CIO for every nap, 3 naps a day for the past 4 months

Lily is 7 months old today and I really thought she would grow out of this. I know I post about this all of the time but Lily is absolutely killing me with her pre-nap/bedtime screamfests. SHE WAILS before every nap AND before bedtime and this has been going on for months now. As I have mentioned before I cannot rock her to sleep or do anything like that. She plays keep awake and will play with your hair or the rocking chair or anything she can to keep awake. I simply do not understand how I am supposed to listen to my sweet little baby scream her head off four times a day every day (three naps and bed). It really just seems unreal to me. I know that I am lucky that she is healthy and vibrant and all of that stuff but, it is killing me.

I feel like there is something else I should be doing to help her put herself to sleep. I thought that after you CIO with them they are supposed to learn. Well, we have been going through this every day for the past 4 months and I don't understand why she is still at it. She knows by now that we are not coming in. It can take anywhere from 3 minutes of screaming to 30 minutes of screaming and now that she can sit up she just sits up in the crib and falls over and sits up again all the while screaming. She has been able to sit for weeks now and she is still not over it. I am terrified now that she is pulling up to standing on things and once she starts to pull up to stand on the crib rails I don't think she will ever sleep again.

I try to tell my husband how much it bothers me to hear her wailing her heart out everyday and he says "oh, she just doesn't want to stop playing." I am like, duh - but I CANT BEAR TO HEAR HER SCREAM anymore. I swear I am just going to stop putting her down for naps because I have really really had enough.

What the heck are we going to do when she starts being able to walk and climbs out of her crib. She HATES sleeping soooo much and starts screaming the minute we start up the stairs to her room. I feel like I am hurting her when I put her in her crib - she looks at me and cries like she is losing her best friend.

What the heck am I supposed to do? I feel like the worse parent in the world letting her scream her brains out up there but it is the only way. She won't even take a paci.

She is also teething now which makes it worse. She cut her two bottom teeth this week and did not have a very easy time of it.

Sorry for the vent but I obviously cannot talk to DH about it.

Amy

 

I am not sure what you can do about it. Have you talked to your pedi about it....maybe they have some suggestions. I hope this passes soon!

April

 

Oh, that must be so tough! :hug99:

My DS has always been a major sleep fighter too. He STILL doesn't go down for a nap without, um, sharing his opinion of it. But there's hope for your little girl - my DS has gotten much better. He used to be a screamer, now it's usually mainly fussing and babbling. I don't know what to tell you except time and consistency. If CIO is the only way she'll get the sleep she needs, then you are doing the right thing. Even if it breaks your heart.

Just think, someday she'll be a teenager and you'll need a crowbar to get her out of bed!

 

I feel for you - that is really tough. James fights sleep as well. We don't let him cry going down for naps/bedtime but if he wakes during the night we don't go to him. He cried like crazy for the first while, but now he seems to realize that night is for sleeping. I was SOOO sensitive to his cries during the sleep training process (earlier this month) that I actually went to sleep in the basement and left my husband to deal with it. But since your baby has been crying at bedtime for months that's not really an option - you'd have to move into your basement. My James is a really wired baby. He plays hard and he's developing new skills at an incredible rate. He's also a real mama's boy. I think these factors contribute to his reluctance to go to bed. He doesn't want to miss anything, he wants to practice all of his new tricks, and he wants to be with mama. My husband has been off the last month and he has totally taken over getting James to sleep. We always do about 15 minutes of wind-down time before naps/bed. That includes stories on our bed, with sleep sacs and pacis. Both of my boys really need this time to slow down. Evan can just be put down in his bed after this (well, actually he's sleeping in a pack and play in our room these days so James can have the nursery to himself, since he's been such a troubled sleeper), but James has to be rocked a little and then we put him in his crib and literally hold him down while we sit beside the crib. Sometimes I leave and go back to find him standing/sitting up and then I have to repeat the process. It's very frustrating and I know we can't go on like this forever.

Anyway, just wanted to send support. Sorry I don't have suggestions. You're not alone.

 

Oh Amy - that must be so hard. I'm so sorry. I know how upsetting it is to me when they cry even a little at bedtime, so I can only imagine how stressful and heart wrenching it is for you. I just immediately tense up and cannot relax until they are sleeping.

Have you tried giving her a toy to play with, a CD playing in the background, a lovey or one of those rainforest or aquarium things? I'm just trying to think of anything that may distract her until she falls asleep. On the flip side, is there too much in her crib or going on in the room that she might be overstimulated an unable to wind down?

I'm sure that after months of crying you've thought of and tried everything, but just my thoughts.

Good Luck and Hugs,
Szi

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. :hug99: For the teething, do you give tylonel and orajel? We used teething tablets and they are GREAT! It has chamille in it so it helps soothe them as well. At that age, I started putting a lovie and a little book in their cribs. It helps entertain them for a bit and then they fall asleep and it is great when one wakes up before the other in the morning, they have something to play with til the other one wakes up and I go in to get them. Also if she just learned to sit, her body wants her to practice doing this even when she is tired. I believe in CIO, but I believe when they are going through these phases (learning to sit, learning to stand) to go in their room after 10min or so and lay them back down and give them their pacifier and lovey and leave. Their little bodies want to practice and sometimes we need to help lay them back down IMO. BTW, my kids hated naps. I was still doing swings for naps until I could transition them to their cribs which I did by 9 months.

 

The wailing has been going on for us for a long time too. I actually resorted to putting their swing in their room and sometimes one of them still naps in it. It is finally starting to get better though. Dh doesn't understand how much it bothers me to hear them scream, my chest gets so tight I feel like I might have a heart attack after about 2 minutes of the screaming. Also after months of my boys not taking pacifiers I decided to just buy some new ones just for the heck of it and all of a sudden they LOVE them. I bought the MAM 6mo+, those are the only ones they will use(I had never tried them). This has helped eliminate night feedings and made naps easier (they were still nursing 2x/night up until 3 weeks ago :angry: ).

 

I was wondering if you have something in the crib to soothe/distract her as well -- we use the Fisher Price soothers with great success, as both of mine just love to watch the little monkey swing -- it's a lot cuter and more "soothing" than the FP aquarium that my older DD used a few years ago. They turn off in 10 minutes or so, but they're pretty easy for babies to figure out if they want to turn it on again.

Also, have you tried giving her a lovey of some sort? I like the Gund comfy cozies -- they're sort of big, but they're part bear, part blanket, and very plush. My DS absolutely loves his, and rolls around with it, and wraps himself in it -- I have a feeling that he will still be dragging it around at age 4, like my older one does with hers! I haven't given one to my younger DD yet, because she's not mobile enough to be able to get out from under it....

 

Sorry you are going through this and i can't send anything but empathy. No suggestions; one would think that she would have learned by now, but - well, every baby is different. We are having our own sleeping issues, but I completely understand how unbearable it is to hear her scream. And it's easy for someone to say that 'she just doesn't want to stop playing' if they're not the one fighting her three times a day for months.

Just hugs and hopefully a breakthrough in the near future!

 

I have been a wuss about CIO, but I finally gave in! I think I may have the male counterpart to your Lily in my Jackson. He can cry for the longest time! No advice, just empathy... :hug99:

 

Have you read any books on CIO and tried a method, or re you just leaving her to cry? If you're just leaving her, please get a book like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child before continuing. 4 months is way too long to subject her to crying if it's not working. Hopefully trying a different CIO method will help.

 

QUOTE(SommerNyte @ Dec 31 2007, 05:41 AM) [snapback]551572[/snapback]
Have you read any books on CIO and tried a method, or re you just leaving her to cry? If you're just leaving her, please get a book like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child before continuing. 4 months is way too long to subject her to crying if it's not working. Hopefully trying a different CIO method will help.



She is 7 months old now. We started at 3.5 months following the advice of our ped. whom pointed out that it was more unhealthy for her to not sleep at all which is what happens if we don't let her CIO. We also started out by using the Ferber method. She generally does not go for too long now but she does wail vs. cry so it seems like forever.

I believe that 7 months is an okay time to let her CIO for naps. She really does pretty well going down for nighttime sleep and if she wakes at night we do feed her - always have, always will.

Amy

 

I don't disagree that 7 months is an OK time to try CIO. I just meant if you've been doing it for 4 months and its still not working, you should try another method. Good luck! :hug99: