Children Visitors? First week home.

Well, next Wednesday is the BIG day!!
Woo-Hoo!!
Anyway, my SIL will be here with my niece and nephews, 4, 6, and 8.
We have decided she will stay elsewhere, but of course wants to see the babies.
She keeps saying things about the kids holding the babies.
What do you think about this??
Her kids are ALWAYS sick, I swear and I am paranoid that they will carrying something and will pass it on to our little ones.
I have a call into the Ped to see what advice she will offer, but want some advice from you and if I am going to say "sorry, no kids", then how do I say it or make my husband u/s the importance that he tells his sister this.
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****MODS PLEASE LINK TO FIRST YEAR***

 

Just got a call from the Ped office.
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Since the babies are not technically patients yet and for legal reasons(Florida is a very litigious state) they cannot offer ANY advice.
HELP!!

 

i personally would let your SIL know that the first few weeks home are the most critical for your babies. when i had all 3 of mine i wouldn't let anyone but immediate family in to hold them because my dr advised me to keep too many people from holding them at frist. babies are very susseptible to germs and can catch things very easily. they can even catch things from other adults. so i would set a few guidelines.
1.) if there the slightest hint of a cough or cold say NO!
2.) before they hold your babies they must have taken baths and keep their hands washed!
3.) no perfumes or colognes should be used around your babies. they may be too strong for them.
4.) and just remember that some babies can bruise easily and the more they are held the more they bruise. my sons use to get a light purple color around their shoulders and every time i would pick them up they would be real fussy. they don't break but they can get sore too.
5.) and i can't stress enough! KEEP HANDS CLEAN AT ALL TIMES!!!

i hope this helps a little.
lots of love!
meshell

 

I would be careful as well. Do what YOU feel comfortable with. Maybe the kids could see the babies but just not hold them? There will be plenty of opportunities later for that as the babies get older. I would think your SIL would understand and want what's best for the babies. Explain to her that they aren't 40 weekers and may be even more susceptible to germs than the average newborn. Keep some hand sanitizer right inside your front door and make sure EVERYONE uses it upon arrival. Even the kids. They may not be holding the babies but they'll be touching other stuff.

Bummer about the Ped office not even talking to you about this! Maybe you could at least call the nurses line at the hospital to get some ideas from them?

 

Nope, I wouldnt let anyone but my own children before they got their first shots. Its just too risky for me, even if my kids were full term Id still feel the same way

 

The first week home, you want it quiet and peaceful. The children will definitely not allow that. I do agree with pp in keeping the hand sanitizer by the door. We hand it to all our guests, or let them wash their hands before they even sit down. They all know why, and now get to hold the babies.

Just tell her that it is in the best interest for the babies that the children do not come.

 

I completely understand your concern. When I had my first son (2 weeks before Thanksgiving) I did not want to bring him around his cousins because they were always sick. Nor did I want to bring them to my mother in laws because she smokes inside. All **** broke loose. They accused me of being an over protective mother. They made me feel so bad I caved in. Thank goodness I am away from that family now and I have very good understand nurse for a mother in law now! Do what you think is best beacuse if I had to do it all over again I would have had a back bone and stuck by my first mind. Yes, you should have dh tell his sister that way you are not put in the middle.

 

Ask the nurses/doctors at the hospital after you deliver. Chances are good that one of them will say, no way, no children are allowed to be around your babies until they're X weeks old....doctor's orders.

Good luck!

 

I was strict on this also... even with adults I was. If there is any sign of sickness, just say I am sorry, please come over when you are feeling better.

 

I'd keep all kiddos away from my newborns for at least the first 30 days.

Teri D

 

I think its easier to not have the kids come at all. You can say "no touching" but they get so anxious and want to so bad and its just hard to say sorry 80 times while they are there, and there's a chance you will feel the pressure from your SIL and the kids and just give in. I would send her home with pictures! Good luck My pedi said no visitors (execept like our parents and brothers & sisters) so it made it easier for me...I got to blame it on him!

 

I totally would not want the children around and certainly wouldn't let them hold the babies. I would blame it on the doctor! I still do that now. Good luck! Taking care of YOUR babies (and YOU) is the most important thing once the babies arrive.

 

I also would say no to kids holding them. Even for adults, I think it is a good idea to always have a receiving blanket around them when they are being held by visitors.

 

Tell your DH that RSV season is here & that babies can DIE from it! We had no visitors & we never went out of the house except for DR visits. Our pedi would let us in the back entrance & always scrubbed the room we used. I think they were almost 5 months old before I took them out of the house for anything other than dr visit. In my opinion, kids are carriers of many types of viruses. Tell her to come alone & scrub up before touchign or dont' come at all. Your babies lives depend on it, RSV is a real disease & has killed to many babies. Congrats on the babies!

 

I really thought I was too strict when my girls were born, but now I'm starting to think I wasn't. We didn't have any small children come, I think the youngest was 12, and that was my sister. We got some of that quikcare stuff from the hospital, the stuff that hangs on the walls outside the door for you to use before going in a room, and made everyone use it up to their elbows. We didn't go to church until they had their shots at 8 weeks, in fact we didn't go anywhere until after shots, except for where we had to, like 2 week checkup and such. We didn't restrict any adults from seeing them no matter if they were immediate family or a great aunt, unless they were sick, and our kids were healthy as can be...in fact they have been pretty healthy their whole life (all 14 months of it, hee, hee)

 

Our pedi said no school age children for the first 3 months. Also, if someone in a family is sick no-one from that family can visit for a week after everyone is symptom free. Others might be carriers and not feel any symptoms yet. You might also ask all visitors on the phone before they even arrive if they are feeling ok ro might have a cold coming on. I was surprised how many relatives were ready to visit although they had a cold.
My babies were full term with no issues born August and still those were the dr's orders. My niece who is 10 got to look at them from the door of the room when they were about 1 month old, she knew this before she came and was old enough to understand why this was necessary. That was the best I was willing to do.
Do what you feel comfortable with. I've found when I say "dr's orders" people respect it more than if I say "I don't feel comfortable with this".
Noone else will feel the anguish you will feel if your babies get sick and noone will stay up all night caring for them so that makes you the boss.
Have a great birth! I bet you can't wait to see your babies

 

We don't let any hold babies that are sick and no children until they are 4 - 5 months. I say it in a way like, "Just me being a paranoid mom" or "As per the Pedi..."

 

Your SIL has children of her own--so I would imagine she understands the risks involved with newborns...or at the very least how it feels to be a "paranoid" first-time mom. It should only take one comment from your DH to her for her to "get it" and immediately make adjustments. I'm sure she's very reasonable and would not be offended by that.

Reyna

 

I REALLY hope she understands.
She has three children, but she doesn't believe in vaccinations(to each his own).
I guess I will just use the Dr as the excuse or should I say DH can do that.

 

quote:
but she doesn't believe in vaccinations(to each his own).

This is huge! Not only could they be carrying run of the mill viruses, but things like rubella or whooping cough!! Just tell her (or have dh tell her) that the ped says no children under X (pick a number that works for you ) and no one that isn't up to date with vaccines until they are much older. Good luck!

 

Let's see...How do I put this delicately...

NO FREAKING WAY!!!

 

Yeah, the whole vaccination thing---or lack thereof adds a whole new level of risk to your sweet babies. At this point whether or not she's offended I think you'd better just put the health of the twins first! Tell DH to do the dirty work, and then let us know how it goes!

Reyna

 

Thank you for letting me know that I am not crazy.
I also had a few of my close girlfriends get some advice from their pediatricians and they are all in agreement that these children should not be around the twins until at least after the first two months.
I have been advised to have DH tell them that the Dr and hospital state that the babies are not be around any children w/out current shots.
Also, if SIL balks at that, I was told to remind her that just as she has chosen to do what she feels is in her children's best interest(no vaccines), we are also looking out for our children's best interest!!
If she doesn't understand, TOUGH!!!

 

Guess I am a dissenting opinion.

when our dd was born, we were at church with her 2 days later.
being that I had 2 older kids when the babies were born I really don't see the big deal if your babies are healthy, the kids are not sick. I really don't think there is anything wrong with them looking at the babies.
Any child who held our babies washed hands well before doing so. None of our friends are like that and neither are we and all our kids have held each other kids from birth. No one has ever had their babies gotten sick. If one of our kids were sick, we just know not to bring them around.

 

Well, I have been on the paranoid side because my girls were 30-weekers and born right at the beginning of cold/flu/RSV season. They are now 4 months+ (almost 2 months adjusted age) and they were just exposed to their first child. My niece was in town with my sister for the week. Up until last week, I had told my friends that they could visit, but that we were not bringing the babies around other children yet. They were all completely understanding!! I most definitely had my niece washing her hands every time she wanted to hold the girls. I'm loosening up a bit now, as the girls got a cold/bronchiolitis anyway from DH. But, I'm still going to be more cautious until RSV season passes. I think you should do what you think is best for your babies and being that they are still so young I know I would ask that the kids come and "look only." I have found that most people are not offended, especially when your babies are so little. I hope it goes well...the best advice (for me, at least) always seems to be to "listen to your first instinct!"

 

Oh...I missed the part about "no vaccinations!" My answer would be...NO WAY...if it were me in your situation.

 

Well all #$%& broke loose!!!!!!
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I read all of your advice and also asked some of my girlfriends to speak withtheir Ped to get some insight into this matter.
THe consensus was all the same. No way.
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DH called his mom(who SIL lives with) and asked if the kids were vaccinated(sort of playing dumb).
He then told her that per the Dr and the hospital the children would not be allowed to be around the twins.
Well, MIL responded by this is not a sterile world(I know, this, I live with a black lab chow-who sheds like crazy). I keep a clean house but by no means am I a neat freak.
We will not raise our children in a germ free life.
This is just for the first few weeks, months until they have their shots.
Anyway...MIL called SIL at work and not even five minutes after DH hung up, SIL was calling my cell.
She simply stated that she and her children would not be coming to visit(by the way, never invited them, although would have been happy to see them, probably more in a few weeks though).
SIL said that I needed to do my reserach and that her kids posed no threat to the twins.
I quickly reminded her that just as she has decided not to immunize her children because she feels that is the best for her children, this is what we have been advised and this is what we have decided is in our children's best interest.
She was fired up.
I told her that I was really sorry to hear that they would not be able to make it. She was at work, so quickly let me go.
Haven't heard from MIL or SIL since(this was Friday evening)
Not sure what is going on, who is coming etc.
I told DH that it is family so he can call if he wants, but I just can't deal with this right now(the stress of it).
It makes me really sad, but my focus is on these little miracles and getting to meet them in just a few short days. YEA!!!!