constant silliness - help!

Hi all!

I haven't posted on TS in a very long time. I went back to work full time this year. However, that decision was short-lived as we're expecting #4 in September, so I'll be finishing up the school year and then staying home with the kids full time again.

I'm hoping some of you 5+ year vets can help me. My twins are about to turn 5 and we have reached a stage that I'm finding incredibly frustrating. I'm really trying to have more patience, but my DS is driving me crazy. It is the CONSTANT silliness. Everything is silly - EVERYTHING. If I'm asking them about their day, DS will respond with some nonsensical phrase like "the moon is underpants." And then he will crack up laughing and not be able to stop. That makes my DD and other DS laugh hysterically too. And then it's impossible to get back to a normal, even reasonably silly conversation. If this happened a few times a day, I wouldn't mind and am able to be silly too. But it happens with everything. When I ask him if he wants milk or water, he either responds with something like "mooplejuice" or just laughs hysterically and doesn't answer me. I've tried removing him from the situation, sending him to time out, sending him to his room to collect himself, ignoring him etc. I have explained that sometimes we need to be serious and that if he's silly all the time that I have no idea what he needs or wants. The worst part is that when he starts, the other two follow. So, within seconds, I have three kids chanting nonsense. It seems to be worse at night. From the time we sit down to dinner until the time I get them in bed, it is a constant challenge to get them to eat, clean up, take a bath, get dressed, etc. Everything takes 10 times as long and I find myself saying things like "please take that spoon out of your ear" and "underwear does not belong on your head."

I feel like an awful mother because I wish I could enjoy the silliness and joy of being a child. But if I gave into it all, we'd never eat or bathe or get anything done. I love being silly. I love when they ask funny questions and I love when we can run around and pretend to be animals or aliens or whatever. But I don't know how to convey to them (really, DS since the other two rarely start the silliness) that we cannot be silly ALL the time. Our kids are incredibly well behaved at school, in public and for others. They are polite, sweet and caring. And when I observe them in social situations, they seem to communicate and play appropriately (something that doesn't happen at home because I can barely get a complete sentence out of them that doesn't end in hysterical laughter).

Anyone else go through this? Any tips? I know it could be worse and I feel like such a party pooper for complaining about silliness. I'm just exhausted and not finding it very funny these days.

Thanks for letting me vent and for any advice you may be able to offer.

-Catherine

 

Hi Catherine!

So glad to "see" you again! Fortunately, the sillyness is just a stage. One thing I would try is when he says something like "moonjuice" give him some orange juice mixed with another juice, and say, OK, here is your moonjuice. Just be matter of fact about it. He is trying to get a reaction from you, and he is by pushing your buttons. I would play along, but without laughing. Act like it is a perfectly normal conversation. Once he realizes that he can get your attention anyway, he will start doing it not so silly ways.

Good luck! (are you on Spring Break this week?)

 

Hi Sharon!

Thanks for your reply! I'm relieved that this won't last forever. I feel like such a scrooge for whining about my kids being silly. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out when I can't get a straight answer about anything.

The kids are on Spring Break this week, but my break from teaching was the previous two weeks. Are you guys on break now? I think of you whenever I drive 78 to PA

 

Yes, we are on spring break now, the kids go back on the 12th. Too bad it doesn't coincide. You can always call when you head our way

 

My DS does this when he is tired. He just gets slap-happy and giggles constantly and says and does silly things. Getting him to bed when he is super tired is extremely frustrating!

You said it was worse at night. Is he tired? Does he still take a nap? Does he do this when you know he is well-rested? If he is like my DS and just overly tired, maybe a change in his schedule would help. I know you are limited by work as to how much of a change you can make. But, maybe that gives some hope for when you are back home full-time again.

 

I wish I had an answer for this too as daily life around the Sanders household with our three active boys (8,8 and 4 1/2) are also filled with bouts of sillyness, especially around bedtime. Sometimes I wonder if we could experiment with a different diet to see if it affected their behavior? But I'm not sure how well we'd be able to get them to experiment with different foods, even if it's foods they should be eating anyway (and don't). I wonder if anyone has ever done research to see if certain kinds of foods help cut down the sillyness quotient. We pretty much know that too much sugar leads to hyperactivity. Are there anti-sillyness foods?

 

I don't have any suggestions, although Craig you may have hit on something. I know some kids are sensitive to anything with red dye in it. Lollipops, kool aid, jello, juices, to name a few. It's amazing how much stuff red dye is in. I can always tell when my kids have something with red dye. It's like instant sugar high, and out of control. Then when they crash from it they are super cranky and annoying (poking at others, or trying to provoke the other child). I used to be super diligent watching this, but slacked off....I think I need to go back to that.

 

I have a friend whose son is sensitive to red dye. But, my two get super silly and hyper when they have hit the tiredness wall and always have. It is like they know they are tired but do not want to sleep so they go into hyperdrive until someone (mean old mom) makes them stop and then (one anyways) they collapse almost instantly. Good luck.

 

We have cut red dye out of our diets completely. More for Joel than the twins, but we have seen a difference with Joel. He tends to get overly hyper. We go through the silliness too, especially at bedtime. It is sad, because I pretty much dread bedtime now, which I used to like. I figure it is a maturity issue and I hope they eventually outgrow it!

 

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate the responses - just knowing that I am not alone makes it better (although I don't wish the craziness on anyone else, of course!). Our children rarely eat red dye - but I will keep an eye out for their behavior after birthday parties and other outings. Cristina - I feel the same way about bedtime. It used to be my favorite time and now I dread it from the minute I walk in the door. I think I need to find some more patience and laugh a little more - that may be the only way we get through this

Thanks, again, for all the replies!