So I decided 2 nights ago that I would let my 6 month old DD CIO rather than feeding her when she woke up. She's eating about 24 ounces during the day and 2 solid meals, so from what I've read that should be enough and she should be able to go without eating in the middle of the night. Well, the first night she cried/screamed for 45 minutes and went to sleep. It was horrible and SO hard not to go in there. Then, last night she cried for an hour and 15 minutes! I guess I drifted off to sleep (amazingly) and when I woke I realized it had been that long! I remember reading in HSHHC not to let them go more than an hour, so I went in a picked her up. She immediately calmed down. I held her for a few minutes then laid her down still awake with a lovey and left. I didn't hear another sound from her, so she put herself back to sleep on her own. BUT...did I totally just undo everything by going in there and picking her up? Also how do you handle CIO without checking on them at all....what if they've pooped or peed through their pj's (which happens sometimes). I feel like I need to check to make sure everything is OK first, but then of course she sees me come in and leave again which really ticks her off.
I used CIO to get my girls asleep at bedtime and at naps starting at 6 months, but not through the night feedings until 10 months or so. At nap times I don't let them cry for more than an hour, but at bedtime I would let them cry as long as it took. The first couple of nights were long, but after a couple of days they would put themselves to sleep in a matter of minutes. Before you started this, was she still eating in the middle of the night? I wasn't comfortable not going in there to feed them until I knew they were just waking up to wake up, rather than waking up to eat. Does that make sense? I got to the point where I could differentiate their cries. I could tell their "something is wrong/needed" cry vs. their crying just because they don't want to go to bed. You just have to trust your mommy gut. The key to CIO is being consistent. It is so hard not to go in and make everything all better. That being said, they have to physically and mentally be able to self soothe via the CIO method. Good Luck! It's hard, but if they are ready, it is so worth it!! :hug:
Yes, she was eating 4 ounces in the night most nights. Sometimes she would sleep through, but probably 80% of the time she was waking. I think that is where I am torn. I too wonder if maybe she does still need to eat, but it's hard to know. She is great about going to sleep on her own and self-sooting and I have no problems at nap time. I have no problems with her at night either, other than waking up one time, so maybe she is waking because she needs eat. When she wakes and I feed her she is back to sleep within 15 minutes. Now I'm thinking I should forget this CIO thing for now and go back to feeding her when she wakes up.
I think you are right. If she is still eating 4oz then she is probably waking because she is hungry. Not to worry Momma, it won't be long and they won't need that middle of the night bottle! Just follow her lead. When she starts waking up in the middle of the night but doesn't eat anything or very little, that's when I would resume CIO. Good Luck!
What about cutting her middle of the night meal gradually? I haven't tried CIO, my babies are less than 3 mos, but I've read about gradually reducing the middle of the night bottle until they realize they don't need that night feeding. Maybe by 1/2 oz or so. Good luck!
The hour limit is really just for naps. If you go in at night after an hour, she learns that she needs to cry for an hour and then you come. It's worse than going in after a few minutes. Don't go in! That said, you have not completely derailed CIO. Just go back to it tomorrow. You just have to do the best you can. As for real issues, you just have to kind of feel your way through. A poop you can usually smell from the door, stuck in the crib results in a different kind of cry for my two. Now that we are more solid with the CIO, I will sometimes go in right when DS starts to cry to be sure everything is okay, lay him down and tell him it's time for sleep, then leave. But I would not have done that at 7 months when we started. It's hard, but it works! Hang in there!
We did a modified CIO at bedtime and naps. We used the Ferber method and we would go in every X amount of minutes. I think we did every 10 minutes. If the were still crying after 10 min we would go in and rub their backs, try to soothe them but not pick them up. Then we would leave and start the next 10 min. We rarely went past the 2nd 10 min period and after a few days they would be asleep after just a few minutes. I didn't have much success with CIO in the middle of the night, but I think that was mainly related to the personality of my son.
According to Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, it is normal for babies to wake up twice a night for feedings, meaning if they go to sleep at 6, it's still normal to wake up at 12 and 4 for bottles (going back to sleep right after).. so maybe continue feeding her when she wakes up, as long as she eats and goes back to sleep right after. You can also ask your doctor if you are unsure about anything..
IMO she probably is waking because she knows you'll feed her, rather than needing that feeding. All my kids have slept thru the night at least 8 hours by at the latest 3 months of age ( and that was the twins the latest, the other two were 6 wks and 8 wks each). Instead of feeding right away, try giving a lovey/paci or helping them find their thumb, for at least 30 mins. Every couple nights extend that 30 minute period. So if she wakes at 4am, make her wait until 4:30. Couple nights later make her wait until 5am. Eventually she'll get to where she's sleeping all the way through. Another option is to either cut back on the amt (instead of 4 oz try 3 oz), or water it down until eventually it's a water bottle. A lot of babies will decide it's not worth the effort to wake for that bottle. If she's sleeping at least one 8hr stretch at night that's pretty good, but if she's up eating every 3-4 hrs still then I think trying one of these options will help. As for ruining the CIO, I agree with the pp who said "just get back in there and try it again". :hug: Sleeping is a hard thing, CIO is only second hardest, next to potty training I think!
Thank you all so much for your replies. I've decided to keep feeding her (for the time being) but gradually decrease the amount. Last night she woke around 1 (after going to bed at 7) and I fed her 3 ounces instead of her usual 4. She drank it all and went straight back to sleep until 7 this morning. Maybe she really isn't hungry, but she is eating all of her bottle and then always goes straight back to sleep. I think I'll wait to try the CIO once I know for sure she isn't waking because she is hungry. Thanks again for the advice!
