Considering CIO - thoughts?

Ok, first of all, if you are fundamentally against CIO I totally respect that, but let's not turn this into a debate thread. I'm just trying to find out if NOW is the time vs later. I did CIO with my first at 4 months and it was a raving success, but things are quite different with my twins.

Here's the situation. My twins are almost 5 months. DH has had some trouble adjusting to being a parent of 3 kids, and one of the things that bothers him most is the middle of the night feedings. My twins go to bed around 6:30 or 7 (they have to be up by 6:30 am for daycare, so going to bed much later is not really an option); they fall asleep in their cribs on their own. My girl twin is generally up twice around 12 am and 3am to eat. She eats a whole bottle at 12am, but seems a bit less hungry at 3. She is up for the day around 6/6:30. If we let our boy twin wake up on his own (we often just wake him when his sister wakes up to preserve our own sleep), he will generally eat just once around 1am (eats a whole bottle) and then when he wakes up for the day around 5:30 or 6. Both twins eat every 3 hours during the day. We always offer them big bottles during the day, but typically they eat maybe 5 ozs (which is really annoying since I am EPing, but that's a whole other topic). They do go back to sleep easily after the night feedings, thank goodness. Not sure if this matters, but we are not yet feeding solids. SOOOOO...tell me the truth...is it too early for CIO? Is there anything else I could try? I do want DH to be happy and of course I would love to get more sleep too. Thanks and sorry for the long post.

 

For me, yes, it would be a bit too early at 5 months, I always waited until at least 6 months, but it's an individual decision. As long as my two seemed to be hungry in the night, I assumed they needed to be eating & I fed them. Once they stopped finishing their bottles & seemed to be waking more out of habit, we phased out the night bottles. Have you tried a dreamfeed before you go to bed for the night? Maybe it would help them sleep longer?

 

I will still feed if they wake, the reaason I do this is because if I let one CIO, they always wake the other and then I have 2 crying babies as opposed to 1 that I can quiet pretty quickly.

 

We did CIO for nightwakings at 5 months and it worked like a charm. But they had been regressing from sleeping a long stretch (7:30 pm to 5:00 am), to waking up 2 or 3 or more times during the night starting around 11 pm, sometimes for a pacifier insert, sometimes for attention or a very small drink, and would not go back to sleep easily. So we needed some tough love. It only took a few nights, and the longest they cried was about 20 minutes (actually, only one of them ever cried - the other one wasn't a problem). We got rid of pacifiers at the same time. Now they sleep from 6:30 pm to 6:00 am solid. CIO worked for me! By the time we decided to "go for it" I was so sleep deprived I was willing to try anything, and was fully prepared to let them cry as long as necessary.

 

We did a modified CIO and lost the soothers at the same time around five months. By "modified" I mean that I still fed then when I felt that they were actually hungry (I think we Moms know the hungry cry vs the "I don't want to be in bed alone" cry). My son was the toughest at first as he would cry and cry, even though we'd go in every ten to fifteen minutes to pay and say "It's time for sleep, Jacob" A few weeks later he learned how to suck his thumb and with that he dropped night feedings altogether and started sleeping through from 7ish pm to 6 or 7 a.m. My daughter also sleeps through although she usually wakes earlier around 5 or 5:30 a.m.

In our version of CIO we definitely tried not to pick them up unless we had to, and we gave then 10 to 15 mins to "work it out" on their own at first and then we'd go in to a) check/smell for poopy diapers, and b) give a few pats and soothing words before leaving and giving them some more time to self soothe. My kids were almost more agitated when we were in the room than when we weren't to be honest. I think that they both really benefited from us not rushing in to rescue them every time that they cried.

 

I have done CIO on one of my boys, he was a frequent night waker, didnt want to eat, he stopped waking for that at 9 weeks, but had to be patted or back rubbed back to sleep. It worked for William, but

IF they are still eating a full bottle once a night and finishing their early morniong bottles, I would think that they need the middle of the night feed. Maybe not twice like your DD though. The waking may change when you start solids. My boys are 6 months old, I started solids at 4 months they are now getting 3 meals a day and I have noticed a big difference in their night time sleep.

 

I am a fan of modified CIO, but not to eliminate night feedings. I feel like kids know when they are hungry, and when they aren't. If they are still eating those bottles well, then they probably still need them, especially since they only take 5 oz a bottle during the day. Mine were on 8oz bottles by about 3 months old or so, I'd have to check my log book to find out for sure, but mine also started sleeping through the night on their own around the same time frame.

I would suggest first, offering less per bottle, it may encourage them to eat more during the day. Or you can start watering it down, so it's not actually filling their tummies with food, which again should encourage them to eat more during the day. I also would stop waking your ds and let him wake naturally, doing the same thing of offering less or watering it down. I know it'll be a rough transition for you, having them waking up at different times, but I think if you wean them off the feedings at night, they'd probably sttn for you better

Something else to try is, when they wake up to eat, try to hold them off for an extra half hour or so. Insert paci's, lullabies, patting, shushing, letting them fuss a bit. They may just fall back to sleep on their own for an hour or more. That's what I do when my kids started showing signs of sttn and not needing those feedings. Now if they woke screaming in hunger, I fed them, but if I could hold them off just 15-30 extra mins for a few nights, then another 30 mins...etc it gradually got to where they were sleeping longer and longer.

 

4 months is still a bit too early. I think definately at 6 months (depending on their adjusted age). I was on holidays when my daughter was 8 months old and went to her not wanting her to wake up the house, then when we returned home I didn't want her to wake up the twins.... she is 14 months and I'm only now have finally decided enough is enough with the night feeding. I read in one book it is more the later part of the first year is the critical time. That sounds right to me. It isn't like I can't do it at 14 months it is just harder because they are more set in their ways.

I'd try the dream feed before you go to bed. Plus I'd feed both at the same time.

Heather

 

We did a modified CIO at 4 months, but not for food. Ours would wake and not be able to sleep or we'd lay them down and they'd fuss after a meal. As to CIO to eliminate feedings, we did it about a month ago at 8 months. The only downside is that it does not matter when they go down- they are up at 5, 5:30. After a full 10+ hours of sleep, I can't really deny them. So now we are all up EARLY.

PS- I had to hold my DH off, too. He was seriously missing sleep. :acute:

 

i support CIO but i think you have to balance your needs with your baby's needs. at 5 months those middle of the night feedings might still be necessary. only you can judge whether you're seeing real hunger or not.

we let our guys wake up for feedings as long as they needed to, but we were fortunate enough to have babies who didn't wake if they didn't need it. i know other moms have talked about babies who wake up more according to habit than hunger, and in that case CIO is probably a reasonable choice to transition to a new schedule. if you feel like that's what you're seeing, you can certainly give it a try.

if, however, you're doing it because DH doesn't like having to wake up to feed, maybe that's the wrong motivation.

 

At 5 months night feedings are often still necessary. I didn't do CIO to eliminate that last night feeding until 11 months. At that point I could tell they were just waking out of habit. They would wake, I would nurse them, and then they would wake in 30 minutes wanting more. If they seem hungry, I would feed them.

 

I did CIO with the twins at 4 months because I would have to rock them for a good half hour to get them down at bedtime and every feeding. I still fed once per night if they woke but would let them cry if they woke before 11 PM or after 4 AM (bedtime was 7). We introduced the dream feed at the same time and for the most part, that feeding got rid of the middle of the night feeding. DD started STTN as soon as we did CIO and DS figured it out about 1 month later. I think that its the right time for CIO any time you're comfortable with it.

 

My girls just turned 5 months old and we have been giving them cereal for almost a month now about an hour before there last bottle of the night. That has seemed to fill them up more to sleep through the night better. With my son I was more skeptic of starting solids that early but after the girls 4 month WV checkup she told me to start cereal and i was desperate to try anything to help them sleep better at night!!! They usually eat 1.5 Tablespoons of cereal at7ish and take there bottle at 8ish and sometimes dont drink there next bottle til 6 or 7 am. I also do a modified version of CIO. Its a different ballgame when you have twins! I unfortunately still get up a few times a night for each girl to put stupid pacifiers in their mouth!!