CIO for Almost-3-Year-Old?

Melissa has been particularly fussy, particularly particular, and particularly grating on my nerves lately. She's an angel all day (with dramatic exceptions), and then night falls and out of nowhere when it's time to go to sleep, BAM! FREAK OUT!

We took the pacis away last month, which heralded the new no-nap era, but they seem fine, not overtired. So whatever, you'd think. Except as soon as I put her in the crib and read her story, I get to a certain point and she throws her blanket off and yells, "Blanket on!" and I say yes, just a minute, get her blanket on, say good night (Jade sometimes does the "blanket on" bit too, but never as dramatic), and as I'm closing the door she's freaking out. It's like the old days!

Sometimes I go back in, but like with BABIES, it doesn't help, it makes it worse. So tonight I let my little girl cry for an HOUR! AN HOUR! It pained me like it did back then, but it worked back then, and I'm hoping it does again and we can get back to peaceful evenings.

Anyone else, or is this just me and my "special special special" girls?

 

Honestly at this age I think it's even MORE important to be firm and let them CIO when you have to. At this age, unlike at 4 months old, she really DOES understand what you're saying and she KNOWS what the routine is and she is just trying to work it to get what she wants, even though what she needs is another story entirely, KWIM? My girls are a good bit younger than yours, but I have had a few episodes of this sort of thing lately, and even though it was hard to do, I just had to let them cry. For example they threw all of their toys out of the crib and cried because they wanted me to come back and pick them up. I don't mind doing it once, as they used to do it semi-regularly and it seemed like it kind of helped them blow off steam and get settled down. But this was getting ridiculous where they'd throw them back down and start pitching a fit almost as soon I had left the room again, and asking for water, asking for songs, telling me they had poopy diapers, etc., as soon as I came back in the room. All stalling tactics, all designed to just keep mommy in the room and not have to go to sleep. But I know they understand "don't throw the toys on the floor," "I'm not coming back," "no more water," "you have a clean diaper," and "no more songs" you know? So even through they screeched, I just decided after a couple of days that I had to stand firm and just tell them the way it was going to be and then stick to it. They cried a lot for a couple of days (not for a whole hour, though, I don't think, and now they've been going right to sleep without a peep (without even doing their usual 1-hour crib parties first) for the last couple of weeks.

Anyway, yeah, it's hard. But she understands "it's bedtime" and has to learn that's the way it is. What's the other option? Keeping you running in there to fix the blanket every 5 minutes for a few hours every night? That's not really helping her either, KWIM? I know it's hard, but unless you think there really might be something wrong with her, I think you have to let her work out her issues and learn (or rather, remember) how to go to bed. I think she's probably just pushing the limits to see what she can get away with and after a couple of days of you being firm she'll get the message. Good luck! I know it's not easy to listen to them crying, and in a way it's even harder now than it was back in the day.

 

I agree with BettiePage. Your dd needs to know that you still make the rules even when she tries to change them! With the blanket or if she throws something and wants you to give it to her, tell her you'll do it one time before you leave. If she does it again, you won't be back to fix it. She will probably test you but stay strong and she'll soon realize it's not worth it. GL!

 

I'm dealing with the same issue right now. It's so hard to let them cry,but I know they are just testing my patience. Everything has to be just so in their beds,then they scream when I'm walking out the door "Hug...kiss....hug....kiss". Some nights I'm more patient than others,but I know I need to bite the bullet and let them cry. Let me know how your night goes tonight. Good luck!!!!

Crystal

 

:rotflmbo: You crack me up MArie!

I'm sure your girls are very special but I think my kids have gone through stages of suddenly not sleeping as well, esp. if there has been recent changes. Hang in there. I bet it will on be 50 min tonight!

 

I agree with PP, I've had the same sort of scenario with my son. I've altered his routine a little bit and it has helped. I let him go in his room, get in bed and leave his light on for about 20 minutes to read his books or play quietly while I go get finished in the kitchen or go into the bedroom to read. I tell him that If mommy comes back, I'm turning the light out and we're going to sleep. I do my thing, then come back in for hugs and kisses and turn off his light. He usually won't cry or only fuss for a minute or two. I've told him when the light goes off, mommy goes to bed too and I'll see him in the morning. If he cries...not seriously needing something cry, then I don't go back. Once you start going back, it's so NOT GOOD!

Best of luck!

 

Marie, how did bedtime go tonight?

 

QUOTE(BettiePage @ May 11 2007, 08:58 PM) [snapback]252318[/snapback]
Marie, how did bedtime go tonight?


Well, bedtime was better. Same scene but she only cried for ten minutes and I didn't go in. I was STRONG. So we had a good early night.

BUT around 3 AM she started, and I did, and she asked me to sit in the chair in their room, which I was okay with (I can fall asleep in it), but then she kept asking for things and crying, and I realized I was back in it, so I told her, that's it, I'm leaving. We've talked about it today and I've told her it's not okay to wake everyone up and cry for an hour in the middle of the night. And if she does it tonight, we're not going to the zoo tomorrow...

I'm tired today! :angry:

:lazy: <== I so want to be like that guy...

Sweet thing, she keeps saying, "I want to make mommy happy, not sad." I hope she figures out how...