Christmas disagreements...

DH is really grating on my nerves right now. All I keep hearing is, "The kids have wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many toys! It's ridiculous! When I was growing up(isn't this phrase supposed to be from our parents ONLY?), all I had was legos. And I played with them for hours. If I was into planes, I built a plane out of legos. If I was into firefighters, I built a fire truck. You can make whatever you want. When we had Christmas, I got one gift from my parents and one gift from Santa. THAT'S IT."

Well la-di-da, aren't we special. Seriously. Can't we say, "Hey Meg. I really appreciate the thought you are putting into the kids' gifts. You really are doing a great job trying to make it special for them!" Or something along those lines?!?! Instead all I hear are complaints complaints complaints. We got them too much. We spent too much. We have no room. They are spoiled. We are teaching them to want, want, want. And I'm totally honest when I say, we have NEVER had a tantrum because we were at a store and my kids wanted something from the store. They don't ask. And throughout the year, we don't get them toys. Never.

DH is at work M-F, 9-5. He says, "I never see them play with x, y, z." Well of course. You are at work all day. When you come home, it's dinner, watch a show, and put to bed. How often are you in the playroom PLAYING? Two to three nights/week is not the greatest way to judge. I am home all day with them. I have a better understanding of what they play with vs. what they don't.

Now, don't get me wrong-we do have A TON of toys. A lot I need to weed through before Santa shows up. I will be watching a baby come February, so some things I am hesitant to get rid of(baby toys). I know there are toys we can definitely get rid of, and that I have a hard time of letting go of all of them, for various reasons. And dh DOES play with them. He really does. I don't know. Sometimes I think the toys are more for me. LOL!

For Christmas, the boys are getting:

Nicholas:
Playmobil plane(Santa)
Imaginext Toy Story Dump Truck

Anthony:
Imaginex Air Carrier(Santa)
Imaginex Hamm/Buzz

Together:
Black and Decker Tool Bench(Santa)
150 blocks from Imaginarium
Step 2 Art Desk(more for the three of them)

Annabella:
Doll
Stroller
Snap dog
Little Tikes Market(Santa-and more for the three of them).

The market, I think is a bit much, we have the 50's Diner. But hey-it was DH who thought of it. I really don't think their gifts are overboard. Maybe they are. But I also like to get things that last a long time, which is what the tool bench(hopefully!) and the art desk are. And even the market will be too. And my boys got some other Imaginex toys for their birthday and they play with them every.single.day. To hear him complain constantly about it just puts me in a rotten mood. Here I am excited and happy. And he's Debbie Downer. The kids are SUPER excited about Christmas. This year they REALLY get it. And I just feel like he's raining on the parade a bit.

OK. Vent done. If you even read 1/3 of it, I'm impressed!

 

First off, I don't think that's an exorbitant amount of gifts at all. Three or four gifts per child is completely reasonable. And it sounds like your kids really do play with all of their toys and enjoy them and if you don't buy them toys throughout the year that seems way more than reasonable to me!

I personally think to ask the kids to make everything out of Legos is a bit much...I get his point though...how much "stuff" do kids (or any of us for that matter) really need? However, I get your point more. You are home all day and you witness firsthand what the kids are and aren't doing. I think your opinion counts more. And besides, it's Christmas! It's the one time of the year--outside of birthdays--that kids get so excited for...why not spoil 'em a little!


Would it be possible to have DH really and truly observe the kids in action one day playing with their toys (ie YOU get out of the house for a bit to get a manicure or a cup of coffee and some "me" time) and then he can see the kids play and maybe he'll change his tune?

 

Personally, when I look at your list, I see quality rather than quantity. I think that the volume is reasonable for the number of kids you have. 3 kids means 3x's as many gifts. And, you did cut down by purchasing a number of group gifts. You definitely exerted more self control than I did! Give yourself a pat on the back.

 

Hmmm, are we married to the same man?! :lol: I go through the exact thing every year, I love to make Christmas special & I love for them to get things that make them happy and that we wouldn't normally buy them throughout the year. Whatever I do, Mike always feels is too much. But he has learned over the years to just let me have Christmas because it makes me happy & he now keeps his comments to a minimum. I think your list sounds reasonable to me, hopefully he will come around when he sees how happy & excited they are on Christmas morning!

 

Is he the type to donate lots of toys to make room for anything at Christmastime?

Would he change his tune any if the toys were Free instead of new&bought?

I got my guys the Matchbox trucktransporter that carries cars, garage, and a pair of pjs each. Everything else was from Freecycle. Well other than their stocking which is just toothbrushes, little stuff like that.

 

Oh man that's nothing. You should see my list (or probably not, lol!). But IMO it's perfectly reasonable when you're a SAHM to get more - after all, your kids will spend a lot more time at home than a kid who goes to daycare or school. Maybe it's because their birthday was only 2 months ago though, and it seems pretty overwhelming to your dh to get more stuff so soon... but you need enough to keep them busy until next October too. And seriously, it's not your dh that will spend long winter days with your kids trying not to go nuts. My kids' birthday is 2 months after Christmas too and it does seem like a whole lot at once, but we have to last all year.

Depends on what they get from your family too. My kids are not getting much at all, if anything, so I bought more. Plus I don't believe that you can teach a 3yo to 'want, want, want'. Maybe when they're closer to 4 and they give you a huge list of things they want and you buy every single thing LOL. But definitely not now.

And yes get rid of some stuff in the meantime if you can... I need to do the same thing!

But yeah I would be really upset if my dh reacted the way yours does, that stinks. I hope he won't ruin Christmas for you!

 

I some how missed this thread earlier, but your DH sounds like me. LOL! I have found that I seem to be a bit of a toy miser compare to my Mommy counterparts That's said, even though I seem to have the same attitude as him, I didn't think the quantity of things was that bad.

I think Irisflower has a great idea. If he's worried about clutter, you guys could have the kids all pick a few toys to donate to charity or give to their friends or something. I'm definitely doing this for clutter reasons, but also because I want the boys to get into the spirit of giving.