Co-Sleeping (in the Parents' Bed)

Did anyone do this after age one? How did you transition out of your bed? Tell me all about it!

I have one who sleeps half of the night in our bed, the other doesn't sleep in our bed at all. Two very different people with different sleep and comforting needs. I kind of want to move Jacob out of our bed, but on the other hand, I have to admit I love the nighttime cuddles, especially since he's my more independent boy during the daytime. I also LOVE being woken up by him tugging at me, giving me kisses, and yelling "Ma!!!!!". I don't really feel guilty that only he sleeps in our bed, as Jackson sleeps very well on his own and is very independent at night. Jack is more demanding during the day, so I feel like it kind of evens everything out. Even so, I'm afraid this will be really hard to break if I don't do it soon. Any thoughts? Is it already too late?

 

I think some people have very strong opinions about co-sleeping.......but the way I see it, if it's not bothering you or your SO, it's fine. My ds wanders into our room every morning about an hour before his sister wakes up & cuddles. He's also the one who wakes up in the middle of the night, upset & wanting to sleep in our bed. They grow up too fast & I figure I only have so many cuddle times left!

I do have a harder time sleeping, though, if one of them is in our bed. So if I can, once they're asleep I'll put them back in their bed.......they're going to have more fun the next day with a mama who got a good night's sleep. Plus, dh needs some cuddles too!

My sis had a really hard time moving her ds to his own bed. She got him a bigger size, though (twin instead of toddler) b/c she realized he's a "roller" and likes to move around......the bigger bed helped.

 

We moved our twins out of our bed when they were 10 months old. My dd was just too wriggly and would wake me constantly - otherwise we would have let them stay with us longer. They had been taking naps in their cribs for a while to get them familiar with it. Fortunately - we were able to fit both cribs in our room - and we had it that way for a month. They actually did quite well - the first week was maybe a little tough for our ds (he's a mama's boy). I was nervous about moving them to their own room (together) but after doing it - wish we had done it sooner. I didn't sleep very well when they were in the room with us - our dd has a habit of waking up and rocking herself back to sleep on her hands and knees - kinda strange and it wakes me up. But once they were in their own room - they slept much better - as did I. I also felt better knowing they were together. Do yours nap in their own cribs? It might take a week or 2 for Jacob to adjust - I'm not a believer in CIO - I responded whenever someone cried - I just tried to avoid picking them up out of their cribs - just comforted them and rubbed their backs and talked to them. The transition in our house was smoother than expected! Good luck!

 

If it's not broken, don't fix it If you're looking to get them out, here's what we did with our big ones: We started the night in their own beds, I would lay down next to them until they fell asleep (sometime between when they were one and 1.5). Eventually we transitioned into me being able to leave them while they were still awake. They would come into our bed in the middle of the night. When that got tiresome, we would just redirect them to their own beds, and lie down with them if necessary. They got it eventually

 

Both of my girls sleep with us and sometimes I wish they would sleep in their own beds but they grow up so fast. My oldest dd is almost 12 and she slept with me until she was 5. That seems like it was so long ago and she seems grown up now. The only thing with my girls sleeping with me is that I put them their hoping they would sleep better and sometimes they sleep worse. They wake up in the middle of the night just to look for me so they can snuggle. It does get a little hard when they are both wanting to snuggle, but for now this is what is working for us and it will stay this way.

 

Out of curosity - when the kids are sleeping with everyone, where is your SO? Our son use to try to get in our bed - took us almost a year to break him of the habit - the girls are 2 and stay in their crib and will remain in their crib until they crawl out - we will not let them sleep with us. I love to cuddle with them but do so during the day - they and we need our sleep.

 

QUOTE(Debbie F @ Jun 13 2008, 09:22 AM) [snapback]824882[/snapback]
Out of curosity - when the kids are sleeping with everyone, where is your SO? Our son use to try to get in our bed - took us almost a year to break him of the habit - the girls are 2 and stay in their crib and will remain in their crib until they crawl out - we will not let them sleep with us. I love to cuddle with them but do so during the day - they and we need our sleep.



We have a king size bed. My dh sleeps on one side and then the babies in the middle and I sleep on the other side.

 

doesn't your hubby mind? When do you get the chance to be "alone" with him? My son has been sleeping on the floor on a mattress in our room all week because our air broke and we only had 2 window units - he is there until the AC is fixed (which should be today - we needed a whole new unit) - This is driving my husband nuts because he feels we have no alone time and my son isn't even in our bed!

 

C&C sometimes come into our bed in the middle of the night. We'll move them back into their bed sometimes and other times we'll just let them stay (depending on if DH get's kicked). Either way, they wander into our bed around 6am.

I don't have a problem with it right now but I know they'll come a point when they'll have to stay in their bed.

 

I cannot have them sleeping with either of us in our bed. My husband and I would never get a full night sleep! However, they can climb when they get up in the morning, if they are sick or if there a thunderstorm. However they both MUST go back to their crib/bed if they ever try to attempt to stay in bed with us.

D, w/Rianna and Justin

 

I don't co-sleep, but I just had to comment ... My DS sleeps so well through the night ... we put him down at 7pm and never hear from him again until 630 or 7am ... DD on the other hand, wakes occasionally at night ... she had an ear infection, so I think it had to do with that ... anyway, we always bring her in our room to calm her down and give her motrin ... also so she doesn't wake up her brother ... and me and DH always look at each other and say "Oh let's keep her here ... She's so cuddly!!" ... Like Erin said, she is my independent one during the day, so its so nice to cuddle with her ... I can totally get hte allure of co-sleeping ... but since we've never done it, I wouldn't start now!

 

Since no one else has really given any transition tips--we transitioned them into a twin size bed. That way when we put them to bed--I laid down with them in their bed, once they were alseep, I'd get up.

 

We co-slept with the twins in our bed until they were 18 months. Then we put a big mattress in the kids room and took turns co-sleeping in the kids room. Weekdays, I slept with the kids and weekends, my DH slept with the kids.

At 2, I started to put them to sleep by lying next to them but then would go sleep in my own room once the kids fell asleep. If they got up in the middle of the night, they would come into our bed, which was ok since they usually slept through the night until around 5:30 am.

But I got really tired of putting the kids to sleep like this. When they were about 2 1/2 years old, I started to put them to sleep by being in the same room, but not sleeping next to the kids. Then I gradually moved closer to the door. Then finally, I was outside of their room but sitting just behind their door. Then, they were finally ok just going to sleep by themselves. The whole transition process took about a month.

On the one hand, that transition month was pretty darn hard. But on the other hand, we never had to CIO and we only had to do the transition once. (As opposed to other families who had to CIO many times every time the child got ill, traveled to grandma's house, etc.)

With the new baby, we won't be co-sleeping on a regular basis. I did enjoy the cuddling and bonding with my twins and really liked it while it lasted. But we never co-slept out of choice, it was always by necessitiy. And now, I'm too comfortable to give up my big bed to my kids.

 

twinboys07 - we let the girls sleep with us until they were 2 weeks old. then i couldn't take it anymore...i just couldn't get a restful sleep...afraid i was going to squash one, etc. they slept in the cribs from then on. we would let them sleep with us if they were sick though, instead of getting up and down every hour. then we went from cribs to full size beds around 2.5, and then the wandering into our bed started. when it happened, we would just walk them back to bed and lay down with them until they fell back to sleep. now they have been in their own beds for about 9 months i guess. we still have to lay with them at night until they fall asleep or else they will jumping off the walls and all over the house. now we are dealing with one waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to sleep in our bed...a different dd each night. i am a pretty heavy sleeper, so there are some nights when i wake up to a kid sleeping next to me. my dh is more likely to let them sleep in the bed than i am believe it or not. so we have compromised and made a rule. if they come into our room before 3am, they have to be put back in bed to sleep the rest of the night. but if they come in AFTER 3 am, they can spend the last few hours with us. silly i know, but it works for us, so they still get some time with us, but they are still learning to be alone in their beds too...best of both worlds i guess.

plus, the girls just finished potty training and are sleeping in panties now, so i find they are up a little more too...i guess you sacrifice one thing for the other.

i realize our case is a little different than yours, i just wanted to let you know that it's ok to have them with you in the bed, if that's what you like. i know there are some that strongly advise against it, but what do you do...everyone's gotta sleep right?? if you decide to transistion them back to their room, also realize it will probably be hard for the first few weeks...lots of crying and protesting, but i am sure it will get better once you get over that "bump".

good luck
rebecca

 

My only concern is your relationship with your husband/S.O.. If you are both truly OK with it, then it might be Ok for a while longer. I don't know! It will probably get harder and harder to manage, but ultimately it's your family.

I haven't ever spent a night with the kids in the bed. They like to put their feet on me and knead like they are a cat or something. So that's not going to work for me. I don't know how you would transition, but if you are all happy...hard to upset that apple cart, isn't it?