Calling All Moms!

Ok, I’ve been looking & reading and looking & reading for 8 mths now. I’m one of those lurkers. My b/g twins are 8 wks old. They are precious, perfect health and I know are a true blessing. Here’s the thing though, its 2-fold…I’m looking for advice on how to handle them and how to handle me. First them: their sleeping….keeping them on the same schedule. They were on a great schedule a few weeks ago..4 oz every 3 hours then 4 hrs at night. Then it changed..why? I don’t know, I can’t figure it out. Now they are just munching, 2 oz every 2-3 hrs. Cereal feedings…when to start, how much & does it truly help? And gas…they seem to get it so bad at times & I know it hurts & the gas drops don’t do much for them ~ It makes me hurt too. And too how do you handle double the responsibility of babies while dealing with a 2 yr-old, a bonus 6 yr old, a traveling husband and a JOB (which is my only ‘me’ time now). I feel so overwhelmed at times that I want to cry but I don’t ~ I just go on. I feel so guilty sometimes for thinking how much easier it would have been with one then the cycle starts…I start feeling depressed and praying for forgiveness so that I don’t borrow trouble. I find myself resenting other folks for having the time to sleep late, go out to eat, have SEX with their husbands, spend quality time with their other kids, clean their house, work out and so on. I resent my husband too because he gets to leave it when he travels, leaving me with all of the responsibility and then when he returns home has the nerve to fuss about getting up at night, the few times he has, and talks about how stressed he is..OMG!

Here’s the crazy thing though…I really do have alot help. I have a sitter come to the house every morning so I’m not rushed getting the kids out of the house & me to work. I have a person come in the evening to help get things settled for the night & my husband just hired a night person. You’d think I would be happy but all of this just makes me feel worse. I feel like I have no control and like I’m a horrible mother for not mothering my babies 24/7, and I don't feel like I'm establishing that bond with the babies like I did with my first…Its just so much to take in then compute and communicate. Am I crazy?

Thanks!
Rambling Mom of Meyer, Addie and Macoy

 

Welcome you lurker you! Glad you are posting! Congratulations on your babies!

As far as the babies go, it sounds like you started off good, with the eating schedule, which is really the only type of schedule that you can expect when they are that young. So, can you get back to that? I recommend feeding them every 3 hours during the day at this age so they fill up and want to eat less at night...hopefully!

Cereal feedings..I wouldn't start those until at least 4 months unless your ped directs you to do otherwise. I really don't think it helps them to sleep longer.

You...from your post, it kind of sounds like you are all over the place, like you don't know where to start? So I would sit down and work out a schedule for yourself. So you know when you are going to do laundry, what you are going to cook for dinner, when you are going to go to the grocery store, when a good day for working out is, write it down for awhile until you get into a good routine. Make sure you take advantage of the times that you have your help there.

And finally, your babies are only 8 weeks old! Give yourself a break! It's hard right now!

 

Becky is 100% on everything.

Feeding/schedules - the girls ate every 3 hours (during the day) until about 4 months I think. We let them go at night once the pedi told us it was ok. But when one woke up at night to eat we woke the other up and fed her too. They may just be going through a little growth spurt and want to eat more often - it will pass.

Cereal - We did it at 5 months with the approval of our pedi.

Gas - Emma was really gassy. One thing that our pedi said was that if you didn't give the gas drops at every feeding they weren't as effective. Not sure if that is right but we gave Emma drops in her bottle at every feeding.

We don't have any other kids but I can't tell you how many times my DH and I saw people with one baby and hated them. Not really but we would say they have it so easy and don't even know it. I hated to hear my friend complain about how tired she was etc. Now she is jealous because while she has to entertain her baby 24/7 I don't - the girls entertain each other! Your babies are only 8 weeks old. Give yourself a break - you are dealing with A LOT!

I think that you have so much help that it is making you feel more out of control. Don't get me wrong - KEEP THE HELP! But like Becky said - maybe if you set up some sort of schedule for you and everyone else things will seem more in control.

Don't worry - you will be fine - and I know everyone says it and it doesn't seem like it, but things will get easier!

 

Maybe the schedule change is a growth spurt, or a phase. I like to tell myself "it's just a phase" when they start something new/different that I want to stop. I would just try to get them back into your regular schedule.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, new babies, an older sibling, housework and a job on top of that. I wouldn't feel guilty about having help AT ALL--you have a lot going on and it's all new at that. I had 24/7 help the first 5 weeks between my DH and mom and I don't have other children and am a SAHM, and looking back--it was a lifesaver for me.

You'll probably feel a world of difference once they start sleeping through the night, until then...it's just a phase...

 

You said sometimes you feel like crying--but you don't....you just go on. I recommend a good hearty cry! If we all had the answers on how to balance our lives with other kids, husbands, jobs and homes...we sure wouldn't need a forum like this one! You're normal and doing a great job.

Reyna

 

I agree with everyone so far...
also, a look on the bright side... things get a little easier at 3 months... and then 6 months.. etc.
you are in the roughest time right now- but it'll get better really soon!!! For us, our boys really were gassy and we changed formulas- which helped considerably. We started cereal at 4 months. I had helpers from 6 wks to 3 months and then from 5 months on...
I think if you can have help- take it- any way you can get it!!!!!!
Also, I think anyone married with kids (probably even those without kids) will say they argue over who does more or doesn't do enough or gets away with things, etc. My hubby and I always say we wish we could change places with each other... but, I don't think either of us really would! I know he has it tough with work and he knows I have it tough taking care of 3 kids while he is gone... and 4 kids when he is home
My parents who have been married forty years now- still argue over who worked harder every day! I guess it helps me to know I'm not the only one!
Weird advice from my ped at our 2 month appt. (but it worked) offer the bottle to them as much as possible during the day- even every hour- so they take in all the calories they can and will sleep through the night sooner (he felt that was the most important thing for our sanity!). I thought he was crazy-so we put our own twist on it... we opted for every two hours and did not wake them from sleeping ever... it sucked... but you know what- within 2 weeks Paul (at 2.5 months) slept through the night and within 1 month Jack ( 3 months) slept through- both at least 9-10 hours!
best wishes to you!!!
Lanie

 

I completely understand everything you said! I had some major issues with all that myself. Sarah was VERY gassy!!!!We tried the Myelicon gas drops & they didn't seem to do much. We switched formulas several times & that also did not seem to really matter. They only got formula at night anyway, so I don't think thayt was even the issue. My pediatrician gave me a RX for stronger gas drops which really helped!!! Also, she recommended that we try to give them a bath on this bath sponge when they were gassy. She said to get the water very warm (hoter than usual, but not to where it would burn), lay them on the sponge ($5 Target), fill the tub until the water is on their sides at least, use a wash cloth to soak & then lay on their tummys, keep getting the wash cloth wet with the warm water & lay it back on their belly. Repeat. The first time we tried this, it was amazing!!! Kaylee & Sarah both got so calm & started to pass the gas. Now they don't pass the gas evertime we do this, but they do calm down almost instantly. I was concerned about giving them a bath everyday, but my Ped said I could do this several times a day, but to only use soap once a day & follow up with lotion or baby oil. Her son had colic for an entire year!!! I can't even imagine that!

As for the night time, my girls just started to get more consistant on sleeping longer stretches (5-6 hours) once I started a bedtime routine of bath, eat, & sleep! Doesn't work everynight, but it has helped!

Hang in there!
Let me know if the bath works.

Jess & girls