changing bed/wake up time?

The sleep schedule is 6pm to 5am. They still get 2 naps for the most part. One around 8 and one around 1-1:30, depending on how long the morning nap is. Lately they have both been between an hour and an hour and and an hour and 45 minutes. During the week, even though it is rough getting up so early, it works well. Dh needs to get up at this time anyway and cannot get up on his own, never could (pisses me off). So I have to get up anyway or he would not be on time for work, ever. And he likes to see them in the morning because he gets home to late to see them.

Weekends are another story. It is rough when we want to go do something with friends or family. They just don't understand that:
1) if we put them to bed later, they still get up at 5am no matter what, we have tried many times & many times when they go to bed late, it is a rough night
2) dd won't sleep in the car, so she is up for however long it takes us to get home after we leave, our families live at least 30 minutes away
3) there are 2 of them not just one, and do they want to come to my house to help me in the middle of the night or early in the morning when they have had a rough night?
4) many times the next day is very rough, especially if it is a morning where we have something scheduled (they have PT 3x a week)
5) dh is not a good sayer goodbyer, never was, I always have to look like miss ***** and be the one to say ok, bye we need to leave now, when everyone will not stop making faces at and talking to the kids, even though they look more tired than one could ever know, they are selfish

Now, I will be starting a part time job (I am a sahm) one night a week until 11:30 and Saturday and Sunday. And I'd sure love to get a little more sleep in the morning, then again, would dh even let me. But, I also like that I have alot of time in the evening to get things done. And all of their appointments and such are worked around this schedule. I also hate that this all makes it very hard to see people, as do 2 naps.

I do not feel that they are ready to go to one nap. On occasion due to a dr appt or them just simply not sleeping for whatever reason, they have had one nap and it is usually not pretty. And when they miss the morning nap, they don't necessarily nap longer in the afternoon and now way is that enough sleep for them. It is quite obvious by their behavior.

I was going to wait to adjust the sleeping schedule until they went to one nap. But now I'm thinking maybe I should do it now. I don't know what to do or even how I would go about that if I did it. What do you guys think?

edited to say- When we do go to see family or friends or whatever that may keep them up past bedtime, it is not until all hours where it would be worth it to try to get them to sleep there in a pnp for a bit. Even though we try for it not to be it usually ends up being like for 2 hours. And they need that 2 hours of sleep and well you read the above about when they don't get it.

 

I wouldn't try to move them to one nap yet. When one nap or the other shortens on a regular basis or they aren't sleepy yet at bedtime because their second nap has moved too late in the day, that's a big hint that they may be ready. With both naps still being well over an hour and the second one is at 1ish, I think shifting them now would be a disaster.

FWIW, most babies aren't ready to shift until 18-24 months. We didn't until 20 although I tried a couple times earlier than that and had disasters each time. And no amount of sleepiness makes mine sleep past 6:40. They'll wake up fussy at their regular time if they go to bed late.

But everyone knows someone who had a baby who slept until 9 or 10 and they think that's typical. We have a 7PM bedtime and two who don't like to sleep in the car. I tried getting them used to sleeping other places in their peapod tents but they can let themselves out now and it's scary trying this in non-childproofed homes. So, I'm also the b**** who makes us all go home early. I'm used to it. DH makes sure everyone knows HE'D like to stay and when he does, I let everyone know he'll also be the only one sleeping in in the morning. They can think whatever they like.

 

So you are wanting to shift bed and wake up times? If so, I would shift them by 10 or 15 min at a time. Like for the next few days, do everything in their day 15minutes later. That means all meals, naps, baths, everything. Do that for several days, even a week. Then shift it 15 more minutes for a while. IME it will eventually work. I did it often when all of mine were under two in order to change their schedule for the time changes. I'd shift them forward or backward depending on what the clock would do. You could probably get them to an 8 to 8 schedule that would help you out a ton working in the evening. GL!

 

Mine didn't go to 1 nap until 18-20 months or so, although at the sitters, they went to 1 nap sooner than that and had no trouble going between the 2 schedules. Until they stop sleeping at both naps, I would keep doing 2. If you're wanting to push bedtime/wakeup time back a little, the PP suggestion of moving it slowly by 15 min. at a time sounds like a good idea.

Mine are the same way as far as wake up time though. If they go to bed later, they still get up at the same time. At a year, they were going to bed around 6:30-7 and getting up around 6:30-7. Mine have always been pretty good about playing in their cribs for 30-45 min. after waking up though, which allows me time to get up and get ready (on the days I work) in the morning.

Last summer we did start going to a friends house and putting them to bed in their PNP's at their normal bedtime, then getting them up when we're ready to leave. I was very skeptical about doing this, but it has worked out extremely well for us! They don't cry or fuss on the way home and go right to bed when we get home. We now can have a social life...yea!!! We tell them "tell everyone night night". They say "night night" and start heading for the room they sleep in. I don't know if we'll be able to do this once they move to toddler beds, but it works for now.

 

This is not really advice, just my experience. First, I have never let friends or family tell me how to parent, especially when I KNOW they are wrong!!! We have had more than a few people roll their eyes when we say the babies need to be in bed by 7pm, but after having been strict and matter afact about it for so long most people who know us just know that is how it is now (only took 1.5 years ).
Second, starting around 15 months my two have gotten ALOT more flexible with thier bedtime and wakeup time. We used to have to have them IN bed at 7pm or all he!! would break loose. But now if we are out and they are being entertained they can last until alteast 8 Pm. They also will sleep in later than they used to (used to be 6/6:30am) since we dropped to 1 nap- they now sleep in until 8am.

So I guess I say, give it a few months I think things may change...for the better

 

If bedtime/ wake time works for you all, then keep it as is and tough noogies to everyone else. Maybe try going to visit family earlier in the day. If you really do want to change it, I would try the 15 min increments like a PP posted.