I'm sure this has been asked before, so sorry in advance. :blush: We're having a few issues with finding chores for Andrew (who's nine). Over the weekend, I bought him a dry erase board that has the days of the week on it. I thought it would be a good visual for him so he knows what needs to be done each day as well as what we'd like him to do on certain days (does this make sense at all?). It came with magnets too, so I can post reminders or other messages just for him instead of posting them on our family calendar since he seems to really want some independence from his brothers. Now that he's in fourth grade, his teachers are really pushing individual responsibility and asking parents to also stress this at home. I also really want him to take pride in these tasks, though that might be too much for him at this age! :lol: So, I'd love some suggestions for what he can do at home, as well as some tips on giving him a schedule that teaches him about responsibility.
I've been thinking about this. Mine are younger than yours, so I'm not sure how helpful I'll be. Since the goal seems to be individual responsibility from the teachers, that what I would focus on. Making sure he sets out his own clothes, makes his own bed, gets his own backpack ready, does his own homework, etc. Make him responsible for him. I'll admit that I'm hesitant to give too many chores with school going on. I'm not at all sure about allowances. I was raised with them. My dh was raised without them, but with a small family business where he could work as much as he wanted and earn his own money. Marissa
My boys are younger than yours, so this may not be all that helpful. We tried a weekly calendar with chores, and they were interested for a week or two, but then forgot about it. So, I tried a different tact. We now have a jar of chores with prices on them (cleaning the bathroom = $3). They can pick one or two a week. On top of that, they are responsible for keeping their room clean, clearing their dishes, picking up toys, etc. This seems to work better. I like Marissa's idea of things your son needs to be responsible for, and maybe on top of that you could introduce one larger job a week: dishes, laundry, cooking a meal. Get him started on learning how to run a household. Emphasize how he gets to work on something special because he is older and that you can trust him, etc.
Maybe you can discuss the different chores/ household responsibilities together. Ask him which chores he would like to choose. If he likes it (as much as one can actually LIKE a chore), he will be more likely to it without too much complainig. Also, you can discuss together what a fair allowanc would be. I know several families that the kids can spend 1/2 of their weekly allowance on whatever they want and have to put 1/2 into their savings or piggy bank. I think I would stress that initially you will help him remember his chores, but if you have to continue to hound him, he will not earn his allowance. Good Luck!
Thank you all so much for the ideas! I still haven't quite figured it out, but we're working on it. I've noticed that his attitude has improved quite a bit with the few tasks he does have, even if he does need reminders here and there. Ellen, I really like the jar idea! I think that will work great here, especially when the little ones are old enough to start taking on responsibilities of their own! I probably should have mentioned that I have a really hard time doling out tasks for my DH and the kids. When I was little, my parents were really hard on me and left me to do a lot of the housework since they both worked full-time. I'm grateful for it in a lot of ways, but I'm also SO afraid to put that burden on my children knowing how it felt for me at that age. Thank you again, so much!
laundry is a good one i think. my (almost) 8 year olds make their beds every day, put all of their dishes that they use in the dish washer after rinsing them off 1st, put all of their dirty clothes in the laundry basket, pick up their playroom & bedrooms & answer us yes ma'am/sir as their "every day" responsibilities. they also each do a larger chore once a week like fold clothes or unload the dish washer. we do a point system in which if they complete all of their responsibilities every day they get one tally mark. each mark is worth a dollar. once they get 10 marks they can spend their money. i also encourage them to save it rather than spend it all at once and keep an envelope with each of their names on it in my sock drawer with whatever money they are saving & we set goals to reach (either a dollar amount or a specific item that they want).