But I really want it....!

My one son has a bad case of the "I wants" right now and I don't know how to deal with it. He saw a commercial (darn those commercials!) for a Toy Story trash truck that he is just obsessed with and "really wants". Now he just recently had a birthday and got a lot of nice toys. I tried to point this out to him. Told him that we would have to put it on his wish list for Christmas but the child is relentless. He keeps talking about the toy...trying to make "deals" with me (yes..he's only 4)!! He is trying to break me..and he's close to it! I just think there should be a limit to "prizes" in between birthdays or holidays. How do you all handle the "I wants"? Thanks!

 

We are really in the the "I need it..." phase right now and it is driving me crazy too. They will get a toy from Grandma and immediately "need" something else. We have also tried the "you better put that on your list for Santa", but it is not working that great. For the most part we tried to ignore the constant requests and mini tantrums, but all these toy commercials just make it worse. Sorry no answer, but maybe someone will have something that worked for them.

 

Talk to him about how cool it is, talk to him about how he will play with it and just tell him to put it on his christmas list. Patience is the only way to solve this issue.

Oh and DVR shows so that you can fast forward through commercials

 

I have them put it on their Christmas list. We bought a little notebook for them and when they do that, they write it in there. Everyone in our family also asks for suggestions at Christmas, so stuff from the list that Santa isn't getting will get put on those lists.

 

I just keep repeating "guess you'll have to ask Santa for that."

 

There's always the good job jar. Every time they do something positive whether it be help out mommy or a sibling, go the extra mile when doing a chore, doing somethign nice for others, saying somethign nice they don't normally say, whatever you think is worth adding to the jar. You can have it so (ie, if you use marbles) if 10 marbles are in the jar, he can have an extra book read to him at bedtime. 20 marbles means a choice of ice cream flavor. 30 marbles, means choosing the game for game night. 40 marbles means a small toy worth $10 at the store. 50 marbles means a larger toy of a larger amount. The point is, if he wants something that bad and it's not a gift-giving holiday including a birthday, then maybe offer the option to work for it by doing extra stuff. That can help teach them about saving up in order to get something they want. It also reinforces the concept of nothing in life is free. Well...love is free and unconditional, but the gifts are extra and are not given at every request.

We all want to see our babies happy. We want to give them everything, but this way gives them a life lesson that is friendly and long-lasting (and very helpful).

 

I agree with the Christmas list idea. (I say the same thing to DH!) My kids haven't really gotten to the "I want" stage yet, but I'm sure it's coming. We don't have TV (other than Netflix) and I think that helps since they don't see commercials.

 

Really lucky with no I want yet here as well (well, except for food). I agree with putting it on the Christmas list.

 

Thanks everyone for all the great ideas! He is still fixated on this one particular toy! He mentions it frequently...asking how much it cost...do we have that much money...how long is it until Christmas...and on and on! It does kinda break my heart that it is tormenting him so...but I also don't want him to think he can just fuss and we'll give in! It is a tricky situation and hard to know the right answers. Thanks again!

 

The books I have read said to just say it once "no, we are not buying that" and leave it at that. YOu don't have to give a ton of explanation, but the more you get into talking to them about it the more they think they have a chance of getting it. After your first statement, you just ignore it, no matter what they say. I find that works well with my two kids, they seem to know now when I say no right away that there is no chance, but if I waffle and say maybe then they keep at me to get it because they know I am not certain of my decision, so they keep trying to change my mind or convince me.

Good luck!

 

We have been adding stuff to the "ask Santa list" lately... One of my girls especially seems to want everything she sees. The other day she wanted some sunglasses she saw at the store. I told her we had sunglasses at home and didn't need those. Her response was "but I don't know where my sunglasses are, so I need to get these!" Or she'll say "But I don't have a (insert color/theme/design) one!"

They usually do OK not to beg and sometimes we do get special treats for being good, but if I bought everything they said they wanted I would be flat broke!

I really like the idea of marbles in a jar!

 

In addition to the good ideas you've already been given, from time to time I divert my kids with telling them what *I* want. When they start in on telling me what they really really really want, I say "Oh yeah, I can understand that. But you know what? I really want a unicorn." And it usually shuts them up. They're so confused that Mom wants something that is completely out of the realm of possiblity that they forget all about what they were whining for. We end up talking about how to get unicorns, whether unicorns might be real, etc, etc, etc.

No joke - try it some time. It doesn't work fifty times a day, but for those over-the-top whiny moments, telling them you want a unicorn might help!