CIO at 9 months: Extinction or Intervals

I never thought I would be facing this dilema. My boys STTN from 3.5 to 7 months...NO night wakings. Since then, they have both been waking up once around 3 or 4 and I nurse them just so that we can all go back to sleep-I know they're not hungry. So the pedi told us they should be sleeping all the way through and I've decided that he may be right. So tonight I tried the interval method (went in after 5 then 10 and so on). It took a total of about 40 minutes for each. I've been looking through some old posts and seeing that some people preferred "total extinction" to interval training but most of the babies were between 4 and 6 months old. So for older babies, which has worked better for you. I feel like mine are getting more worked up when I go in and leave them and I'm wondering if it will just be better to let them get it all out or maybe just go in one time and then let them go. Please HELP! This is the first night and already I hate my life !

 

Going in at intervals makes it much worse IMO. They will just keep waiting for you to come in. I would just get some earplugs and try not to listen. I think it happens much faster if you don't go back in. Good luck!

Reyna

 

I like the idea of going in once, right away, to make sure there's no problem -- and then give each a quick kiss and snuggle, and put them down and whisper, "You're okay, momma's here, but you need to go to sleep...."

Then leave, and let them CIO.

Mind you, I don't always practice what I preach, LOL. Mine are also good sleepers, but on the rare occasion that they do this -- it's usually because of teething, so I go in and give some teething tablets or Motrin. If someone is worked up, I tend to go in every 10 minutes, or I will just bring the crying baby out of the nursery and rock and try to soothe before putting him back down.

But, it doesn't work well! I've found that this way takes *forever* to get someone back down....whereas if I check once, give some Motrin, and then let them CIO, they are usually out within 15 minutes. But, I agree, it's the longest 15 minutes of my life, and I HATE myself while doing it.

ETA -- I also think I remember reading that going in at intervals just teaches the baby that he has to cry for 10 or 15 minutes or whatever before mom comes in.....but, I haven't read much about sleep training, so I may just be blowing smoke here....

 

I would say to try not to go in at all. If you are uncomfortable with this you can give yourself longer intervals so it kind of feels like CIO but with a plan. Maybe say you will go in after 30 minutes. I doubt they will go on for this long and that way you are really doing CIO but you have a time limit so you don't feel so bad. I hope that makes sense. That is what I do and I like it because I can tell myself, while they are crying so pitifully, that I get to go in and hold my baby after 30mintues and it makes me feel better. They almost never go this long so it becomes sort of irrelavent.

Do you have a video monitor? I love mine and it think that it makes letting them CIO much easier because you can see that all is well and they just want mommy.

I don't know if that is helpful. I will say that we are kind of in a weird position at my house because mine never really "learn" from the CIO and my daughter basically cries herself to sleep most nights and naps for about 10 minutes of pretty intense crying. She has done this forever and never really got the whole "CIO for a week and then no more crying" memo.

 

For me, interval training is harder than extinction. I hate doing either one but have a 3 year old and now 2 9 month olds that are living proof it works. I have been doing CIO with a 4 or 5 am feeding with one of the girls and it only took 1 night. Doing the interval training made her CRAZED! Oh my goodness she hated it! I found walking out the door and not returning to be what worked best for us. It isn't easy to do but you can do it

 

I agree with the PPs that the interval method might make it worse. We had to do CIO about a month ago because Jake was waking 3-4 times a night and we were rocking him back to sleep each time. I decided to do intervals and it just wasn't working... it was like he knew that if he would just cry for 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes I would come get him. And when he finally would fall asleep, he would wake up screaming 45 minutes later. I was loosing my mind and my husband put his foot down and said we HAD to give him at least an hour one night before we could go in. So that night when the crying started I seriously felt like I was having a panic attack. I was pacing around the house, I could feel my temperature rising, I kept staring at the clock - I HATE listening to my baby scream! Well, he cried for 20 minutes then stopped and it hasn't happened again since. I wish I had done extinction earlier... I just think older babies are too advanced for the interval method. They know you'll come in eventually. Good luck Larami! Hang in there - it's so tough!

Carrie

 

Thank you so much ladies. This is exactly what I expected to hear. I'll let you know how it turns out. DH and I will be sleeping downstairs tonight

 

We had something similar, only it started around 6 mos & we're now at 8 mos. We did TOTAL EXTINCTION with Aiden this past week & it's finally catching on. Again, it was for night wakings (between midnight-5am). We have a "No getting up before 6am" rule, so he has cried the past few mornings between 5-6am (some mornings it's been 5:45, others it's been 5), but that's MUCH better than getting up on & off from midnight on! WE just turn down the monitor, shut the doors (we can still HEAR him, just muffled), & try to go back to sleep.

Good luck! I found the interval method WAY worse. It'd work him up a lot more & Conner would notice us walk in & then get worked up, so this total extinction is soooo much better! Harder on me, but better for them. I wish I had the video monitor so I could ensure all was well in there, but my DH won't let me . I have snuck in the nursery on all 4s just to peek up over crib rails for my sanity !

Keep us posted!

 

QUOTE(serranoboys @ Mar 30 2008, 04:15 AM) [snapback]694888[/snapback]
I never thought I would be facing this dilema. My boys STTN from 3.5 to 7 months...NO night wakings. Since then, they have both been waking up once around 3 or 4 and I nurse them just so that we can all go back to sleep-I know they're not hungry. So the pedi told us they should be sleeping all the way through and I've decided that he may be right. So tonight I tried the interval method (went in after 5 then 10 and so on). It took a total of about 40 minutes for each. I've been looking through some old posts and seeing that some people preferred "total extinction" to interval training but most of the babies were between 4 and 6 months old. So for older babies, which has worked better for you. I feel like mine are getting more worked up when I go in and leave them and I'm wondering if it will just be better to let them get it all out or maybe just go in one time and then let them go. Please HELP! This is the first night and already I hate my life !


2 weeks ago we did CIO with intervals, but we started with 15, 20 and then 30. I think the first night, Addison cried around 45 minutes and Aidan maybe 20. And for the middle of the night wakings, it was about 45 minutes for the first few times too. Now, they go down and are asleep within 10 minutes. They rarely fuss in the middle of the night and if they do, it's only for 10 minutes.

I thought I would prefer to do extinction because I heard it worked faster, but DH couldn't handle not going in occasionally to make sure they were alright. With extinction, I would be afraid they had gotten in to a weird position or got a leg stuck somewhere or something. Being able to see they are physically ok, just mad at being left in the crib, made things easier for me.

 

oh, it's so hard isn't it? whenever i've gone in to check on them they only scream louder. it really makes them crazy mad to see me. like pp said, sometimes i will go in if i know they are breaking teeth. just tonight i went in & gave dd some motrin. she screamed when i left the room but was asleep within 2 minutes.

hang in there mama...it's ROUGH for a few nights but soooooo worth the zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

I lean toward extinction... but I am not the person to ask... LOL!

Just wanted to offer hugs and wishes for sweet dreams for all of you!!

:hug99: