Confused--Do they "fall into a schedule" or do you as the parents set it?

My twins are 3 1/2 months old. I've heard from my pedi that they will "fall into a schedule" and I've heard this from others as well. Then there's all the books you can buy about putting your babies on a schedule. I've read them ALL (well, skimmed rather) and it just left be so confused. My twins eat about ever three hours, sometimes every two, they do typically fall asleep w/in 1.5 hrs. of waking, and the rest of their naps throughout the day are sporadic. Sometimes they nap for two hours, sometimes 1/2 hour. I usually transition them to the crib for at least one nap but they are otherwise napping in a bouncer or swing. Or they'll nap in the Snap 'n Go if I'm out.

So my question is: Do babies eventually set their own schedule that we the parents adhere to or do we, the parents, teach them how to stick to one? And finally, when can I expect them to fall into a routine anyways?

 

we kinda fell into one. mine are a little younger than yours, but adjusted. ive noticed they take a good, solid, deep sleep nap at 2pm. that will probably become the 2nd nap of the day once they settle into 2-3naps during the day. we go to bed around 7-8 every night, wakeup time varies from 6-8. things start to just fall into place slowly. mine are acting about the same age as yours, its just ive had them to care for a little longer so im recognizing things. im sure it might be a few more months before they are really on a predictable schedule. good luck to us! for now, im counting down the hours every day til bedtime! lol. i live nap to nap, its sad

 

Mine set the schedule once I learned their tired cries! Every 1.5-2 hours they went down for a nap starting at about 8 weeks old.

 

Mine LITERALLY made their own schedule. At 14 weeks adjusted, 19 actual, they chose a 6pm bedtime and it's been that way ever since. I never did any "training" or anything. They picked their nap times etc.. I do believe that they do fall into a schedule. They might need some tweaking by the Parent but for the most part, I do think it's a built-in thing.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but I never did CIO or anything. At 19 weeks, 14 actual, they BOTH quit waking up and STTN ever since!

 

I am another one that went by their cues. I fed them on demand and let them sleep whenever and wherever until about 4 months. Then they started giving me a predictable nap about 1.5 hours after they woke for the morning. We started doing a bedtime routine at about 2 months and gradually moved it back to something like 7:30. Then when they dropped the 3rd nap around 9 months they went to bed at 5:30. It was like that until they were about a year. They just could stay awake a minute longer.

 

I put mine on a 3-hr routine as the hospital was feeding them every 3hrs and they recommended it. However, at 4 weeks, they slipped into a 4-hr routine and it´s been that way ever since.

I have the Baby Whisperer book by Tracy Hogg and thats where I get my info from. I dont follow it exactly, rather use it as a guide and let my babies guide me too. It works well. It works on a basis of E.A.S.Y (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You), i.e. the babies eat then have some activity (she says 20 mins for 4-month olds, I think), then sleep and then you have some ´you´ time. Mine can´t take being up for more than an hour including feed so it really depends on your babies. Mine have always slept in their cots since the beginning too. A routine isnt for everyone, I know, but it works for us and helps when they cry as we usually know why, though not always! LOL!

Mine have just hit 4 months and they´re not napping so well now during the day. DS naps on and off but it´s harder for DD. If we miss her sleep window it´s a sure way to a meltdown. We give them a bath then bottle around 7-8pm and they sleep no probs. It´s amazing how they know it´s time to settle! We do give them one last bottle at 11.30pm-midnight and DS sttn till 7.30am and DD to 9am. I´m hoping to eliminate the last feed in the next few weeks though as I hate waking them then to eat.

It sounds as your babies are right on track. I know what you´re feeling as Im constantly wondering how much mine should be sleeping, etc. It´s not easy is it, but it sounds as though you´re doing a fab job

 

I think it's a little of both - you guide them to set their own schedule. You are the parent who knows what is best for your babies and once you learn what their behavior means - mine rub their eyes when they are starting to get tired and start to act clingy when they are hungry - then they sort of just fall into a schedule.

 

My babies, including my singleton, have always fallen into their own pattern. The only thing I have really taken from the sleep books is that babies are usually tired after being awake from 1-2 hrs. I try to use that as a guide, especially since one of our twins fights sleep often.

Other than that, all 3 of them have generally done what the sleep training books said they will do using their method without real effort on our part (other than soothing them to sleep when it's time). They sleep a longer stretch at night (at around 5-8 wks), then start taking a longer nap in the morning (at around 13 wks), etc.

I also don't do CIO, but I've always been able to get our babies down with pretty reasonable soothing.

And I've never had a colicky baby, so that could change everything.

 

The boys set their schedule from the beginning. The only alterations I have made are to keep them on the same one. Like feeding both babies when one is hungry as much as possible, or putting them both down when one is getting tired.

I never read any sleep training books. The boys take 2-3 naps for an average of 4-5 hours a day. They sleep from 7:30pm to 7am and have been STTN since 9w. And 90% of the time they go down 100% awake without a peep so I think it is working pretty well for us.

ETA: They fell into a predictable nap schedule around 3-4mo. Eating was pretty consistent from the beginning. The schedule changes itself from time to time. I just let them lead the way (which is so generally not me - I am a planner/scheduler by profession. )

 

Like most pp, mine have fallen into some sort of schedule (more of a routine) in the last month or so...and moreso because I've been able to decipher their signals and signs. Their eating habits have become more consistent too--during the first 3 1/2 months or so, things were all over the place since they were going through a lot of development being early, in my opinion. I am seeing a solid routine developing these last several weeks, though things are different every day.

I never read a book because I just though that they will tell me what they need, when they need it, etc...

 

The last month my boys have been on a better schedule. Im still reading HSHHC and that has really helped me. I wasnt being consistent enough but now the boys know that when I put them in their crib its time to sleep. I was always watching the clock but now I watch them for cues and that works. Mine did cry the first two weeks a bit because I used to be out and about and they would sleep anywhere but now I will only let them sleep in their cribs, they are much happier babies now. Good Luck to you!

 

My girls got put on a schedule in the NICU and it was way easier to stick with it than try to change it. It was nice at first, but to this day they still get up at 6am. Heh.

 

I went by my babies' cues, and they created a very predictable "schedule" in time. At 3-4 mo, they were always tired after 90 min awake at the most. Nap length was unpredictable, but often around 45 min. As a pp said, the only tweaking I did was to keep them eating and sleeping at the same time: if one was hungry, I'd feed both, and I put them down to sleep at the same time.

 

I did a schedule based on their tendencies then they "fell" into that schedule I provided for them. (clear as mud, huh!)

I think it si a combination of both. Being aware of what their tendencies are and working with that while doing soemthing that works for you too.
Good luck. I really believe that having a schedule really helps things a ton. For me, the schedule really happened at about 4 months and it made things easier until about 14 months when they started walking. 4 months to 14 months was the easiest time with twins so far, for me.