Caring for these kids is impacting my health

Anyone learned a way to cope with the nonstop chaos, stress, loudness and sleep deprivation of twins??? Does anyone suffer from health problems, chronic illness, etc? Anyone feel that their health is worsening?

I have a chronic illness that I've had for yrs. It's really difficult, but I've coped w/ it better than I thought I would. However, since the girls were born I've had random, unpredictable vertigo attacks (spinning, nausea, vomiting, complete body shutdown for hours/days and then dizziness for wks). Over the past few months, movement dizziness has become a daily problem. Throughout the day, I feel unsteady like there is an earthquake. Quick little partial spins. And each time, I panic that I'll go into a full blown vertigo attack. It's near impossible to care for these 2 kids while constantly feeling dizzy.

For past week and half, I had some help and I was feeling better. Then I took care of my kids the past 2 days, solo. I'm feeling horribly dizzy again.

We've suspected for awhile that the trigger is my kids (loud noises, constant stress, fatigue/poor sleep, etc). Now I've been thru several drs and many tests ($$$$$). My ears and brain appear fine. That leaves my nervous system. Which brings me back to my biggest fear: I'm dizzy because of my kids.

I NEVER want them to think they are the reason that mommy is sick. How do I filter out all the stress and noise? It seems impossible with twin toddlers. Life is chaotic and loud. [I'm working on plans to improve my sleep (i already take sleep meds bcuz of my other illness)].

I want to enjoy spending time w/ my kids. But even when I don't feel totally stressed out by them, I'm still dizzy. It's like just being responsible for them completely overwhelms me to the point of freaking out my nervous system. I feel horrible, guilty, sad, desperate and frustrated.

 

Is it possible that you're having panic attacks?

 

I have suffered from chronic vertigo for years with no apparent reason although sometime stress seems to aggravate it. changing a diaper and looking down would send the room upside down, laying on the floor with my kids and getting up made me feel like the room was spinning, it used to scare me to death but as I understood what it was, it just became a daily thing I had to go through, I also had many tests and was just about to have a series of movement tests where they put you in this contraption and try to figure out exactly what is causing the vertigo, when I found out I was having twins and had to put it off..
oddly enough, when my girls were about 7 months old, I went to the drs since I was having terrible anxiety attacks and she put me on this medicine, an anti-depressant/anti anxiety medicine called Celexa, which also controls vertigo, it was an INCREDIBLE difference!!! the vertigo has all but gone away except on bad days. I hope you find some help from this, I know how that feels. Once you feel better and can catch up on some sleep, it's so much easier to find all the enjoyment and blessings in your twins when there is less to worry about!!
good luck!!
jennib9

**whoops, problem with ticker, the girls are 15 months old now!!!!!!**

 

Is there any way you could hire a full time, possibly even live-in nanny? That way, if an attack happens, you won't have the additional anxiety of "OMG, what if I am physically unable to care for my children and I am the only person here?". I don't know that much about vertigo, my mother had it, but it was caused by an inner ear problem. Once that was taken care of, she was fine. Just based on your post, it sounds like yours is triggered by stress/anxiety, so maybe if that was under control, the vertigo attacks will happen less frequently.

 

I would also look into getting a helper. If you can't afford a nanny, maybe a mothers helper for the time between the end of nap and dinner/bedtime, since that seems to be the worst time for most kids. It will get better as they get older, but for the next few years their activity and volume levels will probably be high Another option would be, again if you could afford it, daycare for a 1/2 day or so, just to give you some quiet/decompress time.

Good luck!

 

I am wondering maybe if something simple like a good set of earplugs or noise reducing headphones would help. You can still hear with either one of those in place, but maybe it would help filter some of the noise.

 

Thx for the replies. I'll try to answer all your ?'s.

Yes, it's similar to panic/anxiety attacks, but different. I occasionally have those type of attacks, but this is distinctly different. It happens all day long, often when I'm feeling calm.

We recently started 2 days per wk of Daycare. We are all still adjusting. It's helping, but I'm unsure if I want them to go more than that. $ is part of the equation. We have a college student who helps and/or babysits occasionally. The main reason for daycare vs nanny is getting me peace and quiet requires the girls to be physically out of the house for a long period of time.

Thankfully, I have several friends/neighbors who come over to help in case of emergency. Also, DH commute is only 15 min.

I'm going to look into Celexa and ask Drs about it. Thx.

I use earplugs. and while it helps some, it doesn't solve the problem. This morning I stayed in bed w/ ear plugs in. DH took care of the kids. Every cry, scream, whine, etc physically tensed up my body. It's like some maternal reaction that I can't control. I'm not worried about them, dh is great with them. It's the physical sound, maybe the pitch? Other children have this impact on me now too (so it's not just my own kids). I can't do playdates anymore. We are starting a coop/pre preschool on Tues. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. 21 toddlers in one room w/ 20 parents and 1 teacher. I fear the volume alone will send me over the edge.

I think I've got to find a way to filter out/meditate/etc the sound.

 

I have a chronic illness as well and suffer from dizziness, fatigue, and pain. The noise does not bother me so much as the physical activity.

When the weather is nice, I try to take them outside (our yard is fenced) and play- the noise/activity level is reduced greatly and I can (usually ) sit on a blanket or in a chair and watch/play them for a bit. The bit of rest does me a world of good.

Also, as hard as it is REST during naptime....and have chores wait for later.


Could you talk to your Dr about sensory issues ( my nervous system has damage to it and that is why I get vertigo)?? Some exercises that are good for kids with the same issues (overstimulation) may help you...I know that compression, weighted vests, rocking etc is used for elementary age kids that have a hard time with noise/overstimulation at school, I don't see why it would not be helpful for adults. Also try massage, meditation, and/or noise filtering ear plugs (you can still hear- it is just dimmer and softer).

Maybe in the coop preschool you could sit in the hall/another room and do activites with small groups or individuals. Explain (not in great detail) your difficulties to the director and I am sure they could accomodate you so you can help and not get physically ill over it.

Hope this helps, feel free to PM if you want. It is hard to deal with daily pain/fatigue/illness!

Keep your chin up! See if your local mental/physical health Dept also does respite care- someone could give you regularly scheduled breaks.

 

That sounds precisely like anxiety attacks, and you would be surprised just how common it is. It's also really tempting to look for health reasons because no one likes to think it's anxiety. Not that it isn't a health thing for certain... but considering all the stress of caring for twins (mine should be right about yours' ages.. I remember you from the expecting days! and it is so anxiety-inducing!!!)... It is complete chaos.

When you feel these vertigo attacks coming on, try distracting yourself with something... even pinching yourself can help (sounds weird, I know). Your description sounds soooo like the way I felt when I had problems with this a few years ago. It is extremely difficult to cope with this! I would suggest first of all, doing what you can to get a break!!! I would also look for some therapy to help you cope (I have tons and tons of stress now, working with three kids, etc., but I really gained a lot of coping skills from some counseling sessions).

The thing about it is that you feel so helpless when it's going on that it ends up just spiraling and getting worse. Once you learn to cope, you will slowly get control over it. Now, I can sense an anxiety attack coming from a mile away, and I can fend it off before it gets to the point of vertigo. I would also avoid taking pills to cope... doctors are very quick to prescribe habit-forming drugs for anxiety.... and they are extremely hard to wean off of.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk about this.

 

QUOTE(Safari @ Sep 15 2007, 04:10 PM) [snapback]409103[/snapback]
Thx for the replies. I'll try to answer all your ?'s.

Yes, it's similar to panic/anxiety attacks, but different. I occasionally have those type of attacks, but this is distinctly different. It happens all day long, often when I'm feeling calm.


I didn't see your answers here... but I would still not rule it out. When I had issues with it before, it would definitely last all day at times... and I definitely had it worse when things were calm. As weird as that sounds, I think being busy served as a distraction. Being calm let the anxiety kind of bubble up.

My husband has a lot of trouble with the sound, and certain repetitive sounds make me really edgy. I wonder if there is something about the overstimulation from it that could be a health issue?

My twin boy is a total screamer (makes your nerves stand right on end!!!), and he actually had our DOG start getting panic attacks!!! Our dog hit this phase when he kept gasping for breath. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then we noticed a pattern: boy screams, dog hyperventilates. We started putting our dog in our bedroom for a few minutes when Ethan would get going screaming, and his attacks stopped.