CIO Advice

My wife and I have a difference of opinion on CIO. Our girls basically sleep through the night starting at 6:30-7:00 with the exception of a couple of times per night one or the other will wake up crying, looking for their pacifier. When this does occur, I typically go in, replace the pacifier, and leave. To me, in the middle of the night, it's easier to go in and give them their paci and let them settle back down (since it allows me to go back to sleep faster), rather than listening to their cries. My wife feels that we'd be better off if we let them CIO and self soothe, so we can end this routine. Has anyone done this, and if so, how long did it take? Is my behavior of replacing the paci creating a worse situaiton for us in the long run? I have also done this during nap time as well, but that's usually not as frequently needed as it is overnight.

 

IMO, their 10 months old, it's time for you all to get some sleep. Eventually you have to stop going in there. They are dependent on you GIVING them their paci. At 10 mo they should be able to do that themselves or at the very least be able to sooth themselves back to sleep. THis habit wont stop if you don't stop it. 4 kids in 3 years, My experience, because you've waited so long, IT MIGHT take a few hard nights to break it. BUT in the end you'll be very glad you did.

 

i can see both sides of the issue, that being said though, we did do CIO for night wakings/paci replacings and it worked out really well. we had a couple nights of crying intermittently and now they both STTN with no waking 99.9% of the time. i'd say in the long run, it is worth it. you could also put bunches of pacis in their cribs so they can easily find one when they wake up at night, that might help. good luck with your decision.

 

I think your wife is right. Think about it this way - how well would you sleep if, every time you woke up overnight, you had to scream and wait for someone to come help you go back to sleep? It's better for your babies' sleep in the long run (not to mention you and DW) for them to have the skill to put themselves back to sleep. My DS is a paci baby, and we solve the problem partially by putting about 10 pacis in his crib with him.

We did CIO at 7 months. DS had never slept through the night, and both babies were fighting going to sleep. After one night of crying to go to sleep and a couple brief periods overnight, DS slept through the night for the first time ever. And he was such a happier baby. I didn't think he was sleeping badly, but you could see the difference in his mood when he started sleeping through the night.

 

We are the opposite of you. I go in through the night when they wake up and put the paci back in. My DH tells me to let them work it out. I figure it's easier for me to go replace the paci and have everyone immediately fall back to sleep, than having one cry, wake the other, wake me, and then everyone is awake until everyone gets settled. It's just what works for me. I have never done CIO for anything and my babies are great! If they were just making a little bit of noise, I left them and they now go back to sleep on their own or they put their own paci back in. If they cry, I still go in. However, they really at this point don't wake me much through the night. I once thought that maybe I wasn't doing the right thing and that I was never going to get through a night without going up. But it has worked out fine and I'm really happy with the way it was handled. I'm just not one that was ever going to be able to do CIO. I know it works great for some, but luckily I never needed to do this. Good luck with your decision!

 

I think you will have to let them work it out for themselves at some point. When that point will be, is totally up to you & your wife. I think everyone needs to be on board & in agreement if you choose to CIO, now or later.

 

This is Lisa responding now. Thanks to all for your input. I totally agree that my husband and I need to be on board with the same decision. We've disagreed on this so long that I quite simply put the matter on hold and let him do what he wants to do. I know CIO will not be effective if we don't agree and stick to a single game plan. Hopefully this will help us put this matter to rest.

I just want our daughters to have the ability to soothe themselves since it's important to their development.

 

Speaking from someone who got up 2-3 times a night to play the paci reinsert game for about 6 months, I'm going to say let them work it out now. You are already used to sleepless nights and it is less painful now than it will be when they just wake up once a week.

 

I would put a bunch of pacis in the crib and let them CIO.