CIO Worked, And Then It Didn't?

Our boys are 7.5mo old and we started Modified CIO (go in, hold and comfort at longer and longer intervals) 11 days ago. The first couple of nights they cried a fair amount until they went to sleep, but once down they acted normal. They would wake every 2-3hrs to eat then go right back to sleep. The reason we did CIO is because they were refusing to sleep in their cribs without crying, and they were sick for weeks, so we had been taking pity on them and I was sleeping with them at night. For the first week of CIO or so, it seemed like the miracle cure.

But for the past three nights, they go to sleep fine but wake up about 1hr later. They're not hungry but want me to hold them. All I have to do is sit in the rocking chair for 5min and they're passed out. I can put them back down in their cribs but it only "sticks" for about 30min. Wash, rinse, repeat for the rest of the night. I solo them at night and have been trying to stick to the modified CIO but it seems like they're not calming down, and instead getting madder and madder as time goes on. After about 20min they've gone from complaining to full-blown screaming.

There are also mitigating factors. For one, my DH's work is in near-constant crisis mode. They call him all hours of the night and it's important he get what sleep he can. He's been going to bed really early to try to help with this, but I feel a lot of pressure to not let them cry since he can't sleep through it. The crying stresses him out and he'll start telling me to just sleep with them. The second issue (according to my DH, maybe he's right?) is that I sleep with them for naps during the day. My idea was to keep their daytime naps normal while fixing their night issues. Once they were doing well at night I was going to do CIO and have them sleep in their cribs for naps. DH feels like right now they get to taste the sweet life during the day and it's making them remember what they're missing at night. Thirdly, they've been teething for most of the CIO process. Meanest parents ever? Probably. But, they seem to have 2 teeth broken through and no others on the move that I can find, so I would think that has gotten better, not worse. Lastly, they just seem more clingy all the time now. I can't walk past one without yelling and arms in the air to be picked up. I find myself hiding in the kitchen just to get a quick bite without the "OMG I NEED YOU TO GET ME RIGHT NOW!!!" complaining. They'll play quietly if they can't see me or my DH.

So, my question is what do we do to get them back to normal at night? Do we go cold turkey all around and make them sleep in their cribs for everything? Is it just an adjustment period of CIO and it'll get better on its own? Is it some needy phase they're going through and nothing short of sleeping with them 24/7 will stop the crying? Is it all or none of the above?

 

I think this is what I would do. I think your DH might be right, if they are sleeping with you during the day they probably don't understand why they can't sleep with you at night too. I think it would be easier for all of you if you were consistent both day and night.

 

sorry, I dont know what I'm doing with this posting thing. what I had typed was that this is so hard, isn't it? we are going through the same thing with our 7 month olds, and there is so much conflicting opinion, even among experts. Weissbluth says night sleep and naps are different parts of the babys brain and so it shouldn't matter if you nap with them during the day. Ferber says let them cry for a half hour for naps and if it doesn't work, try again. For us, I have decided today that we are going to cribs for a half hour- despite the fact that it is giving me an ulcer because I feel like I am abandoning them, but I am reminding myself that sleep is very important to them. However, if they would both nap with me and I didn't have two other kiddos I would do that. I think you have to make a good choice for you- you need rest too, and then feel confident about it. Good luck- this sucks, huh.
Heather

 

Instead of picking them up when you go in to soothe them, have to tried soothing them while leaving them laying down. Thats what we did and it worked well. It took 4 days, but now they go down for naps and bedtime very well. I would stop letting them nap with you during the day and do the same thing for naps. Its much less confusing for them if you do all their sleepy time the same. I will tell you that even now, they occasionally take a nap on me or I rock them to sleep if they are in a lot of teething pain or when they were sick or if we are out in public and they need to go to sleep. I think they key is to have over 80% of their sleep occurring in their crib (if thats where you want them to sleep). Its hard to CIO when they are teething, but nearly impossible not to. Once they are old enough to CIO, you pretty much have some degree of a teething baby for the next year. I give motrin before bed if they are teething really bad.

 

We cold turkeyed it. If they went into their crob no matter what tme of day, they had to CIO. It only lasted 5 days max and then they figured it out! Plus, I do not rock them to sleep!

Now they are the best sleepers ever!!

 

Thanks for all of your responses. Yes, this does suck! hehe. I think what I read was something about naps and night sleeping being different but that doesn't seem to be working for us. They sleep so well with me that it's easy to fall back on that whenever there' s an upset.

The important thing is for them to sleep well at night and it sounds like naps need to change for that to happen. I've already ruined their naps for today but we can start CIO tomorrow. One more sleepless night won't kill me.

 

We started sleep training when my boys started doing this last week. I woke up at 1am, 2am, 3am & 4am. That morning, I knew something had to change. So I went in with a plan. Clearly at 1 hour past a feeding they are not hungry. So my policy is whether they are sleeping or crying that is their choice, but at night and for naps, they are in their cribs. :acute: It's not cruel for you baby to figure out that they are awake, but need to fall back asleep. It took a couple of nights, but they rarely do it now (maybe 1 night in 5, 1 baby).

Good luck!

 

You may have already decided what to do since this post is a little late but I also vote for cold turkey. My DS has done exactly what you described. He goes down like a dream and then about 9-9:30 PM he wakes up screaming. When he was teething I went in there to comfort him and this just made things worse because he learned he could come downstairs and play if he cried hard enough (we took him out of the room because we were afraid he'd wake his sister). We finally decided we didn't care how hard he screamed, we were going to let him cry and now we don't hear a peep from him. We could never do Ferber because he is the type that if he sees you or hears you it just renews his desire to be picked up and he cries harder!

 

I agree with "slugrad1998". I just started letting my twins cry it out (and it's painful) but they eventually fall asleep. it was particularly hard the first few nights when Vicki took a poo and I didn't see it until the next morning...she had the worst diper rash!! I felt so bad and was angry at myself for letting this happen, but I soon tried it all over again. So, I think letting them cry it out is ok (just turn the volume on your monitor to low).

Although they fall asleep at night...they've been waking up at night just to be held. The minute i try to put them back down, they cry all over again. So I think I'll take your suggestion and let them cry it out throughout the night too.

good luck everyone...and happy sleeping!!!

 

I hope by now things are going much better girl!! I agree with aimee that they are getting mixed signals with their naps being held but bedtime they have to go in the crib! Hopefully you've figured out something that'll work for you! :hug:

When I do CIO I try not to pick them up for more than a moment, and I never move, just stand by the crib, give quick kisses and snuggles, and then lay them back down. I do the modified CIO as well, but instead of going by "time" I go by "cries". If they are just angry yelling or whining, I take longer to go in. But if they switch to the frantic "HELLO YOU LEFT ME HERE" cry, I go in immediately. Within 4-5 nights all my kids were sleeping much better at night, and as you know sleep begets sleep, so they slept better during the day too!