Calling on Fraternal twin moms!

So I figured sooner or later I would have to deal with someone who would make the comment "They're twins??" with that look on their face and I was sure I was prepared with something to say to them only I found myself offended and unable to speak any quick whips. Has anyone else encountered this and what have you said to kind of put those types of people in their place, so to speak?

Also, for those with older fraternal twins ... When yours' were younger (knowing they were frat) did you feel like you needed to get in all the "TWIN" stuff in while they were babies, thinking that maybe they wouldn't get to enjoy it later in life?? Is it even different when they are older?? I hope this makes sense. I know that they already have a special bond and NOBODY can take that away from them ... I just don't want them to over hear comments like that and have it hurt their feelings or have to explain to them why people associate more so with the identical sets vs. fraternal (at least it's starting to seem that way around here - we don't have very many people that have twins here or have ever seen a "set" so we're kind of celebrity status when we go to the store)

Any thoughts? thanks!

 

You have no idea how many people I've run into who don't consider fraternal twins to be "real" twins. What the heck does that even mean?? Yes, it is annoying, but I've just learned to ignore people who are rude. If people are genuinely curious & polite about it, I will take the time to explain twins to them. But the ones who are not nice about it, I don't have time for them.

As for getting in the twin stuff when they are younger, not sure what you mean there. But my two are b/g so maybe that's why. It's hard to do coordinating clothes or anything like that. Their bond at this point is so strong, they truly adore each other, I just hope it stays that way!

 

I get asked silly questions all the time... I'll have them in their infant seats snapped into the stroller.. one seat is pink, the other blue... "Aww you have two boys?"

"No, a boy and a girl."

"Are they identical?"

:gah:

"Nope."

I had one lady ask me if I was sure that they weren't identical -- because they look exactly alike.

Nevermind the fact that Katelyn has brown hair and brown eyes, and Brandon has blonde hair and blue eyes. Yep. exactly alike. *palms forehead*

People always look at me funny when I'm out and about with them and are shocked that they're twins because Brandon *looks* so much bigger than Katelyn does even though he's only a couple of pounds heavier than she is. That and they really do look NOTHING alike. I try so hard to be patient with people but sometimes I wish they'd just use some common sense. LOL!

As far as matchy-matchy clothes, I have some outfits that are pink/blue matching but generally no. They're very different babies in every way, personality, looks, etc... so I don't dress them the same unless we're posing for pictures.. and even then they won't be dressed exactly the same - just generally. Example: blue shirt/pink shirt, jeans, baby sneakers. Stuff like that.

 

That one always makes me laugh. It also makes me wonder how so many people managed to make it through basic biology in high school & not know boys & girls can't be identical. :wacko:

 

Yeah it's amazing how I can walk through somewhere, with both babies in a side by side stroller, with my 7 and almost 3 yr old beside me, and people still question if they are both mine, and then "are they twins?", and the whole boys/girls/identical.....etc. I never realized how stupid the general public can be!

And for the twin things, I agree with b/g it's hard to dress them the same but I too do the "similar" stuff. I'll put them both in blue jean overalls but with a pink shirt and a blue shirt on. That kind of stuff I can do :wub:

Then I try to get my girls to have similar colors on, and the boys to have similar colors. Not an easy feat! Both my boys have yellow colored swimsuits, and both girls have pink ones!

 

My husband and I try to always be polite and not get annoyed at anyone who makes a stupid comment. Our reasoning is that our kids will imitate our attitudes eventually, and we'd prefer that they stay calm rather than get angry.

 

I STILL get the "are they twins" alot. I think mine look alot alike and they are the same size too. I just chalk it up to people trying to initiate conversation. I usually just smile and say "yes" and keep walking.

 

I get this more times then I care to admit. Because both of my twins are still pretty bald, they automatically assume DD is a boy too. Even though she could rocking the most girlest outfit, I still "what beautiful boys!"
I can say that they have a great bond and love to snuggle with each other. DD will give DS kisses before she will give them to me and DH. I did not do coordinating clothes too much with them. We did have onesies in the first year saying "He did it" and "She did it".

 

I get this comment a ton! It's annoying and I just reply with a simple, "Yes, they are twins" and continue what I am doing. I think most people just think of twins being identical.
I totally know what you mean on the "twin thing". I realize that as they get older less and less often will they be known as twins because they will grow at different rates and look less and less alike (at least in my case). It IS sad.
I do have some onsies and bathrobes that match but that's about it. You can buy matching T shirts for any age though. Just stick with gender neutral colors like green, orange, yellow, red etc and you will be fine. Pair it with some jeans and you have instant twins any time you want.

 

What I hate the most about my boys being so different in size - one takes after me and one after DH - is when people imply or outright say that A must have stolen nutrients in the womb from S (there was no ttfs) or that A is eating more of his share now. It makes A sound greedy and mean and S sound wimpy and weak! :angry:

 

Mine are fraternal and boy/girl at that so there are definitely differences. As they are getting older DS is quite a bit bigger than DD. When they were younger there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were twins but now as they get older people ask because they're not sure. It kind of makes me sad sometimes or look at them like they're crazy - DS doesn't look THAT much older than DD! I also have had some people say because they are not identical they're really not twins - they're just sister and brother. NOT SO in my mind. They are twins. They were conceived together, grew together for nearly 9 months, and have never been seperated for more than an hour or two. Twins will always have a bond that singleton siblings just don't get to experience. I know some people think that identical twins are special but frats are just as special. Honestly any child is special and a miracle but multiples are even moreso because of what we and they have to go through to get them here. Sorry to go on - this is a touchy subject for me.

 

Some people are so rude! There are a couple of lbs between my girls and people have actually called Amber the "greedy one" I felt like screaming "duuuh they didn't share a placenta you loser" but my better nature took over and explained how that was not possible and the real reason why my Ruby is so much smaller. I would not always warrant comments with a response but sometimes people are just ignorant and they say knowledge is power? If someone is rude i might be sarcastic but if someone is obviously just making innocent but dumb converstaion i might get into explaining things if i had the time.

I like a Obie9's take on it, whatever way i react my kiddies will pick up on so i could do with letting my better nature come out abit more often lol

 

I am 33 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and WOW I cannot believe people can be so (I hate to say) stupid! I guess I will not be shocked when I hear these comments now. Sounds like you all take the high road and just ignore it. : )

 

:rotflmbo:

I would so love to see you say that to someone! Too funny!

My guys look very different, and I think they're going to be very different in size, so I told DH that there may be a day when people don't think they're twins any more. That makes me kind of sad because even though they are special in their own right, being twins is even "specialer".

For now, we coordinate their clothes (not dressed alike, but both wearing jeans/onesie or rompers according to the occasion and the weather) and I guess we'll do that later if we want to emphasize their "twin-ness". But if they decide to dress differently as they get older and they are way different in size, then they might "just" be seen as brothers, not twins. I have to say I will kind of miss the instant celebrity!

 

[quote name='Nate and Jack's Mom' date='21 July 2009 - 08:58 PM' timestamp='1248206290' post='1399365']
:rotflmbo:

I would so love to see you say that to someone! Too funny!

[/quote]

Valerie please don't dare me!! I have been so very close some days.

 

… just remember, half the population has an IQ below average.

Ours are identical so we don’t get as much of this, although occasionally, even if they are dressed in matching outfits, someone will still ask if they are twins. I usually try to respond with a combination of a pleasant tone and a sense of humor. I’ve been known to tell people that they aren’t twins but that one of them is a clone, or that there was a 2 for 1 special at the maternity ward.

 

People constantly ask my sister in law if her b/g twins are identical. When I had them and someone asked me if they were identical, I responded, "yes, we just put a penis on this one so we could tell them apart!"

 

I haven't encountered anyone that ignorant yet. I'm sure it will happen one day.

 

I dress them in coordinating outfits now, since I know I wont be able to do that when they are older, being boy/ girl. They're cute and I have fun. I don't know what other twin things there are to do. As far as the comments go, I don't really mind them; they mostly make me laugh. DH gets most of the attention since if we are shopping or something he takes the babies, and my DD and I will go off with the cart. I think DH likes the attention, and is always able to think of something funny to say. We have heard it all, including, "They look so much alike, can you tell them apart without their clothes on?" This came from the nurse at their Dr.

 

If i had a dollar for everytime someone asked me if they were twins i'd have a nice chunk of pocket change right now....EVERY time i go out somewhere i always the the "twins" comment....first they are like are they boy and girl "ahhh no, two boys" is my comment back, then are they identical "ahhh no, they are fraternal" they look absolutely NOTHING alike...once they look closely they can tell....it was nice at first, but now just annoying b/c i usually just want to get in and out quickly but with people stopping me all the time i can not do that....and then if they go in to touch them, i politely say "pls do not touch"...

I do not have them involved in any "twin stuff" at the moment, really do not have the time, and what they are doing they wont be missing....
I do dress them alike at times, b/c i do have some of the same outfits...but they have two totally different personalites, looks, attitudes, etc....I just LOVE it....