Codie

I saw your update on Facebook and I know you may not see this for awhile, but I wanted to let you know that your TS family is sending our love. I hope you find some relief and emotional healing. We're all pulling for you, dear.

 

hugs

 

Absolutely.  We love you, Girly!!

 

Thinking of you Codie!! :hug:

 

I have often thought about her, hope she is ok, I don't know her facebook so I have no idea whats going on??

 

She's having some serious withdrawal symptoms from her medicines and has been admitted to a facility to help her.

 

Praying for you!!!

 

Codie, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Wishing you all the best :hug:

 

Good luck, Codie! I am thinking about you.

 

You are a strong woman, Codie! You can do this! You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have a lot of people pulling for you!

 

You are in my thoughts Codie! :hug:

 

I'm Codie's twin, I just wanted to let you know that she is doing better then she was when she updated her facebook status the other day. I know she appreciates all of your support and I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words about my baby sister!

 

Thank you for the update! We are thinking of her! xoxo

 

Thinking about you, Codie! :hug:

 

Thank you for the update Chloe!! Please let her know she's in our thoughts!! *hugs*

 

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, it means so much to know that you were all thinking of me and sending well wishes. As Bex explained for those not on my Facebook I was coming off methadone and oxycodone as they had really started to effect my memory and thinking abilities etc (equivalent to 225mg a DAY of oxycodone) while on a ketamine infusion after having my 11th surgery, in a week and a half I'd gotten off the methadone and was down to about 30mg of oxycodone a day, at that point I could really feel the extent of my pain and how much the meds actually worked (considering I had been saying they were doing nothing for months!), because I wasn't sedated as much I could really think about the events of the past few years, I had found out some information about the surgery which really caused the damage,I was away from my main support and just felt like dirt! This combination caused me to become very suicidal as in my head I came to the conclusion it'd be easier to just jump off the verandah of my hospital room than keep going through this.

Thankfully I was on the phone with mum and she told me to tell my nurse, at that point I accidentally pulled the cannula out of my hand, so as I am stressing my pain levels escalate quickly because of stress and the fact my body had a sudden drop in a high level of ketamine, I was given seroquel to try to calm down and spent ages walking around the ward to distract myself, took them until the next morning to get a new cannula, my pelvic pain specialist spoke with the hospital psychiatrists who instructed him to move me to a high dependency unit with one on one assistance with a special so I couldn't hurt myself I wasn't allowed to be left alone.

The goal was to be off all pain medication, only using one I have for nerve pain, unfortunately I left hospital on Thursday on versatis patches and temgesic, thankfully both are non opioid medications though!

 

Yay yay!!! I'm so glad to see you again.

 

Codie! So glad to see you in here! How are you coping? Sending so much love!

 

I hope you are doing okay today, Codie. Thank you for the update! How is it going back at home?

 

Thank you Bex and Steph! Honestly not well, my pain is so out of control I want to cry so bad! I've taken some mersyndol, temgesic, gabapentin and some seroquel in the hopes it'll take some of the pain and allow me to sleep. I've decided I'll give this approach until the 11th when I go see my gp next and if things haven't improved I'll be telling her that she and my pelvic pain specialist need to come up with a different strategy! (I'd call him myself but his not doing the clinic I see him at this year so I'm unsure of who I'll be seeing this year until March when I go for my follow up, I'll request to see him next year when he goes back to it next year as his done so much for me) I've been using cbt, the heat pad, hot bath/spa, breathing and distraction as my main tools to avoid taking meds, $5 a patch (lasts 12hrs, can only be used for 12hrs as the body can only handle 12hrs max a day) really makes me want to not use more than one a day, I can feel two working better than one, I can use a max of three a day, I straight out refuse and will suffer in pain, even the temgesic works out between $38-$50 depending upon where I buy it for 50 pills, it's so expensive! I feel so guilty, I shopped around and will only be buying them from one pharmacy $150 for 30 patches verses $180+ so every 10 days I'll spend almost $200! $5200 a year for two of my meds is outrageous, I have about 12 other medications that I take, most multiple times a day so I don't want to think about the cost involved for them! I know I shouldn't feel guilty about it but do!

 

Hang in there Codie and don't feel guilty about the cost. We are all rooting for you. I hope the pain gets under control soon.

 

Thank you Aimee, it has been a difficult day, I've tried everything I can think of and it has done nothing, I'm struggling! I really don't know what to do. It's so good to be out of hospital but unfortunately can't really enjoy it due to how much pain I'm in.

 

Thank you lovely! I'm trying, which really is all I can do right? It's so hard not to, my parents are paying for it, they say don't feel bad I need it, it's costing them enough already without adding this! They have to come up with $5500 to pay for an expert to look at my medical reports and write a report for my lawyer. Another thing I feel guilty about. I'm 22, this whole thing is ridiculous just want to be normal! I know and really appreciate it! I hope so too, I don't know how much I can take.

 

Oh Codie, I am so sorry you have to go through all this. I hope they can come up with a solution for you. Hang in there - you are so strong, you can do this!

 

:hug: Codie, I appreciate you taking the time to update.  You are one tough cookie!  Do not feel bad about the costs of the medicines, your parents want to do all they can to help because they want you to be well.  I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time with the pain and your feelings.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

 

(((((((codie)))))) I hope that something gives for you very soon. You are right you should be able to enjoy not being in the hospital or being in pain. And none of this is fair, no one should have to deal with any of the things you are having to go through. Your parents love you so much allow them to get the meds, and don't feel guilty. A parents duty isn't up when you turn a certain age. As parents they want you to be well and happy. And you don't need to bother yourself with guilt. You are a beautiful woman in a lot of pain who has some great people around her to help. Now if they would just find the right things to help you. I'm so sorry your surgeries keep getting messed up. I am keeping you close in my thoughts.

 

Thank you Monica, I really appreciate the support I have received, it definitely helps to hear that sometimes!

Thank you Nancy, I feel slack for taking so long to respond, things are not going well, I'm not sleeping well, pain is out of control, medications are not helping and I feel like I'm going crazy! I know, it's just so hard not to, I just wish I didn't have to cost them even more money, losing my independence is definitely the hardest part of all of this (besides the pain obviously). I know they would do anything to try to help me, I appreciate it more than anything and am very lucky to have parents who are able to help me. If it wasn't for them I'd have had to default on my personal loan, bills and wouldn't have the medications I need etc. Thank you lovely, I really appreciate it!

Thank you Kim, I really hope so as I'm struggling to deal with the pain, it's effecting me psychologically that on the 11th when I see my psychiatrist I'm going to be asking for a increase in my antidepressant as it's becoming to much to handle! My anxiety is out of control, I can't sleep and I feel so depressed, it's horrible. Have been out of hospital 10 days and haven't been able to enjoy one day of it, I have another infection in the spc sight that's causing more pain, I refuse on principle to go to the hospital so am hoping my gp will be in the office tomorrow so I can get antibiotics faxed to the pharmacy, hopefully it'll lessen the pain a little bit. No you're right, it isn't fair! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! I know they do and as I said above, I'm very lucky that they're able to help, I know but from the time I moved out I was independent, was for two years and feel like at 22 I shouldn't have to rely upon my parents, it's just the way I am unfortunately. Losing your independence is very difficult to accept. You're right, I'm very lucky to have such a great support network, a lot of people going through this sort of thing don't have that. I'd give ANYTHING to have them get it right and better yet fix it! Thanks again, I really appreciate it!