CIO for James...

Hi everyone. I just read through the CIO section in the First Year Handbook and it was very helpful. Our James has gone from being an amazing sleeper to being awake and ready to party much of the night. As a young baby be was able to fall asleep on his own - we swaddled, put him in his crib and he always fell asleep without any fuss, sometimes just laying quietly for up to 30 minutes first. He has been going 12 hours without food at night since about 3.5 months.

Lately he's been another baby completely. It's crazy, but Evan, our colicky baby, has turned into a great night sleeper and James has gone from bad to worse over the last few weeks. At first I thought it was teething pain, but even tylenol doesn't help. He gets a good amount of daytime sleep (usually a 1.5 or 2 hour nap in the a.m. and a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon - with a 3rd nap top-up if he's cranky at the end of the day), he's healthy, he's comfortable (I think - the temp. in the room is great, the white noise machine is blocking out any irritating sounds, he's swaddled from the waist down) but he fights going down to bed and he wakes throughout the night, ready to party. He's not unhappy when he wakes (at first), he's not hungry - he just wants to play. And when he realizes that my husband and I DO NOT want to play he gets upset. The last two nights the only way I could get any sleep out of him was to bring him into bed with me, which I HATE because I can't sleep at all with a baby in bed.

Anyway, I follow HSHHC (except I've never let the babies cry) and today my husband was so fed up from last night that he sat down and read it. Well, he was enthusiastic about trying to let James learn to get himself to sleep. I'm so desperate to have my happy, good sleeper back that, although it hurts to hear my baby cry, I went along with it. At bedtime we bathed him, massaged him, fed him, snuggled him and then put him gently into his crib (at 6:30 - a very reasonable bedtime, I think). I patted him bum and kissed him on the cheek and then left the room. He started to cry and it broke my heart, but I resisted the urge to go back into the room. I had to go out onto the front porch and read HSHHC to keep myself calm and I kept sending my husband in to see if James was still crying. James was really, really sad - he's never cried for longer than a few minutes in his whole life (I always go to him) so I'm sure he was shocked not to see me running into the room. He cried for 22 minutes (I never heard from Evan - I guess he slept through the whole thing) and now their room is silent.

Anyway, I am crossing my fingers for the rest of the night. This is one of the hardest things I've done as a parent so far!

 

I did CIO with my son for naps, I too read the HSHHC book, and felt it was the right thing to do for his temperament, nothing else was working. He went from taking forever to go to sleep, with me constantly trying to sooth him, only to take a 20 minute nap and wake up screaming.....to two weeks after CIO, goes down with less than two minutes of crying, if that, and taking a great nap (hour or more), and waking up happy! It was a great thing for us, but I respect anyone who doesn't feel it's right for their baby.

My son wakes up in the middle of the night wide awake too sometimes, but not often enough for it to be a big deal. If it was happening freqently at this age, I would let him CIO then too, after I'm sure he's not poopy, or something else.

I knew I was doing the right thing because honestly it didn't even make me want to cry, because I was so frustrated that he wasn't getting the precious sleep that he needed.

CIO is not for everyone or every baby... trust your mommy instinct!


Hugs, Jennifer

 

Just an update, James cried for 22 minutes at bedtime and we didn't hear from him again until 6 a.m. this morning. My husband thought we should not to go into the room until 6:30 (our ideal wake up time is 6:30 or 7:00) but I went in at 6:15 and gave James the biggest kiss in the world!

I hope we have success tonight (my book says the second night can be harder). My Mum wanted to come over this evening but I asked her not to. She always says "I never let my babies cry and they always slept through the night - I only ever had three night wakings with three kids" so I don't think she'll be very helpful!

 

Yeah, don't let mom come over and send you on a guilt trip.

22 minutes is great! I hope the 2nd night is better for you, not worse.

 

We did CIO with Ashley at 7 months and really the first night was the worse, do hopefully James will sleep like a baby for the second night....

 

So good to hear! We have to remember ALL babies are so different, with such different termperaments! Your mom probably had three babies like my Lilly. I swear if I didn't have Owen I would think mommies that let their babies cry were mean, horrible people!

 

We have a 15min rule and so far, they don't cry past 15 so I guess I've been lucky. Good luck and I hope things get better!

xox
Mariel

 

I am so glad to hear it went well for you. Trust your mommy instincts..you are obviously a great mom! I hope tonight goes as well! Keep us posted.

Amy

 

Last night was about 24 minutes, tonight was 7. Thanks for your support.

 

I have been doing this for 6 months now and now hardcore. It is hard but it will work. I think that my guys even though they still need CIO occasionally, they are much much better than they used to be and actually will fall asleep after crying for a bit (usually 15-20 min). :hug99: Just wanted to say, YOU CAN DO THIS!

And I am so glad the Handbook helped you. What I great thing to hear! :Clap:

 

Last night the boys woke up hysterical around 11:00 p.m. We tried to wait it out but their cries just got more and more intense - they seemed to be setting each other off. Neither could get back to sleep, probably because they could hear their crying brother. I was worried something was really wrong so I went in to just pat their backs. They were fine while I was in the room, but hysterical as soon as I left. This went on for an hour before I finally separated them (Evan came into the Pack and Play in our room). Then we finally got some sleep. It was the worst experience I've had with the babies so far and I just don't know what to do if it happens again.

 

I haven't had to do CIO at night luckily, but do with naps. Your experience last night sounds like one woke the other and then it just escalated. When that happens I do the same thing you did, seperate them and they usually go to sleep. Try not to stress about it, and if it happens again just do the same thing, and hopefully you won't have to worry about it becoming a habit.