Car Seat Tantrums

So every time we get into the car, Henry refuses to let me buckle him in and throws a fit. He arches his back and slides down the car seat onto the van floor screaming. I have tried letting him climb in his seat by himself, but he makes a game out of it and refuses to sit down in the seat or climbs all around the van while I chase him. The few times that DH has been home we have said, "That's it, you are staying home (w/ daddy) and Lilly gets to go with Mommy." He gets upset, but does the same thing the next day. Sometimes we HAVE to leave, so bring everyone back inside is not always possible, plus I don't want to punish Lilly. What should I do???

 

My two year old was doing the same thing so she got a stamp every time she go into the car seat nicely. It actually worked! I was very skeptical but gave it a shot after my mom recommended it. If a stamp is not exciting to your child, maybe find something else that will be a treat.

 

Rachel does this as well and I HATE it. Arched back, check. Screaming at the top of her lungs, check. 1400 people in the daycare parking lot staring at us, check. I don't get it and don't know what to do about it, either. I usually just let her sit there and make a big deal about how good Emily is being about it and it gives her a chance to calm down before going to battle again.

My two have never liked their car seats so I think I'm just screwed until they are 9.

alexis

 

I try to get them to calm down so I can get them buckled in but it doesn't usually help because by the time mine are at this point, they'll trip out for awhile. I basically place my open hand (I think) at the base of their torso/tummy and prevent them from arching out anymore than they already are. I'm calm through it but I just hold steady like that until they release the tension and then I try to hurry and buckle before they can try to arch again. If they do, I place my hand again and wait again. It doesn't do much good to fuss at them when they are like this...I equate it to one of us when we are stark-raving mad, nothing pacifies us....and we just sort of have to get it out of our system.....I think it's about the same thing. That's my philosophy on my own girls anyway. I don't know about everyone else.

 

We've gone through phases of this, starting around 16 months. When they were younger, letting them climb in by themselves (or with discreet assistance) or asking for their "help" with the buckles usually worked. Amy then went through a phase where she insisted on climbing into the front seat and messing with my stuff, but when I buckled Sarah in and then went around and hauled Amy out, she would usually let me. Giving them something to "hold" or other distraction sometimes worked too.

It's getting tougher now that they are a bit older -- they're more determined, more contrary, and stronger! This morning I pretty much had to force Sarah into her seat. (Fortunately she does not fight very hard, though she makes a lot of noise.) No sort of verbal persuasion has any effect except to make them madder -- distraction (usually in the form of suddenly asking them to hold something for me) is still usually the best bet.

 

We had this happen a few times with each of them. Basically I would climb in the car and sit them on their car seat and put my knee in between their legs so that they could slide down. If that wasn't enough I would also put my hand on their torso so that they couldn't arch their back and push out. Then I would work on getting just one side of the harness on them and clipped in. By this time I think they knew I meant business and they usually let me do the other side of the harness. I think it's just a phase.

 

We go through this all the time with the stroller. Whenever I let them out for a while, at the library or at the playground, then try to put them back in, we go through the back arching and the screaming and all that fun stuff. They're usually fine once they're strapped in, but in order to get them to that point I usually have to bribe them with snacks.