And at first, the idea seemed to be a good one. I didn't even make 'night time' bottles for them cause I was prepared to not get up for anything [but to possibly soothe and put them back to bed]. Rose starts crying at 0100. Okay, I just tried to ignore it as it didn't seem bad. Then on and off [more on than off] for 30 mins she'd wake and cry. Okay, that's normal I think. THEN,.. after no one came in to get this girl she started to hyperventilate cry AND woke up her sissy who then started to cry. At this point I go in and attemp to soothe Rose - she's PISSED at me. I pick her up and she starts smacking me in the face and is doing the hyperventilate cry [the kind that's involuntary], lays her head on my shoulder, then 1 min later she starts crying again. I try to give her a paci and lay her back down to see if she'll go back to bed and what does she do? Freaks the F out - literally. The normal [Waaah.... Waaah.... Waaa....] cry turned into more like a Screaming *ShrEEk* of WAH!!. WAH!!. WAH!!. WAH!!. This is when I said F it and just grabbed her and decided to give her a bottle. Upon going in to get her Alyssa is Cranky and starts to scream as well. Thank God for DH helping out otherwise I think I would have walked out of the house for a walk at 0200. Crying is one thing, but a SHREEKING SCREAM is another. That being said. Anyone try a different approach to get them to STTN? DH had the idea that.. okay, we'll only get up with them once each per night. If they cry before 0100 just ignore it. But if they cry after 0100 get em', feed em' and if they wake before they wake for the day, then let them cry. I thought that may be a good idea.. also maybe try making their 'night time' bottle a little less each day?!
QUOTE(Suzy! @ May 30 2009, 02:06 PM) [snapback]1334160[/snapback] And at first, the idea seemed to be a good one. I didn't even make 'night time' bottles for them cause I was prepared to not get up for anything [but to possibly soothe and put them back to bed]. Rose starts crying at 0100. Okay, I just tried to ignore it as it didn't seem bad. Then on and off [more on than off] for 30 mins she'd wake and cry. Okay, that's normal I think. THEN,.. after no one came in to get this girl she started to hyperventilate cry AND woke up her sissy who then started to cry. At this point I go in and attemp to soothe Rose - she's PISSED at me. I pick her up and she starts smacking me in the face and is doing the hyperventilate cry [the kind that's involuntary], lays her head on my shoulder, then 1 min later she starts crying again. I try to give her a paci and lay her back down to see if she'll go back to bed and what does she do? Freaks the F out - literally. The normal [Waaah.... Waaah.... Waaa....] cry turned into more like a Screaming *ShrEEk* of WAH!!. WAH!!. WAH!!. WAH!!. This is when I said F it and just grabbed her and decided to give her a bottle. Upon going in to get her Alyssa is Cranky and starts to scream as well. Thank God for DH helping out otherwise I think I would have walked out of the house for a walk at 0200. Crying is one thing, but a SHREEKING SCREAM is another. That being said. Anyone try a different approach to get them to STTN? DH had the idea that.. okay, we'll only get up with them once each per night. If they cry before 0100 just ignore it. But if they cry after 0100 get em', feed em' and if they wake before they wake for the day, then let them cry. I thought that may be a good idea.. also maybe try making their 'night time' bottle a little less each day?! Suzy :hug: sorry it didn't go well! I agree that screaming is different than crying. I read somewhere that the cry will reach crescendo 3 times before calming down for good and I anxiously listened for that. I also drank wine and sat outside on the porch I agree with your DH's idea and yours... I actually did both of those and didn't ever end up having to do "actual" CIO. I reduced the amount in the bottle 1 oz every couple days and then when it got down to 2-3 oz, I just gave a bottle of water in the crib for them to hold. If they don't hold their bottles, that may not work so well! Also, I set time limits on when I would get up. At first it was every 3 hours, then I moved it to every 4, then every 5. Mainly I listened to their cries and tried to respond accordingly. You know your own babies! For us, it really seemed to be getting enough calories during the day. So that's why I slowly reduced what they were getting at night and pushing to get them to eat more during the day. I offered solids 6x a day rather than 2-3, so they would have the opportunity to get more in. I started doing a lot of snacks on their blanket in the livingroom. Pretty much I just spent every waking hour trying to get them to eat After I got them sleeping at night, they fell into regular mealtimes a little easier. GL! I know this sleeping thing is SO HARD. I honestly thought my babies would STTN sooner without so much effort. Keep us posted!
Sorry it was so rough. I read a lot about CIO (never had to do it, thankfully) but your story sounds similar to a lot of them. What you are describing happens often from what I read. Some even cry to the point of puking. It's certainly not for everyone. Maybe tonight will go better
Sounds like the night I had a night before last. We tried to put them in their cribs. I wasn't going to do CIO just get them to sleep there. They've been on a mattress on the floor with me (until they wall asleep and I can get away) and so i put the mattress away and was going to be tough mommy for a change. DH put them down after their last feeding, no problem! Then Bob wakes up at 10:30. I finally get him back to sleep, put him down and he wakes up crying. This happens like 5 times until he finally wakes up Miles too. It's kind of a haze after that, but I know I ended up waking up DH to ask how on earth he got them to go down in the fist place. "I just patted their bums" So i go try it and end up with me and the babies crying so DH comes in and after it's clear no amount of patting is going to do anything he's like "Go put the mattress back." Oh well. I wasn't go to type all that, I was just going to say I feel for you! :hug: I hope it all works out for you!
Do the girls take sippy cups at all? We never did CIO although I do put my kids to bed with a sippy of water. That seems to really help if they wake up and are "thirsty" its there for them. When we were trying to stop night nursing though we would go in at the first peep and comfort. Not taking them out of their cribs. Back patting, shushing, singining, etc. For 2 nights we had to get up MULTIPLE times per night and go reassure and comfort. But by the 3rd night, there were no wakers as I think they figured out there would be no milk. Sleep is such a difficult thing. I strongly feel if you do what feels right to you, you will find something that works for your family. Some things are just trial and error as 1 thing wont work for all families or all kids. I know I would not have been able to handle the situation you faced yesterday.
Can you stop feeding them at night? I recently stopped nursing mine in the night and it has made all the difference. Ask you doctor but I am pretty sure that they do not need to be having a bottle or nursing in the night. I stopped nursing, it was easy. I just stopped and they were fine. They were a little fussy at first but they got the message pretty quickly- no milkie at night. After I stopped they finally began sleeping almost throught the night (7pm-4am and then back to sleep again for another hour or so) a week later. My suggestion is no bottles in the night. Not water, not anything. It is just one more thing that they will think they need. We also try not to pick them up when they do wake. We go in and soothe them while they are laying down in their cribs. We try to pat them on their backs, etc until they go back to sleep. It is a slow process of teaching them to be comfortable without you and able to self soothe. I think that it just takes little steps of working towards the goal.
Thank you all for the good advice ladies. I also believe that trial and error will ultimately help us figure this all out, but thank you for giving me some ideas. Maybe we'll first try making their bottles progressively smaller for about a week - with coming in and rubbing backs and tucking them back in. Then after that maybe we'll try giving them sippy's of water - hoping that they'll realize they don't need me to come in and help soothe them back to sleep. I really hope something works soon. I really do need to rest more. Lately I've been feeling so exhausted.. I'll need my patience for when they start walking and Running around everywhereJ!
If you're sure they don't need to eat at night (i.e. they're getting a good amount of nutrition during the day, they're a good weight, etc.) then I'd spend some time just getting rid of the bottles. When they cry you can go and offer comfort, but not food. Pat their backs, give them a little snuggle, adjust their blankets, give them back their pacis, etc. Once you've got them used to the idea that daytime is for eating and night time is for sleeping (i.e. probably over the course of a week - if they wake up, they don't eat), then you can work on getting them to self soothe by leaving them to cry at night. I find it easier to deal with one issue at a time. Do they have comfort items you can leave in their cribs - a teddy bear or little blankie they love?
I hated CIO, but I did do it around 10 months. Well, actually my dh did it while I was out 2 nights in a row. By the 3rd night, it wasn't that bad. I had an issue with one of mine pooping because she'd get so upset from crying. I finally figured out to go up only after 30 min. to check to see if she pooped. Thank God, that was just a phase. Before we did CIO, I started laying them back down if they woke, but never picking up. There were nights I'd have to go in a lot to lay Ellie back down. Eventually, she'd give in and fall asleep. I found if I picked them up and rocked them or whatever, it made it worse. They screamed the minute I would put them back down. We haven't fed in the middle of the night for a long time, so I knew they weren't hungry. They were getting all their ounces in during the day, so I knew they weren't waking for a bottle. I would give the binky and lovey instead. I really think you'll figure out what works for you. I tried a lot of things and they helped, but CIO is what worked best for us. You have to be consistent, because they are sooooo smart. She knew if she cried for 30 min. and I would go in, then she'd have to cry for at least 30 min. the next time. I swear she had a clock up there. Finally, we had enough and did full blown CIO. It made me sick to my stomach, but I knew I had to do it. It worked so fast too. By the 3rd or 4th night, she barely even whimpered and stopped waking up in the middle of the night. If she did wake up, she was putting herself back to sleep. They've been sleeping so well ever since.
Do they do that shrEEking SCREAM during CIO though? Is that normal? I feel like I'm going to scar them emotionally. And also.. they just feed off of each other's cries. There's no real way to avoid that, is there? Rose has got a little lovey stuffed animal that she has. These girls only started taking the pacifiers recently for their teething and they think they're fun to play with. I tried to give Rose her paci that night but she just smacked it out of my hands. Also, when they wake up they are either sitting or standing in their cribs.
I kinda did a modified CIO... on and off... dont know if you've read about different approaches. I focused on it earlier on... and the Baby Whisperer would talk about doing a sush/pat method... and a pick up put down... where you sush and pat their little chests or back while they are in the crib... not picking them up... the other is you soothe them and pick them up and put them back immediately when they calm down. I don't remember what ages those were for, we were trying it closer to 6 months... so not sure what her suggestions are when they are older... I think for the earlier ages the author was against a full on CIO... and this was her way of doing the same thing of trying to get them to STTN... It is very hard to let them work themselves up into a full blown meltdown... we find once they get to that point its really hard to get them to sleep... but I think once they learn that there isn't help coming, they'll be quicker to just STTN... which is the point, huh?! for the most part ours are STTN... and for the most part I have quit nursing them... lately my little guy is having teething pains... so I think that's why he gets up, I'll give him a teething tablet and he's quiet again... I hope it gets better for you.
