Is two and a half months too early to start the CIO stage? I know they are fed and clean. I just wish the crying would stop. I refuse to bring them to bed with me, but I am too tired to stay up and hold them without the fear of dropping someone! DH just sleeps through the screaming at this point, he is so fatigued.
I'm afraid it is too early. :hug99: The babies are just too young to self-soothe. They really can't cope with it on their own yet. Are you swaddling them? Do they take pacis? Also, I don't know if this is the reason why you don't want them in bed with you, but if you're worried about forming bad habits, it's also too early for that. I brought mine in bed with me now and then when they were really little - just desperate for a little more sleep - and they now sleep happily in cribs all the time.
Yes, it's too early. They are still tiny babies who need their mommy to comfort them. Especially if (as many twins are) they were born early. I know it is so hard to keep going when you are so sleep-deprived, but they do not have the ability to calm themselves. You say you refuse to bring them to bed with you. Are you afraid you'll never get them back out? I would put that fear aside at such an early age - you need to be in survival mode, and anything that gets sleep for mommy and babies goes. You WILL be able to transition them out of this as time goes on. As for your husband, WAKE HIM UP if the babies don't. You guys are a team, and he needs to play his role. I understand he is fatigued but so are you, and if you are considering letting your brand-new babies cry it out, I think you need some more help. If your husband can't/won't help, do you have any family or friends that would be willing to stay for one night, or come by during the day so you can get a solid chunk of sleep? Hang in there, mommy. :hug99:
:hug99: Unfortunately, it is way too early to CIO. The babies have no soothing skills at this age. Have you tried swaddling? If you don't want to bring them into the bed (I know, I didn't either for fear I would roll over on them) do they have a swing or a bouncy or a car seat that they do sleep well in? My DS wouldn't sleep at all unless he was swaddled or if he was in his bouncy or swing. He actually slept in his bouncer until he was 6 months old but now sleeps in the crib all the time so don't worry about transitioning. At this point, you need to do whatever it takes to get some the babies to sleep. Have you and your husband thought of taking shifts at night or each taking a baby for the night? I know that in the beginning, DH would let me sleep from the time that he got home from work until Midnight when he went to sleep, then I took the night shift. This assured me 5 or 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and the same for him. Once they got a little older, DH would take DS all night (he slept in the master bedroom) and I would take DD (we put a twin bed in the nursery)...that way, we only had to get up 1 or 2 times a night (I actually preferred this!) Please hang in there! I know this is a terribly tough time! There were times when I just knew that I wouldn't make it another day, but I did and now my babies sleep 12 hours a night and take two naps a day! Your day for a good nights rest is coming! I promise! More :hug99: to you!
Huge :hug99: !!! I know you are going through what was the hardest part for me. I agree with pp, it is way too early for CIO. I also worried about bringing the babies to bed with me for fear of creating a bad habit, but I did it, it worked for all of us, and no bad habit was formed. I slept with a DD on the couch a few times, just so she wouldn't connect our bed with sleep, maybe you could try that. I just put her in between me and the couch back. I knew I wouldn't roll on her because I am a light sleeper, and she was safe from rolling off and I kept the blanket below her waist. I would also involve DH, you shouldn't bear the brunt of this right now, it's too much to expect. I hope things get better for you very soon!
I agree, it is way too early to start CIO. (I was late doing it, but I didn't start until 8/9 months!?!) I am sorry you are so tired - we can all relate! I forgot what sleep is at this point. Hang in there - it will get better.
The DR told us that 4 months is good timing for CIO. They are old enough to learn but don't have tons of stamina. Unfortunately, that's 4 months developmentally and my twins, though almost 4 months old are only 2 months developmentally because of their prematurity. It sounds awful to say that I am "eager" to do CIO but in 2 more months we'll be doing that too. Hang in there. As PP have said, do anything you can right now to get some sleep. My son spends the greater portion of each night in the swing in his room. Thank goodness for batteries. Bouncy chairs, swaddling, car seats in the crib, bringing them in bed with you, etc. Do whatever works. My husband and I take "shifts". If he's too tired to hear them crying during his shift, I shake him awake. Don't let the "Daddy Deafness" win!
my dd slept on my chest until 3 months and then we did cio at 4 months.. she did just fine.. no prolems going from mommy to crib.. the twins sleep in bed with us... its the only way we seem to get any sleep at all...
Amy :hug99: I know it's so hard right now. I did anything that worked at that point and worried about breaking habits later. If they sleep well with you in your bed...so be it! Jake slept with me for the first 3 months, and Emma slept in her swing...ALL NIGHT! They both transitioned fine to their cribs around 4 months. Do what works...it's all about survival right now. Hang in there momma! :hug99:
Just agreeing with pp. Just do what you gotta do to get through right now! I don't think you need to worry about forming bad habits at this point. It's all about survival. We often brought the boys in and let them sleep chest to chest with us on our sides. We still do this sometimes! I promise it will get better. Wake up DH!!! Can you get someone to come and do a night shift just once a week for you so that you can get a good night sleep?
Unfortunately I agree with the above. No add'l advice but remember where you are like it was yesterday :hug99: IMO there was nothing fun about the newborn phase. However, the crying will ease up, things will get better (and fun) and before you know it they'll be close to a year old. For me, these past 9 months have flown at the speed of light. And though we still have challenges it is NOTHING compared to how hard it was at your babies' age. All I can recommend is take ANY help that is offered whether cooking, cleaning, babysitting...then use the free time to do something nice for yourself whether it is sleeping or just getting out. If you have any spare $$ at all pay for help. I have learned people enjoy being needed and though it is generally hard to ask for/accept help, it benefits everyone in the end. Good luck and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel...things will improve!!!
i can only repeat all the good advice from pp's. DEFINITELY try swaddling if you;'re not - that made world of difference for us. My girls were six weeks early and at six months we have just stopped swaddling (mostly). And - don't worry about 'bad habits' forming; remember, yours are still used to being inside mama's nice dark belly with sound and movement all the time. One thing i'd add - do you have a cd player in the nursery? we got a cheapie at target and some baby sleep cd's.....they have a selection of sounds: waves crashing, maternal heartbeat, rain falling: for the first few months (TOTAL SURVIVAL MODE!!!) i had them playing on repeat all night long. As for Dh - i know that;s a tough one; i bought into the notion that since he was working during the day i should try and let him sleep at night - and nearly had a breakdown. That only lasted a while. i was/am nursing, so he pushed back a little, with 'well, if you're up anyway, why should we both be up?" - but after a while I got clear with him that I couldn't - and SHOULDN'T do it alone. If you are nursing, can you try pumping so he or someone else can give them an evening and/or early morning bottle? DEFINITELY try to get at least one four hour block of sleep a day - it will make all the difference in the world. And i know this means NOTHING now, but, honestly, this phase WILL end and you'll look back and wonder who those tiny babies were - and where they went. Hang in there!
I personally think that is too young. We did CIO with all 3 of our kids, but didn't start until around 7-8 months with our oldest DD and the twins were around 11 months. Sorry I know it's hard. :hug99:
