Circumcision

I don't know what to do ladies. My son had a consultation appointment today for a circumcision with Texas Childrens hospital in Clear Lake. We saw Dr. Roth. We had the choice when he was in the NICU to either do it there or go through our pedi's office (the nurse said he would be a great age). So we chose our pedi's office. When we went for their first pedi appointment about a week after they came out of the NICU, the Pedi said it was too late to do it in office, and he would have to do it in an OR setting. So he referred us to a urologist. We went to this urologist past Houston when he was about 4 months old. This urologist said to call back at 6-7 months. So we called in December, and they wanted 3500 dollars. We didn't have that, so we looked around. Dr.Roth is willing to do it for 1k. So he had an opening today (after 2-3 months of waiting) we went today. He said "There is no medical reason to do a circumcision your son looks fine, and his forskin pulls back as it should, the only reason you are doing this is because the two of you want to do it". So that makes me think, what should we do? He told me about the risks of being put under anesthesia and the risk of a surgery... small but still there. What IF something happened to him in surgery? I would NEVER be able to forgive myself, because this was just something that I wanted him to get done, not something that was medically needed.

What would you do??? HELP please!

 

first let me say we chose to circumcise. it's a personal decision and you should do what you feel is right. don't let anyone else make the decision for you or make you feel badly about whatever decision you make.

that being said, your doctor is right. there are very few medical reasons to do a circumcision. some studies suggest that there is a reduced risk for penile cancer (which is rare) and a reduced risk for STDs including HIV in circumcised men. as time goes by and more studies are performed the disease prevention benefits are starting to reveal themselves. however, that's not to say the results are so significant that that should make your mind up for you.

in the end it comes down to preference. if it is something that is done in your family or your husband's family, then you may prefer to have it done to your son as well.

then again, if it's not important enough for you to have firmly made up your mind at this point, maybe it's not something that needs to be done. i will say that we made the decision to do it and i don't regret the decision, but i was not prepared for what the wound looked like. they seem to be more bothered by their vaccines than they were by the circumcision procedure, but it was difficult for me as mommy to look at that wound and not feel their pain.

if you're now looking at the expense of the procedure, anesthesia, and the worry about surgery, maybe it's okay to change your mind at this point. what were your reasons for choosing to do circumcision in the first place?

 

oh my I think I would call another pediatrician surely someone else can do it.....I called around and my ped did it for $100 but I know some won't do it after a certain age but others will maybe try calling a uroligist out of town.....and if they will do it with anethesia maybe you should just save for a bit to pay for it to be done...I mean he's already past the age they like to do it so what's a little longer.....but IMHO I think it's a very big must...I know they say it's not but I know to many ppl that have had trouble in their older years from not being cut.

 

Well we wouldn't have even had to think about it, because if they were on time, he would have had it done in the hospital. My hubby is circumcised, his uncle was not circumcised as a child, and he had to get circumcised later in life. It is easier for them to clean, etc. When the first urologist wanted 3500 we couldn't afford that all upfront, so we were against it. Then we got heat about it from both sides of our families. But after speaking to the urologist today, he made us feel like we are just doing it just to do so. And then we started thinking about money... like we are spending 1k just to do something, something that doesn't have to be done, because there is no medical reasoning to do it. We are spending 1k on an opinion. Then I thought, well that should be up to my son later in life, but then I think if we don't have it done right now, and we wait to let him decide he might look down on us for not doing it when he didn't have to feel the pain. But then I think what if he has to get it done because of an infection later down the road! UGH... it is so hard! My hubby and I were against having it done, because there was no medical reason to do it on the way home. Then he said well if we have another son are you going to have him circumcised, and I said yes, we are going to have him circumcised in the hospital. Then my hubby said that isn't fair! So now we are leaning towards doing it again.

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Apr 8 2009, 03:40 PM) [snapback]1264716[/snapback]
oh my I think I would call another pediatrician surely someone else can do it.....I called around and my ped did it for $100 but I know some won't do it after a certain age but others will maybe try calling a uroligist out of town.....and if they will do it with anethesia maybe you should just save for a bit to pay for it to be done...I mean he's already past the age they like to do it so what's a little longer.....but IMHO I think it's a very big must...I know they say it's not but I know to many ppl that have had trouble in their older years from not being cut.


We have the 1k saved to do it. And that is as cheap as we can find since we have to pay for the urologist like 175, and then the OR setting, anasethia etc.

 

We also chose the circ for both our sons. A circ is very minor....our little guy had it done at the ped office at 5 weeks. Only cost us $600. The doctor used local anesthesia (a shot) and it only took about 15 mins. He recovered very quickly and didn't seem like it was hurting him at all. There is no stiches & very little bleeding for the first few hours. I am guessing they want to perform it in a OR setting due to his age?? Why didn't you have it done sooner while he was still very little? Our LO was in the NICU 4 weeks and we had the option of having it done the day he was discharged (Christmas Eve) but we wanted to wait for the Pedi to do it, we just wanted to get him and his sister home!!

Our first son Korey had it done in the hospital when he was 1 day old.

 

QUOTE(Melissatwins84 @ Apr 8 2009, 03:44 PM) [snapback]1264727[/snapback]
Well we wouldn't have even had to think about it, because if they were on time, he would have had it done in the hospital. My hubby is circumcised, his uncle was not circumcised as a child, and he had to get circumcised later in life. It is easier for them to clean, etc. When the first urologist wanted 3500 we couldn't afford that all upfront, so we were against it. Then we got heat about it from both sides of our families. But after speaking to the urologist today, he made us feel like we are just doing it just to do so. And then we started thinking about money... like we are spending 1k just to do something, something that doesn't have to be done, because there is no medical reasoning to do it. We are spending 1k on an opinion. Then I thought, well that should be up to my son later in life, but then I think if we don't have it done right now, and we wait to let him decide he might look down on us for not doing it when he didn't have to feel the pain. But then I think what if he has to get it done because of an infection later down the road! UGH... it is so hard! My hubby and I were against having it done, because there was no medical reason to do it on the way home. Then he said well if we have another son are you going to have him circumcised, and I said yes, we are going to have him circumcised in the hospital. Then my hubby said that isn't fair! So now we are leaning towards doing it again.



IMO go ahead and do it. He will thank you later in life....I have no experience with uncircumsized but more guys are than those that aren't. It is more hygienic to do so and you won't have to worry about problems further down. Plus you don't want him to be the only 1 of his friends that isn't circ and then he would feel like he was diff. Being a teenager is hard enough.

 

:hug: I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this! It is very much a personal choice. We chose to have it done to all of our boys. I let my dh decide because I didn't know much about it (back 8 years ago with my oldest ds). I wanted my sons to be the same as my dh, incase they had questions or something... If you think it's something your son would want later then I would definately do it now.
I'm sorry you have to make such a tough choice. Good luck!

 

QUOTE(Korey @ Apr 8 2009, 03:47 PM) [snapback]1264734[/snapback]
We also chose the circ for both our sons. A circ is very minor....our little guy had it done at the ped office at 5 weeks. Only cost us $600. The doctor used local anesthesia (a shot) and it only took about 15 mins. He recovered very quickly and didn't seem like it was hurting him at all. There is no stiches & very little bleeding for the first few hours. I am guessing they want to perform it in a OR setting due to his age?? Why didn't you have it done sooner while he was still very little? Our LO was in the NICU 4 weeks and we had the option of having it done the day he was discharged (Christmas Eve) but we wanted to wait for the Pedi to do it, we just wanted to get him and his sister home!!

Our first son Korey had it done in the hospital when he was 1 day old.



Yes he has to do it in the OR setting because of his age. And we had the choice to do it in the NICU or to do it in the Pedi's office (we called the pedi-his nurse) and asked if this was ok. She said yes. So since my son and his sister were going through so much in the NICU already, we decided to get the circ. done through our pedi. But when we took him in for his first appointment, about a week after they were released from the NICU, he said that he was too old, and it would have to be done in an OR setting. So then we went to the first urologist when he was 4 months old, and that urologist said that he has to be over 6 months old to have a smaller chance of an infection after the surgery. So we called at 7 months old. And he said he wanted 3500 dollars to schedule it. We didn't have 3500 dollars at the time, so we waited until after our income tax, and we found a highly recommended urologist that would do it for 1k. This was 2-3 months ago, and he just had an appointment open today for a consultation appointment. And then that is what he said... no reason to do it medically, it's just our opinion. Which makes me think maybe it should be my sons opinion, since it is HIS body! I am so confused!

 

Just another point of view. My DH is not circumcised and neither are our 3 boys. Our pediatrician told us that about half of boys are and half aren't...and it is now becoming more common to not be. So if you decide not to, your son will certainly NOT be the only one.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

-maria
DS1 4.5
DS2 DS3 8 months

 

I'd be kind of annoyed that he seemed to be forcing his opinions on you. Clearly you wanted to have it done, since you researched and went through so much to finally be seen by him. And then it's like he's trying to make you feel guilty about it. I would do it and just get it over with. If your son decides he wants it done, it may be much later in life. He may be too embarrassed to bring it up as a boy or young teen.

 

We chose not to circ. I couldn't cut something off of my child for cosmetic reasons. I am unconvinced by the studies that have been done, I don't love the techniques...

the vast majority of my male friends are uncirc'ed and the rumor is the sex is better . DH is circ'ed and supported not cutting up his boy.

 

My boys were not circumsized either. Anthony in the end, couldn't be circumsized even if we wanted him to, because he was born with hypospadias and they needed the foreskin to grow for when he had surgery to fix the hypospadias. And now it's as if he was circumsized. But anyways... DH is not circumsized either and I also have to say, like someone else mentioned-it's more and more common NOT to circumsize now. Maybe years ago it was, but your son will not be the only one in the locker room circumsized/not. I still haven't figured out why guys go around and show their stuff anyways! :unknw:

In the end-it's a personal decision. Our pedi also was supportive of our decision as well.

 

Our older DS is circ'd - we had a horrible time making up our minds and when the pedi came to us and told us that if we wanted it done, it needed to be done that day (before he was discharged) - we ended up doing it. While we don't regret it or anything, we felt hurried - and conflicted - but my DH is and we just went that route.

When our twins were born 5 weeks early - we could were not going to let anyone near them - I swear, they (their penis, not the babies!) were the size of an earthworm! So, as my DH and I talked about it more - we decided we just wouldn't get it done. If they want it done when they are older - okay, but we'll let them make that decision.

It's a personal decision - and we've gone both ways - if your instincts are telling you anything, go with that. Good luck!

 

More and more people are choosing not to circ. It is a personal choice to make but you should research both sides of the argument. I'm going to send you a pm with a link to another forum that has many uncirced boys and you can get information from their perspective.

 

My ob/gyn told me that its about 50/50 now. I chose to get my son circumsized because my dad is not. He has had a lot of trouble because he is not circumsized and when my son was born he highly suggested that my son get circumsized. I know the doctors say there is no medical reasons, but according to my dad, who is not circumsized, he has had nothing but problems relating to not being circumsized.

 

QUOTE(Utopia122 @ Apr 8 2009, 09:42 PM) [snapback]1265222[/snapback]
My ob/gyn told me that its about 50/50 now. I chose to get my son circumsized because my dad is not. He has had a lot of trouble because he is not circumsized and when my son was born he highly suggested that my son get circumsized. I know the doctors say there is no medical reasons, but according to my dad, who is not circumsized, he has had nothing but problems relating to not being circumsized.


Thank you so much ladies. Hubby and I decided to do it last night, probably scheduling it for July. I want to go ahead and get it over with now so he won't feel the pain. Just in case he has an infection, or he wants it done later in life, he wont suffer from the pain. It will be hard on me as his mommy... especially handing him off to some stranger to get sedated. Ultimately I think this is the best choice for our family. Thank you so much for all of your responses.

 

I am glad that you and your DH were able to come to a decision. :hug:

 

DH is circ', but we chose not to circ DS. The fact is that not only is the rate more like 50/50 nowadays, but the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a statement indicating that there is no medical reason for circumcision...that is done purely for social and religious reasons (you can google it). My pedi used to perform circ regularly for 25 years, but since the AAP statement no longer performs them...in fact, even the pedi on call at the hospital told us that she doesn't do them either, so we'd have to call around.

Between the fact that two doctors we highly respect and the AAP recommends against it (basically), we chose not to do it. DH said that even if DS even NOTICES that they are different, he figures that "I'll be having much more complicated conversations with him someday...it's simple really: when daddy was small the doctors thought you had to do this, and by the time you were born, they realized that they didn't."

As for the cleanliness issue, I beg to differ. It's no different than cleaning any other part of your body. You just have to...clean it. Some people have issues/complications with an uncirc...but I also have quite a few friends who wish they had never circ' their little boys because they have issues of some kind too...so it depends...just like anything else in life.

All that to say, that it is a very personal decision and I certainly (nor should anyone else) do not look down on anyone who chooses to do it. I'm just hoping to portray a different side and explain why your doc said what he did. I will say though that putting a child under full anesthesia would certainly make me worry for somehting that is cosmetic. But that's just my opinion, and you have to come to your own conclusions with your DH.

But like I said, TOTALLY up to you and DH...

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

We know a lot more about caring for intact penises now. In the past in America, mothers were told to retract the foreskin of the infant and clean after each diaper. Now we know that this causes micro-tears and causes infections, which has led to the idea that intact penises are harder to care for. In reality, the intact penis needs only to be wiped like a finger. In my opinion, intact boys are much easier to care for. I know so many little boys that have had problems with circumcision. One had his circumcision messed up by the OB and has had to have 2 surgeries to have it fixed, complete with catheter and several weeks of recovery. Another had adhesions and had to have them ripped back open by his Pedi. Yet another had a buried penis due to his circumcision.

The rate of circumcision in this country is about 50/50. You son will not be in the minority. There will be plenty of other boys his age that are intact.

As far as the mass infections.... 90% of the world is intact. However, 90% of the world is not battling constant infections or having tons of problems. In Europe, it's extremely rare for a child to need to be circumcised because of medical reasons. If you research how to care for your child's penis, you should have very few, if any problems through his life.

However, like others have said, it is ultimately a personal decision. However... if you circumcise, you cant' undo it. If you decide not to, he can always decide to have himself circumcised if he doesn't like it.