CIO question...

My DH and I have been discussing the possibility of CIO with our DD who is still having difficulty falling asleep on her own. We've been doing a consistent bedtime routine for a couple months now (story and last feed at 6:30) and have been stringent with nap times. One of our DD's has transformed into a good little self soother and can fall asleep on her own, while our other DD needs her pacifer as well as one of us rocking/comforting her to sleep. This is the same daughter that still wakes 2-3 times a night for feedings. (They are both EBF.)

We're confused how to implement CIO at bedtime if she still awakens other times during the night. How do you do it?

Ideally, we'd prefer to wean her from the night feedings all together. Is it possible to do this at the same time as the sleep training? Or, do we need to take a gradual approach?

As far as the night feedings go, we figured out she's mainly eating out of comfort these days. She's only eating maybe an ounce or two max before she's asleep again. She's very healthy in the weight department (17+ lbs) and we ensure she gets enough calories during the day. I've also been trying to tank them up the second half of the day (feeding every 2 hours and a large bottle of expressed breastmilk) right up until bedtime.

 

I never had the heart to do CIO until my boys were about 9.5 months old and started waking every hour, all night long. Not fun!

Your girls are still fairly young - and it seems a bit early (to me, just my opinion, though) to be eliminating all nighttime feeds, especially since you are breastfeeding. But I know others on here have done CIO around your girls' ages, so I'm sure they will respond with better advice.

:hug: Sleep issues are NO fun!! I hope you are able to get it figured out soon.

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Apr 9 2009, 10:10 PM) [snapback]1266762[/snapback]
I never had the heart to do CIO until my boys were about 9.5 months old and started waking every hour, all night long. Not fun!

Your girls are still fairly young - and it seems a bit early (to me, just my opinion, though) to be eliminating all nighttime feeds, especially since you are breastfeeding. But I know others on here have done CIO around your girls' ages, so I'm sure they will respond with better advice.

:hug: Sleep issues are NO fun!! I hope you are able to get it figured out soon.


It's been a very difficult time for my husband and I. The longest stretch of sleep we've gotten since the girls arrived has been 2-3 hours max. The sleep deprivation is taking its toll on our relationship as well. We're completely torn on whether we even want to do CIO. We were just curious how it works with a chronic night feeder.

We understand night feeding is extremely common with exclusively BF babies. We were just hoping to start stretching the time between feeds so we can possibly eliminate one. It's hard since our other DD has stopped waking for night feeds for the most part.

We really appreciate your input. It's helpful to hear other's experiences while we so lost right now.

Thank you!

 

Personally, I wouldnt do it. I am not against CIO but she is only 5 months old. It is okay that she still needs you to help soothe her and it is okay that she still needs to eat at night. Mine ate all day long, got cereal in their bottles for reflux, and were on the high end of their formula intake range, and still woke until they were 9.5 months old and then dropped the night feeds altogether.

If you are going to do it, I wouldnt eliminate all feeds right away, she might still need something to get her through the night.

 

My girls started sleeping through the night at different months. I started to wean one baby as soon as I realized she was drinking less then 3 oz. It only took a week and then she was sleeping 11-12 hours. Now my other girl was another story. She is smaller and needed to have one feeding a night until 6 ½ months (they are both FF). We first weaned her from feedings and once she was weaned then we began our CIO version. Which is to let her cry for 20-30 minutes, go in and settle her, maybe pick her up if need be and start all over again. Sometimes it was 3 visits in one hour the worst will be two hours. Again I would start with weaning her before the sleep training so you know she’s not hungry just that she wants company. After that she still woke up a few nights a week until we dropped her third nap at 8 months.

 

QUOTE(Lisa&Lonnie @ Apr 9 2009, 09:19 PM) [snapback]1266776[/snapback]
It's been a very difficult time for my husband and I. The longest stretch of sleep we've gotten since the girls arrived has been 2-3 hours max. The sleep deprivation is taking its toll on our relationship as well. We're completely torn on whether we even want to do CIO. We were just curious how it works with a chronic night feeder.

We understand night feeding is extremely common with exclusively BF babies. We were just hoping to start stretching the time between feeds so we can possibly eliminate one. It's hard since our other DD has stopped waking for night feeds for the most part.

We really appreciate your input. It's helpful to hear other's experiences while we so lost right now.

Thank you!



The sleep deprivation is HORRIBLE.

What times does your DD wake up during the middle of the night to nurse? How frequently is she waking? How long do you let her "fuss" before you go in? Can you re-insert her pacifier and she'll go back to sleep? Or do you have to nurse her to get her back to sleep?

When I did do CIO with my boys at 9.5 months - they were sporadically waking up to eat, usually 1xnight. They got formula during that 1 feeding and mostly BM during the day. When we decided to let them CIO, we implemented it all night long. The first few nights I did go in and soothe back to sleep during the middle of the night. But after a few days, we just let them CIO for the night wakings. It worked beautifully at their age, but I don't have any experience doing it any earlier than that. I know I've heard other moms on here who have done it earlier, so hopefully they'll read your post and chime in with their experiences!

Hang in there. It feels like those long, sleepless nights will never end - but they do. :hug:

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Apr 9 2009, 10:24 PM) [snapback]1266785[/snapback]
The sleep deprivation is HORRIBLE.

What times does your DD wake up during the middle of the night to nurse? How frequently is she waking? How long do you let her "fuss" before you go in? Can you re-insert her pacifier and she'll go back to sleep? Or do you have to nurse her to get her back to sleep?


Bedtime is 6:30 and it sometims takes 30-45 min for her to settle down for good. 1st wakeup is usually around 11:00pm and my DH tries to give her the paci. If she does not calm with paci and rocking within 10 mins, he brings her to me for a feed. This is successful about 50% of the time. Next wakeup is 1:30-2:00am. If she soothed through the 11pm wakeup, I usually just feed her at this time in hopes she'll make it until morning. This never happens Last wakeup is around 4:00am and she usually does not settle. In fact, she's usually happy and babbling like it's playtime. I feed her again to try and make her sleepy and hope that she'll make it to 6:30am (standard morning wakeup).

The fussing time varies for us. They share a room and oftentimes we run down right away in fear our other DD will wake up. Dealing with two crying babies in the middle of the night is much more scary to us. But, we've been trying to let her cry for 5 mins of so since our other DD turns out to be a pretty sound sleeper.

 

I think it would be fine to start with CIO to fall asleep at bedtime (put to bed and say you are not going in until it has been 4hrs), give that some time (maybe a month) and then see if she needs help stopping the night feedings.

 

I didn't see it in your previous posts, but how much is she taking when she feeds during the night feedings? Is she taking a full amount, or what you consider a full amount, or is she just taking enough to comfort herself back to sleep? If she is taking a full feeding, she is hungry, if she is taking a partial feeding, you could attempt it and see how she does. I don't think she is too young. Both of my girls were STTN by 5 months (they were a month early) and we were doing CIO, however, be mindful of how long it takes her to self-sooth, because you definitely want to gradually work her into it. If she is taking a partial feeding, when she wakes up, don't even go into her room, just see if she will go back to sleep on her own. Give her 10 minutes to see if she will go back to sleep. She may be waking up out of pure habit, and not because she is hungry. If its habit, then within a couple of days she should be able to drop that session on her own. If she doesn't go back to sleep within 10 minutes, then check her for a diaper change, but no excessive talking to her, just go in, change her diaper quickly, pat her on the back, and out the door. I would at least try this with one of the feedings to see if she drops it if you think she may be able to and just see how it goes. Another thing, don't worry about letting her cry, the other baby will get used to it and usually will not wake up. Its weird how it works, but rarely did one of my girls wake the other up.

I agree with Kristi, just go ahead and implement CIO at bedtime. She may actually stop waking up so much during the night because she is going to sleep on her own.

 

I FF mine so I dont know much about how much BM fills babies, etc. However, do you do dream and/or cluster feeds at all? This is when you top them up more in the afternoon then feed at 11pm to encourage sttn. Do you add any cereal to their night bottles?

I think it´s a little early to CIO but it´s entirely your decision. Have you tried giving a pacifier when she wakes during the night? She may just need to suck rather than have a bottle. It sounds as if she is waking out of habit rather than hunger. This happened with my DS who would wake at 5am regularly till one day I gave him his paci and he went through to 6.30am! Then he went to 7am and I was a happy chappy! Mine were going through from 11.30pm-7am by 3 months then sttn 12 hours at 4.5 months.

I know what sleep deprivation is like so I hope things get better asap. Hang in there when you make the changes whatever you decide to do. GL! :hug:

 

My ped said CIO was ok after 4 months, however I was not comfortable with it until 6 months. If you decide to go that route, I would completely eliminate feedings or it will send mixed signals, IMO. Once I decided to do it, I put them down for the night and never went in until morning. I did it with Jake(and all of my boys, girls slept thru on their own) at 6 months, with Emma in the crib next to him.

 

My girls dropped one nighttime feeding on their own, and then we realized that they were waking up at the exact same time every night.... so more of a habit than out of hunger. Is she waking at the same times each night?

With our babies, we would not pick them up if they fussed... just gave them a paci and patted their backs until they went back to sleep. The first few nights, it took about 10 minutes to pat them back down, but after a few nights, one baby just slept right through, and the other still stirs, but she doesn't need to be patted at all - just given the paci.

Now, they are 3 months. One goes from 8:30PM till 4:30AM, the other stirs at 2AM but then goes right into a deep sleep after we give her the paci. We feed them and put them right back down, and they sleep until 8:30AM. I haven't been brave enough to try CIO when the one stirs at 2AM but will try that soon, I think. And at night, we feed them, and lay them down while we read to them and they never really cry to sleep... just grunt or talk for a few minutes.

Oh, they are FF. I hope you find your answer soon! You never appreciate sleep until you can't sleep!!!

 

At that age, we let DD's CIO at naps and bed time, then still got up to feed them about twice a night. Then when I was finished feeding them (usually around 10p and 2a, I'd put them back in the crib to CIO, although mostly they just went right back after a quick scream). It turns out, that by letting then CIO when I first put them down, they began sleeping longer sretches, I guess because they are learning to self-soothe and because they associate the crib with sleep. At about 6 mos, we cut out their 10pm feeding (didn't go in to them), that was a toughie, but they are now sleeping from around 7pm till 2 am. Now if only I could make myself go to bed earlier, maybe I'd get some sleep. I think we're going to cut the 2am feed at 9 or 10 mos. Maybe earlier since, this past week, one of my girls has slept from 7p to 5a three nights in a row. GL

 

I haven't read all the replies, so I'm sorry if I repeat something already said.

I would work on making sure she goes down awake after all the feedings and letting her fuss/cry to go back to sleep. That way she gets the food she needs but none of the socializing. I did a very modified cio when they were under 6mos. I pretty much stayed right by the crib and shhh'd/patted in intervals. Once she gets used to falling asleep by herself, you can work on eliminating feedings. hth!

 

Thanks to ALL for the feedback. DH and I are hopeful we can get our DD to sleep better real soon! The sooner she sleeps better, the better Mom & Dad do too!!

We don't know what we'd do without Twinstuff!! Big Hugs from the Coles!!