Butting Heads with DH

Dh and I disagree on something. Our twins had started going 4 hours between feedings and recently reverted back to 3. I will try to stretch them to 4 IF they had a big bottle at the last feeding AND they're not screaming bloody murder. I'll try to soothe with a paci if they're only fussing a little and I know they'll only have a few sips...once they really start crying I feed them.
DH insists on letting them scream and scream until 4 hours has passed. This bothers me ALOT. I feel if they're full on crying it's because they're hungry and need to eat. How can I get it through his thick skull that just because they go 4 hours sometimes it doesn't mean that it will always happen? Our babies are only 8 weeks old for Pete's sake!

 

Dh and I disagree on something. Our twins had started going 4 hours between feedings and recently reverted back to 3. I will try to stretch them to 4 IF they had a big bottle at the last feeding AND they're not screaming bloody murder. I'll try to soothe with a paci if they're only fussing a little and I know they'll only have a few sips...once they really start crying I feed them.
DH insists on letting them scream and scream until 4 hours has passed. This bothers me ALOT. I feel if they're full on crying it's because they're hungry and need to eat. How can I get it through his thick skull that just because they go 4 hours sometimes it doesn't mean that it will always happen? Our babies are only 8 weeks old for Pete's sake!

 

Wow, that is way too early to hold off feedings in my opinion. Mine are just now able to hold off, and they are almost 9 months old! Sometimes babies that young also cluster feed, like you swear that you just fed them, and they are hungry again right away. That is completely normal. I would do as you are doing, listen to their cues and watch the clock only a little bit at that age.

 

Mine didn't start going 4 hours betweeen feedings until 6 months. At 8 weeks old I don't think they should go more than 3! i'd wake mine up if it had been 3 hours to feed them.

 

Mine are 5-1/2 months and don't go 4 hours between feedings! They go 3-3-1/2 from the start of there last feeding. At that age sometimes they went even less, I would listen to them, not him when it comes to feeding them.

 

We are at 6 1/2 months and still are at 3 hour feedings. If your babies are crying and they go for the bottle then they are definatly hungry. I dont think you should hold off once they get to crying. Maybe the next time your dh is complaining because hes really hungry, just take your time and see how he likes it

 

quote:
Our babies are only 8 weeks old for Pete's sake!

Enough said....ONLY 8 WEEKS! My twins are 6 months, and are still on a 3 hour schedule!


LOVE your idea, Cassie!

 

At 8 weeks of age we were still done every 3 hr feeds... like pp said listen to the cues they are giving...Feed on demand not by what the clock says...

 

Sorry to your hubby, but that's not exactly the right thing to do!! In fact, I would go ahead and feed them at 3 hr. intervals if they will take it because they need more food during the day in order to gain longer stretches at night.

TOO early to let them scream it out till 4 hrs. have passed! They are learning about trust right now and your tending to their needs is part of that building process.

 

I also agree with pp that at that age babies should eat when they wish to. It seems though that the problem is a difference of opinion between you and DH. Maybe you could have him ask your pedi or someone else relevant what they think so it's not you against him but rather someone elses educated opinion? Saying this is what the dr. ordered usually gets good results with anyone and will decrease the tension amongst you.

 

Thanks everyone, I knew I was doing the right thing. I don't listen to DH, I always feed the babies if they're hungry (duh!!) but it always turns into an argument, especially if they only have a little bit.
I like the advice to get the pedi to tell him. We're going at the end of the week. Hopefully that will convince him and we can put this issue to bed.

quote:
Maybe the next time your dh is complaining because hes really hungry, just take your time and see how he likes it


Ha! I just said this to him this morning! He said he was hungry, so I said 'OK, go sit in the corner and you can eat in an hour!'

 

Sounds like you are comfortable with the answers you have received, but I just couldn't help but chime in as well. Three hours is a perfectly normal, and healthy, feeding interval for that age. We did not go to 4 hour feedings until MUCH later. Hopefully your pedi will tell him the same thing.

 

Remember that crying is a late sign of hunger, so they've already waited a bit. They are learning to trust you will take care of their needs. It seems pretty harsh to me to make them wait so long, almost borderline neglect. My babies are over 6 months and are exclusively breastfed. Sometimes they eat every hour in the evenings. I don't think they've ever gone 3 hours in between feedings during the day.

 

Getting your pedi to say something sounds like a good idea. You might also do a quick search on the internet -- the AAP just came out with a statement against strictly scheduled feedings (and certain baby training books), saying that it is linked too often with failure to thrive.

 

I could have written your post! My 7 mo olds still eat every 3 hours!

My DH and I fought like crazy and it got worse once they got to 3 months. The best things I said to him were: "If my children are hungry, i am going to feed them!" and "How can we expect them to start sleeping through the night if we take away 1 feeding by stretching them to 4 hours." That last one really got his attention!

I kept feeding them every 3 and then one day he was here and made a big deal about taking them to 4. He got to exprience how "snaky" they went and then I asked him "How would you like me to stretch them to 4 hours when I am the only one here to deal with it?" THat shut him up!

See if you can get your ped to equate full tummys and sleep. and keep doing what you feel is right for your kids!

 

Well DH and I had it out this afternoon about this and he's agreed to back off and quit acting like the bottle gestapo. I asked him where he got the idea that they needed to go longer between feedings and it was advice from 'well meaning relatives'. Isn't it always? He got comments like "Oh, they're STILL eating every 3 hours?" so he figured we were doing something wrong Oh how I wish everyone would mind their own business!

It's funny, I have little trouble getting them to eat and sleep around the same time as each other and every time we leave them with the grandparents (both sets) we come home to cranky fussy babies who won't eat or sleep. And he listens to them over me