Calling all "Healthly Sleep Habits, Happy Child" guru's

I've had this book for some time and used it with my first with success. I don't have the twin version (heard it's not that different). Needless to say, I've decided I am gonna try the "cold turkey" technique. This is my own personal choice so please do not judge. I've (we've) created a bad habit of always going in and giving them their paci (multiple times) in order for use to get a good night sleep. Now, we've created our own worst situation. We dropped the full swaddle about 2 weeks ago and have put them down with one arm out (some success...still not as good as a full swaddled, but it's time...they are almost 8 months and can't be swaddled much longer). Now, they are swaddled with both arms out...which could could be part of the problem....but I digress.

So I have 2 things working against me...they are use to getting paci's multiple times, and are still getting use to being unswaddled. Not to mention probably teething also. The Nightwakings have been horrendous for the past week and they are not napping well either (they were napping angels in a full swaddle and me doing the paci dance...but this has got to stop).

In the book on page 249, it says they should try for no more than 1 hour for nap times and no predetermined time for nighttime. However, here is my question. They just had their morning nap (normally 2 hours swaddled with pacis)...this time only 35 maybe 45 minutes and have been crying for the past 1 hour. I'm going in to get them now. Do I put them down for their next nap at the normal 1pm or adjust that time earlier based on the crappy nap they just took?

For those who read the book and believe in these strategies, I would love to hear some words of wisdom. Thank you.

I'm so trying to balance being empathic to their needs/cries, but I know they are not hurt, wet or hungry. I've created a bad habit and I feeel aweful that they have to "suffer" because I enabled them to get too use to to the paci-shuffle.

I feel aweful.

 

I wanted to provide just a possible suggestion. Mine are only 3 months and we are still swaddling/paci's, but will drop those around 8/9 months as you are doing. A friend of mine used HSHHC for hers and decided to ditch the paci and swaddle in one go. SHe let hers cry it out and was back to normal sleep habits within one week. Perhaps if you are going to do the CIO, might be good to do everything at once so as to not go through it more than once. GOod luck with it. Remember our little ones are much tougher than we give them credit for and are very resiliant and will probably adjust just fine so long as we give them the opportunity to do so. I'm dreading having to break the paci/swaddle habbits as well...but they just work so well its hard to let those tools go!!

Good luck and hang in there!

 

If you put them down for their nap and it reaches the 1 hour mark and they didn't really sleep you will probably have to move up the 2nd nap b/c they're going to be tired. I'd just play it by ear. If they are not acting tired before 1 pm then there is no harm in waiting until 1 for their nap, I just think that chances are they'll be tired from missing the first nap.

GL! :hug:

 

Honestly I have no answers for you but I hear ya sister! This crying thing is enough to make a sane person CRAZY :faint: GOOD LUCK and maybe by the time its my turn you'll give me advice!!

 

good luck! its so hard to be up multiple times!

one comment about swaddling... maybe try to do the 2 arms out of the swaddle, but put them inside a sleep sack too... with their arms inside... that way they might feel a little bit of comfort but still be able to move... my friend did this sack called a Pekemoe from Australia or something. basically its a big pillowcase with a neck hole and a zipper on the bottom. why I mention this is that my friend was having a horrible time - like you.... and it was around 7 or 8 months I think.

also another friend had great success (and I sort of did a few weeks ago), with the Ferber method of CIO... going in frequently at a set time - maybe 5 minutes? my friends baby had more of a separation anxiety thing and it worked within 30 min. for her... my dd took about 90 min. to settle in.

But I totally agree with you about you having a lot of things going on. TEETHING is a HUGE one!!! This bites us every time! thankfully we're on our last round of teeth so I can't wait to be over this. If its a teething thing it should ease up in a few days, but at that age there are so many teething issues.
If you haven't found out about Hylands Teething Tablets go get them! You just pop in a little tablet - up to 3 and somehow the homeopathic formula helps them.

GOOD LUCK! sorry my post was all over the board, hopefully something helps!

 

First of all, stop beating yourself up Second of all, FWIW, I think you are doing the right thing. HSHHC says to do whatever it takes to help them sleep until you are ready to sleep train, right ... so, pacis, swaddles ... they are OK. We did the same with our twins and are doing the same with our 3 month old now (she naps in her swing and sleeps at night swaddled and paci'ed). Your issue sounds the same as mine when my twins were the age of yours. We had finally "had it" a little earlier than you, though and had them CIO at around 6 months. I got fed up when my husband was "ready" to let them CIO and I was not and he was using tough love with me and saying he was not getting up anymore to help me if I wouldn't at least let them fuss a little ... ours would not GO to bed. We would do the rock, put down asleep, wake and cry thing for HOURS before they would stay down for any length of time. I had tried, as you have, to swaddle with an arm out and around 2 or 3 AM after I had been up with both multiple times I would always swaddle that arm again ... anyway, our Ped said it was a little dangerous to swaddle them when they could roll so we decided just to do it all at once ... so we did our normal soothe routine (nurse, bath, PJs/lotion and books) and put them down unswaddled and with lots of hugs and kisses (they started out with pacis but always lost them with the screaming) and did not go back for anything until they had fallen asleep. We would check on them after they fell asleep then I would always feed them the first time they woke then not feed them again until the AM. They were so little, I didn't expect them to STTN but we just wanted to be able to put them down and not have to keep going back in. It seemed to do the trick. Naps got a lot better, too. Naps really got better ... bedtime was about 50/50 ... they still cried about 50% of the time at night ... and you know what ... they still do! And they are almost 3 ... so what can ya do?! I still ignore it as it is usually some scuffle over a book or something (they still share a room) but for the most part, once mine go to sleep, they stay asleep ... so I think it did help them to learn to self-soothe ... they are just world class stallers at this point =)

Good luck, it is so hard but it really does work, IMO. I was one who was totally against CIO ... until I had the colic twins!!! What finally made me say, OK let's do it ... was one night, I decided to make a little tick mark on a piece of paper every time I got up with one or the other (this was after my hubby said nope, not doing it anymore ... and in his defense he was an Anesthesiology Resident at the time and really did need the sleep so he wouldn't accidently kill someone at work!) ... and I got up 22 times in one night between the two ... I decided that something had to give. I think people who don't believe in CIO must have much easier babies than I did! H always cried for 45 minutes or so but M ... man that girl had stamina ... it was 3 hours straight for the first three nights in a row ... what a holy nightmare ... but she still loves me to this day and I don't think she remembers it =)

 

I just want to tell you, you are doing great!! Good luck getting through this tough stage, and you will get through it..

Your post made me realize the position I'm getting myself into... My babies were sleeping 11 hours at night, without waking.. 2 or 3 weeks ago started waking, so I've been doing the paci shuffle until I can't get them back to sleep then I'll finally feed them.. (My husband is deployed and I have a 2 year old I don't want to wake up with them screaming).. I'm exhausted, waking up to give paci's at least 15 to 20 times a night, plus pumping once.. I use 2 blankets to swaddle them, just to keep them swaddled.. I think I might have to get them sleep trained without being swaddled, or the paci shuffle soon.. I don't know if I could mentally handle it when they are 8 months old (that's how long we waited with our first son)..

You're doing great, and in a month you'll thank yourself for sticking this nasty phase out!!

 

I dropped the paci when I started losing sleep over it. My suggestion is this. Leave them for an hour. If they don't sleep, get them. Keep them awake until you see tired signs then try again. At 7 months, mine started the 9 am and 1 pm nap times (at home) and were consistent about it. I suggest you chose set nap times (for your sanity) and stick with them. Remember, it takes like a week for you to see results and it is going to be hard the first few days but they will get it. I would go cold turkey on the paci and swaddle but I would put them in a sleep sack to keep them warm. At night, I am a softie. I think that until 9 months, they may need to eat at least 1 time at night (baby dependent). One of mine, requires a dream feed at 10pm, the other does not so I don't feed him and he sleeps until 630 am. His brother would wake at 3am, so I feed him at 10pm. I would try to get them down without the pacis and see if they don't miss them. Otherwise, chose one time you will go in (for the first few nights) and try to make it to that time. Then, slowly eliminate that time.