comparing....

my boys are 5 months 2 weeks old they can rollover front to back, back to belly. hold their heads up high off the ground, move their legs in the crawling position, smile CONSTANTLY, coo and try and talk occassionally, grab toys ONLY when on their backs and that are dangling infront of them on their playmats and laugh really loud when given enough prompting....however....they cannot sit up unassisted, they try and escape from their bumbo seats everytime you try and put them in them, they cannot do pushups to grasp the crawling thing - although they have learned to push their butt up in the air and move their legs, they cannot grab at toys infront of them since all they want to do is shove their hands into their mouths. they don't talk a lot and just seem behind the curve.

now i know they are a full 5 weeks premature and i should NEVER compare them to full term singletons BUT i have friends with singeltons (full term) that started cooing and lauging at 2 months, sitting unassisted at 3-4 months, crawling at 5 months, talking at 6-7 months and walking at 9-10 months....it makes me think i am doing something HORRIBLY wrong with my kids.

does it sound like my kids are acting like regular (full term) five month olds or do they seem "behind the curve"??? when did you LO's start doing these things and how premature were they?

now i know they are happy and healthy, 14+lbs, over 26 1/2" long, and smile everytime they look at your eyes but still, its the mental development i am worried about. i try and encourage them to grab at things while on their bellies but they just want to shove their hands in their mouths (MAJORYLY teething i should mention).

so what, if anything, am i doing wrong???

 

It sounds like they are fine. Babies do things in their own time. Try to enjoy this time while they are infants b/c it goes by way too fast.

 

Sounds like they are doing just fine to me. My girls came full term and they didn't sit up until 7 months, didn't crawl until 10 months, and didn't walk until 13 months. My oldest daughter on the other hand was very ahead of schedule and sat up and crawled at 5 months and was walking by 10 months. It took me a while to realize that all babies are different but I finally did and it has made things alot easier on me. Even identical twins are very different.

 

They sound fine. I think the average age for sitting unassisted is 6 months, and that's average, many babies don't sit even that soon!

 

One of my twins just sat and crawled yesterday. The other one is close behind her. They'll be 9 months on the 16th...

 

Wow! Are you sure your friend's baby isn't Superman?

JK.

Um.. your boys are doing GREAT! For some reason, I never worried about how soon mine did stuff cuz I knew that they eventually would do it. Try not to worry about it. They are doing just fine and will be running around the house before you know it!

 

I agree, all babies are different, even full term ones. I know its hard, because you worry that something might now be right developmentally. I think any mom who's had a premature baby worrys about that. I know its on my mind. I am always comparing both of mine to each other. The bigger one is (in my opinion) doing more things on target with her age. So I worry about the smaller one. It sound like your LO's are doing great

 

Your friends are either 1) lying, or 2) all have extremely advanced babies. Talking at 6-7 months? Really? Not just making sounds? I don't buy it. Walking at 9-10 months is not unheard of, but it's on the very early end of normal. Sorry, I don't believe sitting at 3-4 months either. Crawling at 5 months is also very early.

Your babies are fine, please don't worry.

 

Mine are the same. They started to sit well unassisted between 7 and 8 months and now they both started to crawl about a week ago and it's not fun. One bumped his nose (and has a nice bruise on it) on a wall corner when he was trying to climb it and the other one did the same thing while trying to climb on the tv stand. Now the tv is on the wall and I'm constantly watching them because they want to climb on everything and they go in different directions. So, they will catch up, don't wary. I used to wary when they will do this and that, because my sister was telling me that her babies (singletons) set unassisted at 5 months, but now I'm fine. They had a lower birth weight and I'm thinking that they needed more time to grow before starting to do things. I really can't compare with some of my girlfriends who had 9-10 pounds babies, while mine had only 5-6 pounds and they reached 10 pounds at 1.5-2 months.
So, don't wary. If they roll and they're active they should be fine.
And they don't "talk" either, like real words. They are noisy, making all sorts of sounds and the only thing they say it's something that sounds like "dada" and is not directed to their father.

 

I agree with Snittens ... I have four kids and have been involved with a number of playgroups, Kindermusik groups, Little Gym, etc. over the last five years and I've never heard of or seen a baby that sits unassisted at 3 months. Your babies sound like they are just fine!

 

You know the range is so so broad. Pedi says they don't start to even question anything unless babes are 17 or 18 mos and not walking. Your friends babies do sound like superbabies - sitting unassisted at 3/4 mos? That would look shocking to me and I'd have to see it. We didn't turn over until then. Actually, I do know of a little 4 month chub that can, because his chub won't let him fall...heh heh...you just kind of mold him into the position you want him in...so cute. I have an LO who just started her first steps last week but my other isn't even close. Still, my almost-walker didn't even sit up unassisted until 7 1/2 mos and crawl until 8 1/2 mos. Once she started doing things it happened rapidly, shocking me to death. HOWEVER, I cannot get this girl to land on any chart for weight and we barely make it for height, and that is of constant concern for me as I see all these chubby babies. And we were full term without 1 day in Nicu or any complications. She is a little bird. I cannot keep the calories in that girl. She has her own curve. I am more concerned about that than if she is waving bye-bye yet, and it sounds like yours are very healthy. But I know the grass is always greener. My other one is WAY behind her and I spend most of my time trying not to pity and overprotect her from her frustration, because that is fuel for learning. But her style is to observe observe observe and then one day, boom, she crawled on all fours across the room instantly...just last week in fact and we turn 10 mos this Sunday. So you are in for a fun ride to witness how your boys will do things. Try not to take those "curves" to heart. Each child is just so so different.

I do have to say - I know what you mean about feeling bad sometimes - I have friends who love to discuss development with a competitive edge...annoying. I do think it is important to celebrate accomplishments as they happens, but there is no need to compare...simply no reason for it. Those charts are simply guides. My favorite is when they take personal credit for the accomplishment. You can interact with your kids, but they are going to do things in the time they do them and you may be able to help a little but you certainly cannot force it. I love the book Juggling Twins - she addresses this a little and makes the point that when kids start kindergarten there is not an application that says one crawled at 6 mos vs. 11 mos so they must be smarter. Remember, although parents are proud when kids hit milestones early, hitting them later is not a sign of lack of intelligence...absolutely no truth to that, not at all. It sounds like you are doing great and they are very cute!

Sorry - I had to edit this to tell you that if you want to do something that will have considerable effect in the future, read to them. Read, read, read. It IS important. You may not think they are getting anything from it but start now and you will be so happy you did.

 

I totally agree with this. Very rare to find a baby doing these things this early, it CAN happen but it's not the norm.

My oldest was born at 36 wks (5.13 lbs). He didn't roll over until 5-6 months old, didn't sit until 9-10 months old, didn't crawl until 10 months and that was army crawling, and didn't walk until 13 months.

My oldest dd was born at 39 wks. She didn't roll over until after 6 months old, didn't sit until 10-11 months, didn't crawl until 11 months and didn't walk until 15 months (9.12 lbs).

Twins were born at 36 wks (DD ~ 7.2 lbs, DS ~ 6.4 lbs). Both rolled around 4 months old, Liam started army crawling at 6 months, started pulling up at 8 months, sitting around 9 months, real crawling at 9.5 months and he's not walking. He's babbling but no talking yet. Rylee didn't start army crawling until 8 months, sitting around 9 months, and just started pulling up to standing at 10 months. She's still not real crawling, and she also babbles.

 

thanks everyone for the encouragement and support, i really appreciate it.

i know you should never ever compare, especially with preemies, but when other mom's are constantly going on and on about how quickly their full term (and often 2 week late singleton) is progressing it makes it hard to not think that your child is falling behind in some way or another.

so thanks

 

I think your babies are doing great! My twins are 10 months old, 7 months adjusted and just in the past month have been rolling from back to front and front to back. Noah is actually "crawfishing" and trying to crawl forward, but Jaxon is not there just yet. We have ECI for Jaxon since he is legally blind and he has OT 3 times a month which has helped him tremendously - he's had lots of issues that I won't go into right now, but ECI is astounded at how well he is doing. Just continue doing what you're doing mama - tummy time, tummy time, tummy time and they will get there in their own time. Good job!

 

Why does there have to be such a competition between moms is what I always asked? Some moms want their kids walking and talking as soon as they come out of the womb it seems. It's not reality.

I could have said that my early babies (36 weeks) were sitting up, but I would also have had to mention that I was fully supporting them. I could have said they were talking, but I would have also needed to mention that those conversations were in my dreams.

You can either let "stretching the truth greatly" moms make you feel like your kids are delayed for the upcoming years or you can take the knowledge and expertise you get from your pediatrician who knows your kids and the milestones they need to achieve and enjoy the time you are having versus constantly evaluating and questioning everything.

My response to these types of issues finally became - Unless the pediatrician tells me it's a problem, then as far as I know, my kids are developing appropriately.

 

Seriously, it seems rare that we as mothers do not encounter this all the time and your attitude is a great one to have. I have a friend I am constantly coaching through her worry. It is the competitive world we live in. It is nice to have a place of support like this forum because it is truly "supportive" and I don't get that sense from other forums I have dabbled in.

 

I agree!! My last singleton was very late at everything and finally at 18 months is walking, do not worry, they all do it on their own time! In my last daughter's case she is stubborn and won't do anything til she wants to, some kids are like that. Your boys sound perfect!!!

 

I agree! The most important part about development is that the babies progress over time. I can guarantee that your boys do more than they did a month ago and they are probably doing new things every day. I am a pediatrician (shhh don't tell anyone) and I have NEVER seen a baby sit unassisted at 3-4 months. Mine will be 7 months next week and they still aren't sitting and I am not stressed because they are getting closer every day. As for playing with toys, mine started to grab purposefully and play with toys about 6 months...at 5 months they were still batting at them like yours do. Also, some babies never crawl and its not a "required" milestone. Many will go straight from rolling to cruising or develop some sort of scoot or army crawl to get around. Don't stress about what they are doing, enjoy the developmental stage they are in now because it will change soon enough and you will blink and before you know it they will be going off to school!

 

Ditto to all the mums here. I had my first do all the 'early things' - she was sitting unassisted at 4mths - for about 10secs at a time, but by 5mths she was totally unassisted, she crawled betwn 5-6mths, pulled up/stood on own at 7mths and walked at 8mths. She is a strange child - my own child and I admit it! LOL She was and always has been a child to do things early - then she plateaus and waits for the rest of her crowd to catch up. My 2nd and 3rd were 2-3mths behind her milestones - they were 'NORMAL'! LOL The twins are 4mths and have JUST learned to roll both ways and lift their heads while on tummies.

Every child is so different - that is why there IS a curve. You may also find that they will concentrate on something physical for awhile, then they'll plateau and concentrate on vocalizing. Then they'll plateau and concentrate on intellectual (ie - out of sight isn't out of mind concept).

When I was reading what your duo is doing I actually thought that they're AHEAD of the curve being that they were 6wks early!!!