trouble hearing, let him know the consequences, then leave him to it.

 

Kate : I think we have same kid with gender changed...... My daughter does this too- I should try dis-engaging

 

I agree, don't engage.  I'd start taking away fun stuff if he kept that up.

 

I know I am sounding like a broken record, but there could be something else at play here.  I have heard my son getting directions, and he will swear up and down he never heard it, it started in 4th grade where he would insist he never heard a topic or skill that was taught, but his brother with the same teacher would say otherwise.  Last year, he received an ADHD diagnosis (he was borderline since we discovered the issue in 4th grade).  So, to him, he never heard it--even though I know it was presented!  It is very frustrating as there is no rhyme or reason to when he will miss things.  It actually does sound like some is playing a game, but it can also be that he is missing things--and probably very frustrating and confusing for him as well.
 
Oh, and we constantly get the "not me" or "I didn't do that" when I know he did.  I am starting to think that he actually has no recollection of doing some things--usually it has to do with messing with his brothers' Legos.  I think he just doesn't realize where his body is, and will mess things up, but they don't even register with him--so he really believes that he didn't do it.
 
Finally, it looks like he doesn't like to write, I would reconsider using sentences or writing a story as a punishment, it will only make him hate writing more.  A more effective punishment is to take away something he likes.

 

Typically we do disengage, just with these past couple of events I didn't know what to do.  I was just so shocked by this mentality, like if he really believes it it must be true for everyone.  Unfortunately the taking away all his fun stuff has already happened.  This kid lives in trouble, he just can't stop himself from misbehaving and back-talking.  I'm sure he's going to spend a lot of time in therapy as an adult and start hating us very soon - if he doesn't already.