Can't Sleep: Worried and feeling VERY guilty

Well, it is almost 2 in the morning....I can't sleep. I've done something that MIGHT lead to consequences that DH will be VERY unhappy with......I didn't take my birth control for 2 months.

Basically he has been in a depression (lost his job, no fault of his own...government funded the soldiers in Iraq and not his computer simulations for the department of defense), and I was working like crazy. We were not having...relations at all. I stopped taking them figuring 1. It was impossible for me to get pregnant because it took 15 yrs and 7 IUIs so I can skip it. 2. We aren't having relations and 3. I figured my body could use a break from the stupid medicine.

So I go away to my parents for 10 days. When I come back (just at the perfect ovulation time) He wants to...you know what. I didn't say anything about not taking the pills...and we just did it...A LOT!

I don't know if I am...but I guess it s possible I could be pregnant....He doesn't want any more children (2 from previous marriage and our twins) I am almost 42 years old for heaven's sake! He is 45.

I guess I won't find out for a few weeks. Then tonight I immediately started taking the pill again. I know I should come clean with him, but I want to wait until my period shows...or doesn't. Maybe this is all worry for nothing.

Bridget

 

You didn't delibrately set out to trick him into another child did you? I wouldn't worry about it too much. As you said it is fairly unlikely you will be pregnant and you can cross that bridge if and when it comes.

 

Oh gosh! I understand your guilty feelings, but try not to let it get to you. What happens will happen whether you worry about it or not.

Do u want another baby? I probably wouldn't start he pills back up until after your period. First off that can throw your cycle off starting in the middle like that. AND just in case you did get prego, you wouldn't want to do any harm by taking those pills.

Best of luck to ya, you're in my thoughts!

 

I understand feeling guilty, but I think you're probably best off keeping it to yourself for now. It's unlikely that you're pregnant, so why burden him with the anxiety, too? But you should probably not be starting a new pill pack right now - you are going to mess up your cycle this way. You need to wait until you get your period. Please call your OBGYN today and get some guidance on how to proceed.

 

I agree with the PPs that you should not start taking the pills again until your period starts again. Maybe call your doctor's office to be sure when to start again.

I would not tell DH now. Chances are that you are not pregnant so no need to worry him unnecessarily. If you are PG, given the odds against you, then it is meant to be. I am in a similar situation although DH knows I am not on BC. DH and I DTD right around ovulation time, so I am sweating it a little this month. Like your DH, mine does not want any more children. He says that he is 42 and does not want to go back to the newborn stage. It took us 2 years and 3 IVFs, so I doubt one time of unprotected sex is going to do anything for us, but I still have the doubt/fear. I even bought two HPTs, but probably will not need them. Good luck in the next two weeks. I hope things turn out okay for you.

Sandy

 

Hey Brigette -

Sorry to hear that you're having a bit of a scare.

Yup, call the doc regarding your BCP, you can never be too safe. I'd even start taking a multi-vitamin (with folic acid), if I thought pregnancy was a possibility.

Anyway, I hope only the best for you.

FWIW, I had a scare a month ago. We had used protection, but AF was a week late. It can be scary and exciting to think of more babies.

 

It's not clear from your message how YOU would feel about a pregnancy. Please don't forget that your birth control pills can be used as emergency contraception up to 72 hours post sex . . . you should check with a Dr., but the general scheme is to take 2 pills together, then 2 more 12 hours later (I'm just not sure if ALL BCPs work the same way, but you could probably find something online or calling the Dr., or even Planned Parenthood). It will make you a little nauseous, but it's supposed to be fairly effective at preventing a pregnancy.

Good luck!

-Rachel

 

I'm one of those "whatever happens, happens" kinda gals. Sometimes things happen. But, I'd talk to DH soon, explain the situation and really talk about it. It may be nothing, but it never helps to be prepared just in case. Who knows, maybe he'd be okay with it?

Either way, try not to lose too much sleep over it. It'll work out.

 

QUOTE(bridget nanette @ Jul 6 2007, 01:55 AM) [snapback]319112[/snapback]
I know I should come clean with him, but I want to wait until my period shows...or doesn't. Maybe this is all worry for nothing.

Bridget

Sorry to hear you're feeling bad - hopefully a call to your OB (ASAP) and some more sleep might help. Maybe if you think you should "come clean", you should do so to aleviate some of your guilt? Maybe not in detail, but letting him know you feel anxious too?. It's clear you didn't do it to trick him and it sounds like you have been through a lot together. Maybe just a simple comment like "I'm feeling a little anxious about possible consequences, so I've called the OB and I wanted you to know." Sounds like you are very sensitive to his emotional needs, so hopefully he can be there for you too.

:hug99:

 

Just wanted to send you a :hug99: ! I hope it all works out for you, WHATEVER happens. The waiting game is so fun, isn't it? :unsure:

 

I wouldn't mind being pregnant again...sure I'm 42...but I LOVE kids. I've waited all my life to have the twins. I guess if I am, I am.

I'm going to wait and see if Aunt flo comes. I will call my ob/gyn, but I will stop the pills so I don't get too mess up. Thanks for all of your words of advice, wisdom, hugs etc.

Bridget

 

Personally, I would wait to tell him, if you even have anything to tell him. Try to relax and wait to see what happens for sure before you panic (easier said than done). Once you get your period, call your doctor and ask when you can start a new pack of BCP.

 

QUOTE(heathernd @ Jul 6 2007, 07:13 PM) [snapback]320212[/snapback]
Personally, I would wait to tell him, if you even have anything to tell him. Try to relax and wait to see what happens for sure before you panic (easier said than done). Once you get your period, call your doctor and ask when you can start a new pack of BCP.


Ditto! Chances are your aren't pregnant. I would wait to take the pill until after your period comes. However, if he gets frisky again maybe use some protection. I hope that things work out for you!

 

Wow! :hug99: I would hold off in taking the pill until you know and TRY not to stress about it because then your period will be late! :winking0009: Good luck and keep us updated!

 

QUOTE(RachelJoy @ Jul 6 2007, 07:23 PM) [snapback]319916[/snapback]
. Please don't forget that your birth control pills can be used as emergency contraception up to 72 hours post sex . . . you should check with a Dr., but the general scheme is to take 2 pills together, then 2 more 12 hours later (I'm just not sure if ALL BCPs work the same way, but you could probably find something online or calling the Dr., or even Planned Parenthood). It will make you a little nauseous, but it's supposed to be fairly effective at preventing a pregnancy.


This is only true for a few pills. You cannot do this with every BCP on the market - most of them would be ineffective and get you sick. If anyone's going to go this route, the safest way is to call your OB first. It doesn't sound like Bridget would be doing that anyway, but just in case.

Oh, and Bridget, I do think once you get your period (because I bet you will) you should probably talk to your husband about this issue and decide whether it's worth it to stay on BCP or not, so you don't freak yourself out again!