cant get it through his head

My dr told me on tuesday I need to be sitting on my butt not doing anything until my bleeding stops... which its not it get better then gets worse then better again... UGH!!

i feel guilty enough that i cant do the things i normally do but dh seems to have an attitude with me b/c im asking him to do things for me..... I wanted to take a bath and relaxe tonight for 10 min and he got all mad..."well cant you wait till i get back from getting milk".. Im sure i could have but i already started my water b/c i didnt thing it was going to be a big deal.... after i took my bath i just sat down and hes now leaving to go to cvs and says can you get the kids pjs on.. i said i just sat down and the response i got was its not going to kill you to walk to the dryer... OMG..... no not me but maybe our baby... Dr has no idea why im bleeding and I dont want to risk it... Im already taking care of the boys for 10 hrs during the day alone so I would think at night he would want me to sit and relaxe, i guess im wrong.... He was excited about this baby and heartbroken when we thought we lost him/her and really happy again when we found out he/she was ok...

I know its not easy for him but its not easy for me either.... I dont know what to do or say to him to make him understand this is not something i want to do but i have to do it and the sooner he lets me the faster i will be able to get back to doing what i did before...

hes not normally like this and i know he does not want anything to happen to the baby but i'm just tired of him acting like im taking advantage of the situation..

has anyone experienced this before and how do you handle it?

 

Hi Nikki,
I am also on bed rest and will be for the remainder of my pregnancy. I also agree I feel bad that I can not help out much. My husband has been pretty good but dinner has been an issue. The idea of takeout makes me sick, so I want real food. He cooked before we married ( not much or well, but he can) and everyday it's the same question are you making dinner? He does the food shopping without telling me so even if there were some simple things I could do it's hard because I do not have the ingredients and then he doesn't understand why I'm not making dinner. It's weird b/c this is the only issue we have. He is very anious about this pregnancy, we have had lots of problems from early on, and a few trips to the hospital already. he is so anxious it made me crazy enough to tell him on the last trip to the ER to just drop me off and go home to the kids.
Has your husband been at the doctor's appointments with you to understand why you are off of your feet? If not bring him next time. The next time he says oh, you can walk to the dryer let him know, if's not just the walking, it's the bending, lifting the clothing out, etc.... Tell him you are doing what is best for the twins and you do not like it anymore then he does but it has to be this way. That's the tactic I am taking at home. I'm sure he thinks that it's easy just sitting here bit it is not fun at all!!!
I hope things get better and try not to stress...
Good Luck

 

i feel the same way, i am on moderate bedrest until my lil boys arrive and i feel so bad for asking for anything that i times i get up and do it myself, sometimes my DW makes me feel like im lazy but im not being lazy i just am not suppsoe to be doing the laundry or picking things up off the floor. i do help by picking things up that are arms length away from me so i dont have to bend and i try to make dinner. I dont blame them for not understanding but i totally understand how u feel. and i dont have any other kids to look after these will be my 1st but we do have 3 dogs lol. i hope things get better for u and that everything will be ok. i agree with lisah, try to take him to the dr and tell him im bring u so u understand why i cant do the things u want me too. maybe that will help :hug99:

 

I totally understand!!!! I think men deal with things differently than we do. Because they are not in control and don 't know how to solve the problem they get anxious and rude because that is the only way they know how to deal. It helped when I took my husband to the dr with me (but he had is mom move in with us as a result). <_< She is okay, except for the fact that she does NOTHING and then they argue because I can't do anything and she refuses to do stuff.

Try to stay patient with your husband. I know much easier written than done! The good thing is we have a place where we can vent (here). I am so glad you brought this issue forward. I love your honesty. Hang in there!!!! Sending hugs. :hug99:

Shannon

 

I know it's so hard! My husband really tries to help and we have 2 sons already so I know that most of his time is devoted to their care, but I feel like all I'm doing is nagging over laundry, dishes, the house stuff. Sometimes it's just hard for me to watch him do things with the kids and the house in his own way and not the way that I would do it (i.e. the right way ) I'm really trying to let go of all that and just realize that this is only for a short time and nothing in my household is going to be the way I would have it be for awhile. I know it can be frustrating! I think what is making things better for us is that I get an ultrasound every week and my husband is able to see the babies and see that they are growing and that my cervical length is staying stable and hearing the Dr tell me to keep doing what seems to be working. Hang in there!!

 

Is there any way u could take him along to the doctors appointment with u, so he could hear it from the doctor that u really do have to rest.

 

I think that maybe the other day was an off day for him b/c today he took the boys and left in the morning for 3hrs so i could sleep!! HOW AWESOME!!!!

When he came home he put the kids down for nap and started lunch for me and why that was cooking i got a FULL body massage.. That was much needed... Hes a totally different person today.... I guess i over reacted!!

than ks for listening everyone!

 

I am so sorry your DH is not understanding how important it is to follow your Dr's orders. Stay strong, you are doing great! Don't give in because you feel guilty, you dont want to put you or your baby at risk. Hugs for you! :hug99:

 

QUOTE(j&jtwins @ Nov 17 2007, 06:15 PM) [snapback]500350[/snapback]
Is there any way u could take him along to the doctors appointment with u, so he could hear it from the doctor that u really do have to rest.


Just like we have bad days, the guys have bad days too. We do need to try to be patient, but also keep them informed by bringing them to dr. appointments. I have had some similar days with my DH. I think it is scary having twins. We have 2 other small children at home and that is a lot of work in itself. I think when my Dh has acted less than supportive, it has been on those days when work has left him feeling stressed and then they get home and see all this work that needs to be done. Then they think about what it will be like when 2 more kids are added. That is probably why your DH was acting ugly one day and then so nice the next. I get so focused on me, the pregnancy and the babies that I don't think how he could be feeling. I try to tell him how much I appreciate him and how much I need him and that seems to help a little. Hang in there.