Constant crying for any little thing... wearing me down.

Hello ladies - I haven't been on here for ages but it's lovely to know that I can come here to get some help! Max cries (loudly) at anything - wanting his siblings toys, when I tell him he can't have something, the wrong t-shirt I get him to wear - at anything. And this crying and moaning can go on for ages and ages. It never seems to stop because the moment he stops about one thing, he starts again about something else. I have tried putting him on the stair step for time out but I have to stand over him - I have put him in a separate room - but then he cries when I take him out. I have put him outside the patio door. I have tried ignoring him. Really nothing seems to work. He is much worse with me than his dad. I have read the other thread re TO and maybe I could try strapping him in his booster seat. His crying just seems so excessive and am wondering whether it is normal. Would like to know whether you think it is normal and hopefully get some tips on how I can manage his behaviour. Thanks in advance.

 

I don't know if this will help but try giving him LOTS AND LOTS of positive attention for 3 days. I mean, like go overboard with hugs and kisses and kind words. See if it helps. It might. Keep us posted I'm sorry. That is really really hard to listen to. I know. BTDT! The positive reinforcement changed my kid!

 

How is his speech? Can you ask him what is wrong? Lately, my boys are into stealing each other's food during mealtime. Sometimes it's no big deal, but other days....watch out. One day when it happened I asked Jake what happened and he told me. I think for him, by me understanding why he was upset made the crying and screaming not last as long.

Same thing when he gets hurt which is a daily thing now that the weather is warmer. I'll make a big production out of his boo-boo and give it a kiss.

I think at this age all they want is to know we understand.

Another big thing at this age is to tell them to use their words.

 

My dd was doing something kind of like that. Well, she still does. But she just gets SO whiny! Like to the point you can't even understand her. So we started telling her "I can't understand you when you talk like a squeaky mouse!" And to my surprise, it's working!

 

We are working hard on getting them to tell us the problem too. They don't have great language skills yet and when they are upset it's harder, but we keep saying "Tell me in a nice bog boy voice. What's Wrong?" Honestly sometimes it's something like their socks are twisted. If the problem is something I can fix and I'm willing to fix, I gladly do it and tell them that it's so nice to help them when they tell me what's wrong. Other times they tell me quite clearly ("Cookie!" or "TV!!!") and I tell them no a few times and then just ignore it.
When it's over something silly like the chair not being in the exact right location for breakfast (mornings are hard), I let the crying go on for a while, if it gets really crazy I put the child in another room and tell him he can come back when he's finished. At some point when he's done I welcome him back warmly and we move on from there.

 

Thanks ladies. We are concentrating on getting him to use his big words to tell us what is wrong. And we are going to be consistent with putting him outside the patio doors (we can see him) for time out. We are trying to nip it in the bud by interrupting the crying and getting him to talk to us so he calms down quicker. Seems to be a little better the last couple of days!