CIO night TWO

...but I quit. I know it was a sad attempt, but I'm just not ready. Unless someone can tell me that it is bad for them to wake up once during the night then I'm throwing in the towel. So, anybody??? Am I doing a bad thing by not going through with it? If it really is best for THEM please let me know. I DO plan on cutting the nursing-just going in and cuddling/rocking, etc. Hopefully they'll realize it's not worth waking up if they're not going to eat. What do you guys think?

 

QUOTE
Am I doing a bad thing by not going through with it?


Yes, you are so so bad! Bad to the bone!

I really think it's ok to get up with them once a night. I'd even keep nursing them if it works. (I know I'd rather just nurse and put down a quiet baby than rock and put down a fussy baby.) They'll outgrow it when they're ready.

 

I gave up not even getting thru one night! and mine still wake up 2-3 times in a night.. I cant handle it.. I think they will sleep thru when they do and i am willing to let nature take its corse..

 

Coming from a mom with TERRIBLE sleepers, I couldn't do it either. At 9 months, I think 1 time a night is ok. Mine are 20 months and STILL get up 1x a night, so if you can handle it then it is ALL GOOD!!

 

NO you are not horrible. I can't do CIO. I would rather wake up 500 times then let them cry. Mine haven't eaten at night since they were about 6 months but they still wake up for their paci's.

 

First of all, let me just say that I know how hard it is...we did CIO and for the first few nights, I cried right along with them. Consistency is key...just like with anything. I think they are probably waking/nusing out of habit. Going in and just cuddeling them won't do it either (but that is JMO of course). Then they will cry just so you come and cuddle with them. My DS has my up 10-12 times a night to reinsert his paci UGH...it was crazy. After a few rocky nights, he learned to sooth himself back to sleep. Before the paci thing, he was up 4-5 times per night to eat (even though he didn't need to eat). They will learn to get what they need during day time hours so you can sleep! I know how hard it is...hang in there (if you think you can). We decided NOT to call it CIO...we called it "Sleep Training" because that is really what it is. Babies are creatures of habit, and you are trying to create a new habit for them (and YOU)...STTN!!!!
I know you can do it!

 

So like you I couldnt do it-I did the go in after 5min, then 10min and I picked up and hugged and then put down and just to prepare you my dd didnt out grow waking up to be comforted unitl she was maybe 2!!! It really didnt bother me that much to get up for a minute a couple times to give my girl a little hug. After using that method for a couple times she stopped crying and would go to sleep after a minute of snuggle time.
I know CIO works but I cant stand to hear my kids cry...I am a wuss! That is why I did the modified gentle CIO, it would break my heart to think they were scared or alone-which I know in no way has any long term affect on them and can be very effective.
I chose the other route and paid for it by not getting to sleep all night, but I usually dont anyway-I get up and peak in on them even when they are sleeping soundly
Good luck!

 

You are not a bad mommiy or bad person. You need to do what is right for you, whatever that is. I feel like a bad mom because I am doing CIO (down to one feedng a night now). If you can handle getting up with them you have my praises....I wish I could have. Best of luck!!!

 

I think it is about your comfort level. If you are fine with getting up in the middle of the night then do it. We did extinction with Evie recently b/c she had gotten in the habit of waking to eat b/c I nurse whenever they want when sick and she just got over an ear infection. It took 2 nights and it was hard BUT this am she woke happily at 7am after going to bed at 6:45. i do not want to get up during the night because I am dragging the next day and am really not as patient as I need to be with my 3 year old ds after getting up and down at night. Plus, I did a ton of reading and thought 9 months seemed to be the magic number so I made my goal 9 months and stuck to it. I think you have to do what you want to do. Our ped reminded me that it will be harder to cio as they get older and I agree. We did it with Aidan and Annalise when they were younger but I waited with Evie...(she has had 4 ear infections since Christmas and I didn't want to take a chance she was sick again). It certainly was longer jags of crying than the other 2 but it did only take 2-3 nights.
Again, do what you are comfortable with and remember they will survive CIO even though it doesn't feel like they (or you) will and they will be better sleepers for it!

 

You have to do what is best for you! If you are frustrated, they are going to sense that too and they just may not be ready yet

 

You are not a bad mommy. You will know when the time is right. :hug99:

 

Hi there! First of all, I think you're a wonderful mom to still be nursing!! I know what you mean about the CIO. We've resorted to implementing it a few times with one of our girls and it got pretty ugly. My husband is more tolerant of the CIO. One time it got so bad that I left and went to Target and last Friday night I found myself drinking a glass of wine to tolerate the crying. I agree with others that you need to do what feels right for you! Honestly, the only reason that we've done it with one of our girls is that sometimes she's so wide awake and soothing just doesn't work on her.

BTW, I would love to still meet up sometime when your schedule allows. Your boys are so precious!!

 

You don't need to worry about 'disappointing' us; you need to do what you're comfortable with. My girls were waking 3x/night each til they were 7 months; we went through about ten days of stretching it out by patting them instead of picking them up and feeding each time. They were still waking 2x/night each and at 11 months (they were 9.5 adjusted) I had had enough. For me it was an incredibly difficult decision - but i had TWO minor car accidents in two weeks and I knew that physically I could no longer handle the sleep deprivation (but i'm also much older than you so my body is way more ragged out!).

You don't need to worry about pleasing ANYone with how you raise your boys; not your mother, not your MIL, not anyone - it needs to be the decision taht you and DH make. I know my DH was ready to do CIO months ago - and I wasn't. I will say that it took about a week but now they sleep beautifully and I have gotten more than four consecutive hours for the first time in about fifteen months!

I do agree w/pp who said that consistency is the key. Timingwise I waited until they had gotten over being sick (although I once let D cry for TWO HOURS in the middle of the night because i kept thinking that she was 'almost there'....she had had a cold and got so worked up and i felt AWFUL about it and thought I'd NEVER be able to do it.

I, too, prefer to think of it as Sleep Teaching (personally I don't like to use 'training' - it makes me feel like my girls are dogs, but that's just my craziness!).....they needed to learn to get to sleep and to get back to sleep. And now I know that something is wrong if they get up so I do go in; apply orajel, give a cuddle, sometimes even feed if they need it. And i'm ok with that. It might not be the way OTHER people do it, but it's working for us as a family. And that's all you need to focus on.

 

i agree with pp...you have to do what is right for your family & only you will know when you're ready for CIO. that said...when you are ready, sleep training will help them develop healthy habits for years to come. my friends who have avoided sleep training have kids that STILL wake up every night at anywhere between 2-4 years old. i do believe teaching them these skills are important in the long run. but only you know when the time is right to do so.

you are a super mommy....sending zzzzzzzzzzzzz your way, no matter what you decide. oh, and way to go for still nursing!! how do they do if you just comfort in the night & avoid feeding?

 

You most likely tried everything in the book, but I'll just throw out what I do. I let my babies sleep in a warm room with no blankets. All they have is their binkie and their "snuggly" it's a little square blanket that feels like solf fur. when they cry, I go in and put a binkie in their mouth and put the snuggly up to their face. It's almost instantly they start to doze off.

I'm sure you've done this, but I'd thought I throw that out that. good luck, I hope you get some sleep

 

My son still woke up at 17 months. I fell into the trap of thinking that he would do it on his own (some babies do, just not my ds ). I finally did something about it when I started to resent it (I did not use CIO, but there were some tears). If you are okay with one night waking for 9 months olds (which is not that uncommon), then don't worry about what others may think (and I don't think anyone here thinks you are a bad mom). I know the experts say most babies STTN by 3 - 6 months, but I know alot of people this is not true for. STTN is not by any means a prerequisite to being a good parent. STTN has so much more to do with our culture then it does to do with our babies. In other cultures people would never think to ask "do they sleep through the night yet?" It just does not matter as much. However, if in a few months, you are resenting it, CIO does not have to be your first option. There are many other things you can do that you may feel more comfortable with. You are doing a great job and way to go on nursing twins for 9 months!