Confessions of a good mom

I have been thinking about all the things I wrote about mommy no no's or things we think are a no no anyhow. And I just felt like WOW, do I suck or what. But then I thought how we are all in the same boat. And....well, darn, this is hard work. Twins is HARD. No two ways about it. And in all of those things I don't do so well, there are a heck of a lot of things I actually do quite well at.

So here is a list of those.

1. I breast fed for 6 months

2. I made all my baby food

3. I cloth diaper my babies bums

4. I read to them every night before bed

5. I am IN love with them in a way that they must know and feel every time I squeeze them or love them.

6. I take them on fun outings and make sure they get out at least once a week.

7. I make them fun breakfast all the time. Lunch and dinner aren't as creative, but breakfast is always fun and yum. Today I made Banana Bread Oatmeal with vanilla yogurt sauce. It was incredible.

8. I sing to them and cuddle with them whenever they will let me.

9. I encourage them to do things and when they do them I practically have a party over it. I can tell they know this. my DD isn't walking yet but when she takes a step its a big production, and she smiles and beams.

10. I try to always offer them a happy smile even when I am not feeling the mothering that day.

There is no way I could love them anymore than I do. I do a lot wrong, and I struggle being a mom quite a bit, but there are a lot of good things as well. We should celebrate those things as well as share the things we aren't so great at right now. We are all on a path and a journey. We will get there, but its so stinking HARD!!!

 

Great topic! I'll give a list too, beginning with modifying some points from yours.

1. I pumped and fed them ebm for over 6 months.

2. I picked a loving, nurturing church to go to, specifically with the intention of raising children in that environment.

3. We go to playgroups and have been since they were under a year old, along with other classes.

4. I've been taking them to storytime since they were 10 months old.

5. I focus my time and attention on them and put off work (we were able to do this, otherwise I'd be working of course) so I could be a better mom. I was in love with my job AND I worked too much before (had to work a lot), but that's another topic entirely. So, I'm proud of us for allowing me to do this and for me to walk away from that when it was SO HARD TO DO.

6. I take them to neighborhood parks.

7. We go on lots of long walks, weather permitting.

8. I always try to be mindful that I'm raising these children to have good, healthy self esteems and am very conscientious of what I do/say to them (knowing, of course, I won't be perfect).

9. I'm smile, clap, cuddle them, even when I'm dead tired.

10. They are always at the forefront of my mind, in everything I do. I know I'm a good mom, even when it doesn't always feel that way .

 

:Clap: What a great idea! And you are right, you are a wonderful mom! Both of you!

Mine are a little older now...but even back then I:

*Noticed their own individual personalities and allowed them to develop as is

*Gave one to MIL on occassion so we could have a little 1:1 time (and grandma could, too)

*Allowed them to figure it out on their own, even when it took 20X longer

*Loved them both to the best of my abilities, more than I could possibly have imagined

*Gave them over to God as I know I needed to

*Do my best daily for their complete best in health, heart, and mind!

 

:clapping: Yay to all of us! :woman:

1. I breastfed my girls for 16mo!
2. I made their baby food.
3. I cook for them. This is big, I would do takeout, or mooch from my parents, or add-water-and-stir dinners, never cooked pre-motherhood! I try new foods with them, they will eat almost anything.
4. I have been taking them to music class since they were 10mo old.
5. I take them out a few times a week to parks, playgroups, shopping, etc. They are social creatures!
6. I encourage them but dont push them, I dont want them to grow up too quickly.
7. I dont think it is possible to love them anymore than I do, and dont know I could ever love anyone as much as I love them.
8. I hug them and cuddle them every chance I get.

 

Great thread!

1. I don't think anyone will love my children more then me. I know they are the coolest little people alive.
2. My kids are probably the happiest kids I've seen and I think that is a big part to the parenting that DH and I give.
3. I'm their biggest cheerleader. Their smallest achievements are a huge celebration here.
4. I tell them I'm sorry when I mess up.
5. I love to snuggle with them and love it when they want to snuggle with me.
6. I love to read to them.
7. No matter how bad a day is, a baby smile makes it alright.
8. I learn as much from them as they do from me.
9. I love seeing how much pleasure they take in the company of other people

 

Good idea!!

1. I bf and pumped until they were 12.5 months old - and I worked my butt off to get there.

2. I never scrimp on their bedtime routine, no matter how tired I am. 3 books, 3 songs, and rocking in the glider.

3. I tell them I love them and kiss them and cuddle them off and on all day long.

4. I take them out and about; the park, the library, the store, etc. at least 4x's week.

5. We visit my parents and in-laws and spend the night so they can spend lots of time with grandparents.

6. They are such happy little guys (as is our older DS) and I can't help but think we've done something very right with our boys!

7. I love them so much it really does hurt. They (and my older son) are my everything.

 

Great thread!

*I EBF for 9 months and weaned completely by 10 months and my girls would not take a bottle until they were 8 months so I never had a break. Every single feeding came from me for the first 8 months.
*I take what they eat and the habits they are forming very seriously. They count on me completely for what goes into their body and I don't take that lightly. They had jarred food once because it was in an airport and I couldn't get my food through security in a cooler. We eat organic, local, seasonal and I make 95% of it from home...fresh. It's a lot of work and I have to scrimp and save and get creative, but I do it because I do NOT want to be to blame for bad eating habits later or for feeding them things that are known to be toxic.
*I love them so much it makes me hurt sometimes. I absolutely love that my 15 year-old son is an amazing "man" with these girls...all of us...he is a care-taker, even through his moody puberty time right now. I'm proud of him.
*My DH and I work as a team and bust our tails to stay close to each other so we can have a stable home. It would be easier to fight for days sometimes...at least for me. I'm stubborn, but we never do - one of us always gives in - even if we have to flip a coin.
*We have done this with little to no help from family.
*DH travels for work and I'm often on my own for days at a time and I make it look easy to others...but, it's hard as HE!!
*My mom passed away when I was 10 (fluke allergic reaction to a medication - anaphylactic shock). I have no reference for how to do this...but I love these kiddies with every fiber of my being and having the twins (and being the age she was when she died...I was too young to realize some of this when I had my son) has made me realize how much she loved me and I really try to cherish our every moment together in honor of her. I try to be present (which means our house is a mess a lot and my social life is a ghost of the past) for them and if they need snuggling or love or just to be watched and laughed with....I do it. I'll drop almost anything to do it.
*I am very strict and try my best to be consistent, even when it would be far easier to just give in!

You ladies are all amazing and have taught me so much. THANK YOU! :friends:

 

What a great pick-me-up after the confessions thread! I'm exhausted, so I'll see what I can come up with before bed....

*I returned to work full time when the boys were 9 weeks old because my maternity leave ran out after my weeks of bedrest. Despite working 13 hour overnight shifts, I only allowed my boys in daycare for 6-7 hours a day, 2-3 days per week (it's now up to 9 hrs since they love it so much & learn a lot). I may stay awake 27 hours at a time and/or only sleep for 5 hours, but it's worth it to me to spend time with them.

*I never let twins hold me back. We were out shopping, alone, when they were 2 weeks old.

*I had no outside help other than my amazing husband & I think those first few months made us stronger!!!!

*I thrive on playdates. I love watching my boys interact with their 'friends' & getting extra adult conversation, too!

*I stare at my boys when they play. They play SO well together sometimes that I just sit back & smile. I love that they have each other.

*I pride myself in their large sign language vocabulary. It was an extra step before talking that we didn't have to take & I was so proud at how well they learned it! Now I pride myself in their vast speaking vocab...I must be doing something right to have such smart little guys !

*I snuggle them a few extra minutes at bedtime since it's the one time they share my lap nicely & let me. Then I stare at them while they sleep.

*My boys constantly want to be on my lap. 9 times out of 10, regardless of what I'm doing, I allow them to do so. If they want snuggles, they get snuggles!!!

*I 'think' I'm raising them to be individuals, yet a part of our family. I'm a firm believer in discipline & like that people comment on how well behaved my duo are (eh hem, at times).

*I love them with my entire being. I prayed for them & got more than I could've ever wished for!!!!!

 

Love this!

*I FF my girls, because I know that a happy Mom will have happier babies, and I'd rather we were all happy and well fed than struggling and hungry, and I know that FOR US (and for us only) that's what it would have been.

*I am ridiculously patient. I had to cultivate this, and I'm proud of how much patience my kids have taught me.

*I let all my kids (DSS included) that there is nothing, ever, that they could do that would make me not love them. Ever. I am honest enough to let them know that they might upset me sometimes, but that I will always, always love them.

* Lke Andrea, just above, I had no help other than my DH and we were out and about after a couple weeks as well. I say "Babies are portable".

*I stayed who I am. And I make sure my DH and I both get time to cultivate our OWN personalities and engage in our hobbies on our own. I think seeing this individuality in us will foster it in our kids. And with the older boys it already has to a large degree.

*And of course, I'm up for the cuddling, kissing, reading and loving like all the other PP's.

*I manage to still make 1-1 time with my older son every day, and with both him and my DSS on the weekends.

 

- My boys know they are loved not by how often I say it (although I still say it alot) but b/c of how I treat them.
-I take them EVERYWHERE with me, EVERY day.
-We go to the aquarium once a week to see their favorite fish.
-I tell them what every fruit/veggie they point to is in the grocery store even though people look at me like I'm crazy.
-My house looks like a day care center b/c I can not pass up on educational toys and go out of my way to find them on sale.
-I used to make most of my own baby food and those foods are still their favorites.
-Although I didn't produce much breastmilk, I worked my butt off getting them as much as I could for as long as I could.
-I take at least 10 pictures a day so I don't forget a single moment of their first years. I also promise to stop doing this as they get older as not to drive them crazy!
-I taught the boys sign language so they can communicate with me and they taught me some too!
-I have more patience now than I ever thought possible and it's all due to those sweet smiles, hugs and kisses!

 

Oh, these are making me cry. What a great thread! And perfect timing for #1.

1. I too breastfed my boys for 16 months - no pumping, no supplementing, and no family support.

2. I take my boys out EVERY DAY, usually to a park. They just happened to be born into a house with no yard which was our mistake so I do everything I can to give them the outdoor time they deserve.

3. I do all housework-laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, dishes after every meal- and my house is rarely a total mess.

4. I have managed to maintain a sense of style and not completely let myself go though many days, it's what I feel like doing.

5. DH and I still find time to make out at least once a week even though by the end of the night we are dead tired.

6. I've been diligent about teaching the boys things and I'm proud to say that they have more word in their vocabulary than I can count...hundreds!

7. I come from a family that is less than loving (to put it VERY politely) towards their children and I know in my heart that I will be the one to break that cycle.

8. I actually had a fantastic social life before kids and I gave up most of my friends to focus on my little ones.

9. Since becoming a parent, I've began a relationship with my father who I was not at all close to. He lived with us and to others we looked like the perfect family, but my mother convinced us that he was never around because he didn't want to be. I know now that he wasn't around because he busted his a#$ from morning until night so that my mom didn't have to work. I realized that when he returned home from a 15 hour shift he still used that time to be with us and I see in my husband just how difficult this must have been. On top of that, he did housework on his occasional times off. It's been very hard to get to know him all over again but I've done it so that my boys will know what a great man he is.

10. I love my boys so much it makes me nauseous sometimes. I never thought I was capable of feeling love like this and I make sure they know how I feel.

 

1. I must be a good mom, my mil and step mil tell me so.
2. I have taught my son to lie... He tells me, "Mom, I love you more than you love me". Impossible!
3. My children complete me. So cliche, but so true.
4. I breastfed all my children for as long as it was feasible.
5. I provide my children with everything they need to grow up into wonderful people. (Healthy food, loving family life, challenges, routines, story times, getting dirty times, cuddly times etc.)

 

Some things I've done right:

*I have two toddlers who are AWESOME sleepers, and that didn't just happen by accident, it happened b/c of my hard work! (and DH's)
*I have two toddlers who *amazingly* seem to listen when you tell them to do things, and who don't stand on the couch or in the bath tub! And that's not just by accident, it's b/c I'm a good mom! (of course they have their moments, but for the most part they listen when it comes to those 2 things)
*Even though sometimes I'd like to I have never left them with a babysitter - I don't feel comfortable leaving them with a stranger until they are able to talk. And I'm proud of that.
*I bathe them every day, even if it's just for some fun time after dinner and to sort of rinse them off. I don't skimp on their cleanliness.
*I brush their teeth every evening, I never miss. If they wind up with a cavity I will have a clear conscience!
*I have managed to diet and exercise and lose almost 80 pounds since my 6 week post-pardom check up. And it's not b/c I have a fast metabolism, it's b/c I bust my butt at the gym and diet. I actually weigh less now than when I got pregnant and feel like a cute, young mama!

 

Well,
I breastfed them almost a year, even though I hated it.
A lot of our food comes from our garden and freezing and canning, and I make my breads and yogerts.
I've lost 33 lbs!
I gave up a job I loved to be home with them, and can't wait to go back. But I know they need me home now.
In the first few weeks of the babies lives DH was still finishing our new house, so I did most of it alone. AND had to move out due to fumes for a few nights, and the heating system wasn't working right so the babies lived in snowsuits, and then the septic failed. DH doesn't even remember the Dr wondered why my blood pressure was high.
We read for an hour each evening, first the Bible, then another book (currently the LOTR series)

 

I thought of some more thanks so some others great mommy moments!

-I brush the boys teeth every night and will be brushing their teeth every morning soon.
-I am a single parent for about 1/2 of the year. DH deploys for 2 two month deployments AND at least one 10 day a month. I actually have a harder time when he is home then when I am alone as I have less laundry and dishes! :lol:

Thanks ladies! I needed this today!

 

i love my kids so much i tear up at least once/day because they are so dear to me (and i am a sap)

i pumped exclusively for five months, when one latched on. then i nursed him and continued to pump for his brother--to this day.

i got out of bed the minute the mag drip iv was taken out of my hand the day after the boys were born. i could barely walk but i made it down that hallway to the nicu in record time. NOTHING could stop me from seeing them (crying like a baby right now just thinking about it!).

i make lots of food for my babes and made some of their baby food, as well.

i take them out of the house at least once/day and generally two or three times.

when they are awake, i am w/them. when they sleep, i put them to bed. when they sleep at different times, i get no break. that's ok (for now).

i read whenever i have a free minute (or am pumping!) so i can learn as much about parenting (and sleep) as possible.

i am the best mom i can be--and when i'm not, i try to give myself a break.

 

QUOTE(cohlee @ Apr 13 2009, 07:00 PM) [snapback]1271745[/snapback]
:clapping: Yay to all of us! :woman:

1. I breastfed my girls for 16mo!
2. I made their baby food.
3. I cook for them. This is big, I would do takeout, or mooch from my parents, or add-water-and-stir dinners, never cooked pre-motherhood! I try new foods with them, they will eat almost anything.
4. I have been taking them to music class since they were 10mo old.
5. I take them out a few times a week to parks, playgroups, shopping, etc. They are social creatures!
6. I encourage them but dont push them, I dont want them to grow up too quickly.
7. I dont think it is possible to love them anymore than I do, and dont know I could ever love anyone as much as I love them.
8. I hug them and cuddle them every chance I get.

i think i noticed that you are a single mom? honey, that right there is a major accomplishment, as well!

~~jl

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Apr 14 2009, 08:07 AM) [snapback]1272356[/snapback]
*Even though sometimes I'd like to I have never left them with a babysitter - I don't feel comfortable leaving them with a stranger until they are able to talk. And I'm proud of that.


oh yea, me too! they've never been w/anyone who didn't share a last name w/me. i doubt they ever will be, either (we are going to move soon so we'll be close to lots of family members).

 

I have only one....I spend my days at work, supporting the family because we are all happier when mommy goes to work (in fact, Jake encourages it on a daily, if not hourly basis).


...seriously, here are a few things I'm proud of:

1) my husband is very available for them, we had a nanny for last 18 months, but daddy almost always handled breakfast/dinner
2) we are encouraging a lot of outdoor play and activity
3) we are doing a good job on food, not great, but good...trying to give them mostly organic and somewhat healthy (i still let them have hotdogs)
4) we don't have tons of rules, we allow a lot of freedom and encourage their indepedence..the flip side of this is they can open doors and were outside on the porch waiting in their stroller for daddy
5) we aren't focused on tons of milestones..we try to notice when they are ready for the next thing, but we don't push
6) they had no tv until 23 months and now we try to limit it to 30-40 minutes a day (unless the Mets are playing or mommy is home from work)
7) they are great self feeders


Nice thread

 

QUOTE(MamaKimberlee @ Apr 14 2009, 09:46 AM) [snapback]1272502[/snapback]
We read for an hour each evening, first the Bible, then another book (currently the LOTR series)


WOW! Dumb question, is the reading LOTR for the little ones, or your older kids?

 

Wonderful thread everyone! Its usually 'easier' to come up with things we feel bad about, but its so important to remind our selves of the things that we are good at.

1) I'm very proud of how well the girls listen and that they are social and happy kids.
2) I love that they have my DH and my wacko sense of humor.
3) I love that my girls love books. I read to them every night (except last night, tonight and tomorrow because I'm on a business trip- WAA!)... and I love that time together.
4) I love that my girls feel stable and loved. Life is predictable for them and DH and I try very hard because neither of us grew up that way.
5) Even though my heart skips a beat when they climb to the highest slide in the park, I'm proud that they are dare-devils like their daddy because I don't want fear to ever hold them back. I've actually overcome many of my own fears by watching them take a chance.
6) I'm proud that we eat well. Of course we have the occassional cookie or ice cream, but as a whole, I make sure there is good healthy food in the house at all times. It makes me feel good when DH asks them "Did you thank mommy for the yummy healthy dinner tonight?"
7) I love watching them interact with each other and with their toys- and see them mimic how I talk to them... except when they are yelling at each other "get over here RIGHT.NOW!" (note to self: work on not yelling so much)
8) I love how they have taught me about unconditional love. Thats not how I grew up, and even though DH and I have an amazing relationship and have been together over 10 years, I still feel insecure sometimes. But now I know what its like- our little 4-person family has unconditional love for each other.

I feel like there should be 10, but right now I only have time for 8. Great idea for a thread!

 

great thread!

1. I am still breastfeeding them....18 months and counting! I also made all of their baby food. We encourage a healthy diet, but slip sometimes, and I am ok with that!
2. I tell them several times a day that I love them, give them lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles
3. I encourage them to be independant, but not force it! We go with the flow, and when the accomplish something we make a big deal about it!
4. We get out of the house often, not everyday, but lots! They love to go shopping, errands and be in the car. The also love going on walks and bein in their wagon!
5. I am teaching them to clean up and overall they do well...I have big helpers
6. I turn every opportunity I can into a learning experience...counting, names of things, manners, and they do well!
7. I have raised them only with the help of DH. We count on one another only! I am lucky to be able to work around DH schedule so one of us is always with them!
8. When they need mommy time, they always get it. I feel that this bonding time is very important, and I want them to know they can come to me whenever thyey need me, no matter how old they are.
9. I spend one on one time with each of them every day, also ensure DH and I have at least one night a week with each other, no matter how tired we are! I also take tim for myself every day...I need the balance or things get stressful!
10. I love them with every ounce of me, I have days that are rough, and stressful, but holding them, cuddles and smiles make my day. I would not change a thing! I am the best mom that I can be and they know it

 

QUOTE(happychck @ Apr 14 2009, 01:31 PM) [snapback]1272581[/snapback]
i think i noticed that you are a single mom? honey, that right there is a major accomplishment, as well!

~~jl


I am a single mother, I didn't want to brag. But thank you, I think, in all honesty, that is my biggest accomplishment!

 

I love reading everybody's accomplishments! It's great to brag every now and then

-I love my girls so much and feel unbelievably blessed to have them in my life.
-For two months after coming home from the NICU, DH and I set an alarm for every 3 hours through the night to get up and feed the girls (doctor's orders, until they hit 10 pounds). Sitting up with them when it was quiet and peaceful were actually really special moments of bonding for me, even though I was exhausted.
-I pumped for them while they were in the hospital until I just couldn't keep up, this broke my heart but I knew I had done my best.
-I try my best to see them as individuals even though others do not always do the same. I must say, it gets easier everyday because even though they are identical, they are completely different.
-I absolutely love seeing them get excited about something or discovering something new.
-One of the best parts of my day is walking into their room at daycare and seeing them both smile and reach up for me. They are genuinely excited to see me and I LOVE that!

 

QUOTE(cohlee @ Apr 14 2009, 04:47 PM) [snapback]1273207[/snapback]
I am a single mother, I didn't want to brag. But thank you, I think, in all honesty, that is my biggest accomplishment!

it IS your biggest accomplishment! it's awesome. my hat's off to you (ok, so i'm not wearing one! but if i were...... ). you go, girl!

 

O geez...lets see what I can come up with

1. My girls are excellent eaters and self feed well

2. They are also awesome sleepers because DH and I have stuck to the same routine since they were born, except its only one nap now

3. I manage to stay on the Deans list at school and give all three of my kids attention and love everyday. It means a lot of late night studying, but its worth it!

4. I feel very accomplished to know that I have three little girls that are stable, well adjusted, and happy, when most girls my age are still out doning their own thing.

5. I also watch them sleep, and think about how fast time is going. It makes my heart ache just to think that soon I will have no more baby feet running through the house.

6. I love all of my children with every ounce I have, and they all know it without a doubt

 

QUOTE(akameme @ Apr 14 2009, 01:46 PM) [snapback]1272606[/snapback]
WOW! Dumb question, is the reading LOTR for the little ones, or your older kids?


Oh Please, no - it's for the older kids, but the little ones are there! (Most of the time!) But seriously, I am all about reading above their comprehension level - it stretches them verbally and conceptually. We've already read the Narnia series twice, once when oldest DD was 3, again when she was 7.

Honestly, the babies don't get ENOUGH time with me reading them baby books. Although it doesn't help that they have shredded them beyond repair like little gerbils!

 

wow, everyone should be proud of themselves! :wub:

1. i bf-ed for 2 months, then pumped the remainder of my girls' first year
2. i read to my girls every day before nap and bedtime (and anytime in between that they bring me a book)
3. my girls LIKE to try to accomplish new things because of the cheering adn clapping i do when they do it
4. the only "frozen" food my girls get is french toast sticks. i cook most of their food from scratch, because that's how my mom did it, and i credit her for my family's good health
5. when the girls were 8 weeks old, i kicked all help out and insisted i do it myself. i didn't mind teh occasional help here and there, but i was blessed with two babies because i could handle two babies. and i survived!
6. even tho i've done CIO (and still do at times), i didn't want to in the middle of the night when they were 7 months old (like the pedi told me to), because i knew they'd figure it out on their own, and sure enough, two weeks later, they did
7. my girls are smothered wtih kisses and hugs all day from me, and they have learned to love and hug and kiss (and do it to EVERYTHING now lol)
8. i love that my girls are hams like dh and me
9. i watch them play and interact, and am so amazed at all the things they can do
10. i am teaching my girls to pick up after themselves, to share, to put shoes, coats and hats away, and they do a great job!

 

Great posts, everyone! Here are mine.

1. I pumped exclusively for 10 months for K&K, after running into so much trouble with breastfeeding. It never seemed like enough, but I did everything I could while still keeping my sanity.

2. I deal with all of Kevan's developmental/health issues -- and he has a LOT -- without freaking out. I am always striving to get him as much help as I can. Right now that means at least an hour of therapy every single day.

3. I'm adamant about making sure my kids are well-rested, well-fed and clean.

4. I strive to feed them healthy food -- we do a lot of organic stuff, and I try to avoid preservatives, trans fats, artificial colors, etc. But, I also don't worry about the occasional junk food or fast food. All things in moderation...

5. Here is my biggie -- I have one advanced kiddo, one delayed one, and one who is somewhere in the middle. I am super proud of all of them, and recognize that their nature-given abilities have nothing to do with my worth as a mom!