Controlling sleep time

The twins have finally gotten on one nap. It took several months, but now, they seem to have a decent schedule. Problem is that their sleep pattern is very different.
DD can sleep 3- 3 1/2 hrs, sometimes she tries to go longer, but i always wake her after 3 1/2. DS naps usually about 2 hrs. So, since he sleeps less during the day, he seems to need more nighttime sleep.
They share a room (not for naps) and if i try to put ds to sleep before dd, he screams until i bring her in too. So, i have to put them to bed at the same time. In the am, i often hear dd up around 6:30 (sometimes earlier) but she is very good at staying pretty quiet since ds isn't up yet. DS often sleeps much later, usually 7:30 or even 8.
So, short of giving them their own rooms, i'm not sure if i should be changing something. DS usually says asleep after DD wakes up, but sometimes he is woken too early and gets very cranky. I know that 3 1/2 hrs is a long nap. Should i make DD's nap shorter so that she sleeps longer at night? But is that really fair to her?
Lately, i've gone in to get dd around 7 or so, and let ds sleep in longer. But i don't always catch her before she wakes up ds. But she usually stays really quiet until her brother wakes up, so unless i go in there and get her. She could be quietly playing for an hour and a half! Not sure if that is fair to her either.

How long is a typical nap supposed to be?
IDK, maybe its not really a problem, but it just seems like i should change something.

WWYD?

 

Can you separate them? I finally put mine is separate rooms and it lifted this gigantic weight off of my shoulders. It did not change much for them; however, I did not have to worry about every little peep and the timing of everything soo much. Although I guess it may be difficult for your DS to sleep in his own room as it sounds like he is a lttle attached to sleeping with his sister.

 

OK. I was just going to post something very similar. Ezra just needs less sleep than Elias. I feel so guilty because I have to put them to bed at the same time at night because Elias will just cry if Ezra isn't going to bed at the same time (kind of cute really). Ezra plays happily in his crib for usually about 45 minutes before he drifts off but I feel bad. I really should be hanging out with him during that time (but, oh my, I need that time to myself too). Ezra always wakes Elias up from his naps. I have no room to separate them though and, like I said, I don't think Elias would sleep without Ezra. Oh, and Ezra wakes up earlier too. I go in when he stops being happy and I always wake Elias up when I go in. I can't even check on them at night (which kills me) because Elias will wake up. Deep sigh. This isn't how I quite imagined motherhood - listening to my awake baby in a crib and not being able to watch them while they are sleeping.

 

Mine have different sleep needs too! DD needs less over all and DS like more (a man after my own heart! I LOVE sleep!)

What I do is keep them to a routine, so they know when its time for them to be in their cribs and for how long. I try not to go in and get them in the morning til at least 8 am, this works because even though DD gets up earlier, usually, she is content enough to stay put and play quietly, usually. DS will sleep later but I try to have him up by 8:30 so we can have breakfast by 9am. For nap time, we have lunch then move into the nursery to play for a few minutes, change diapers, nurse, etc...then they know its nap time. I usually leave the room by 12-12:30 (depending on when we had lunch) and they stay in their cribs til 3pm. Most days both of them are asleep by 1 or 1:15 some days they stay up til almost 2pm. If they are tired they sleep, if not, they stay up and giggle and trade stuffed toys back and forth between their cribs. I don't let them sleep later than about 3:45 no matter how long it took them to fall asleep. Bed time is around 7-7:15 and they are usually quiet to the point I THINK they are asleep by 8 (some nights later, depends) but I don't go in and check on them unless someone wakes closer to 11:30 or so, right before I go to bed. Some nights DD wakes before then, but I try to let her put herself back to sleep. I still nurse them once, sometimes not at all, during the night. And then comes the morning routine all over again!

HTH, that's just what we do around here most days at almost 18 months. aND yeah I know what you mean about DD up and being quiet for upwards of an hour and a half sometimes, but I think its good for them to be able to entertain themselves that way, not ALL the time, but if they don't complain, I'm sure things are going fine!