CIO: going in makes it worse! (Day 2 Update)

I started CIO last night. I think that Joe would have gone back to sleep a lot faster if I hadn't been going in at the suggested (Ferber) times.

Did you stick to the recommended times each night, or do something different?


ETA: OMG...They slept through!
Night 2, down at 8pm, slept straight through without a single peep until 6am! I can't believe I waited this long to do this. Hopefully it wasn't a fluke occurrence!

 

I started CIO last night. I think that Joe would have gone back to sleep a lot faster if I hadn't been going in at the suggested (Ferber) times.

Did you stick to the recommended times each night, or do something different?


ETA: OMG...They slept through!
Night 2, down at 8pm, slept straight through without a single peep until 6am! I can't believe I waited this long to do this. Hopefully it wasn't a fluke occurrence!

 

For me, what CIO we did, going in would make it worse. So, I never went in unless I thought something was wrong (other than not wanting to go to sleep) or crying too long.

 

When we did CIO we never went in for the same reason...it only made it worse-they figure out pretty quickly that all they have to do is cry for a certain time and you'll be back.....we never went in and it worked great.....good luck-its very hard to handle, but so worth it in the end!!

 

I never went back in unless they were really screaming or it was a different cry (a hurt cry, a dirty cry, a burp cry, etc.) or it went on for too long (probably more than 20 mins of straight crying not fussing when they were that age). Normally I made it worse to go in. So I tried to give them the longest time possible to go to sleep. It normally worked pretty well before 20 mins. If they were just fussing I would let it go for almost 45 mins sometimes as long as it didn't go to crying. Good Luck!

 

quote:
For me, what CIO we did, going in would make it worse. So, I never went in unless I thought something was wrong (other than not wanting to go to sleep) or crying too long.

Same here.

 

I never go back in ... it definitely makes it worse, especially once they get older. My oldest sometimes has temper tantrums before I put her down (wrong book, wrong stuffed animal, etc.) and I have been advised to leave her, otherwise she's going to think she can get away with it all. It has been working great. She gives up in no-time!

 

I never went in unless I thought something was wrong


That is what I did! 99% of the time they went to sleep on thier own

 

Thanks for your feedback, ladies...everytime I went in it was recharging his "angry" battery and starting the process over from zero.

When you're reading up on the process, it makes sense to go in at those intervals to soothe. The extinction method sounded cruel to me, but when it's not soothing for either party to continue going in, I think extinction is actually less cruel than continually teasing them! I'm sure that's not how everyone feels, but it's the case for our situation.

SPG

 

quote:
The extinction method sounded cruel to me, but when it's not soothing for either party to continue going in, I think extinction is actually less cruel than continually teasing them!

I agree! It depends on the baby, but I think most babies will get more worked up when you go in there, than if you were to just let them cry, within reason, of course!

 

That is great that they slept through on the 2nd night! Be prepared for them to cry some more, but if they sleep through for several days straight, you're probably home free!

I never tried Ferber, just did "cold turkey" CIO (which I guess is the extinction method). I had already learned that going in made it worse. We always say that it re-sets the clock as far as how long they are going to cry. I think the soothing just makes the parents feel better. But my twins were always pretty resistant to being soothed to sleep. When they were tiny, of course they would fall asleep being held, but after about 4-5 months, the only way to get them to fall asleep was to leave them alone. (This is still true, BTW.)

 

Yep, going in makes it worse but you can't just tell someone that you have to let them believe it for themselves!!

YAY FOR SLEEP!!! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Our ped. said to let them cry until they throw up and clean them up and let them cry some more. He was basically telling me I had to play tough ball . . . I don't think he meant to be that insensitive. I think you have to be ready to CIO in order to do it effectively.