broke and expecting number three

So I just needed to vent a little bit. So yesterday my husband tells me we can't afford to get a van, we currently are in a lease for another year on a 2010 colorado truck. IF we were to get out of the lease it would kill us with penalty fees, ( according to my husband) and we can't just buy a second hand vehicle and pay off the lease for the truck at the same time... SO basiclly we dont have a vehicle to fit the family. So why am I freeking out about this? I dont know I dont have my licence I walk everywhere but for some reason Im stressing over the fact that we can't go places as a family unless we take trips but that involves taking car seats in and out... so Im just frustrated because we are broke. I work part time and my husband works part time but makes alright money, basiclly just enough to get by. IM just so frustrated because Im having a hard time working, my back is getting more and more sore everyday, and My husband complains every time I go to work that Im gone for to long or something like that, so then I feel like whats the point of working? And he says well its not worth it you only make 12 bucks an hour.. so do I stop working???? IM so confused I feel like we need the money but honestly I think all my money goes to pay for him playing hockey ( its his escape he needs to play or he goes crazy) me.. I honestly dont do anything but go to work according to him thats my free time.... so anyway Im just frustrated Im 26 weeks pregnant and I just want to have the baby already so I can get on with life figure out how its all going to work, and get my body back because I honestly feel like it hasn't recovered from the twin pregnancy 18 months ago, so this single pregnancy is kicking my butt.

 

Bless your heart!!! :hug:

 

I'm sorry. Hockey? Money issues are stressing you out and he needs to spend money on playing hockey? Sounds like someone's budget needs to be trimmed. :hug: Perhaps he can take up running!

:hug: Sorry... just suggestions. I get very stressed out about money & my dh's spending habits. Those were just my first thoughts.

 

:hug: I agree! Cant he play hockey for free somewhere? Try to relax...it will work out! I know easier said than done!

 

Your job is your "free time"? No wonder you are stressed out. Sounds like he hasn't quite accepted that this is his life now. He's, for real and for always, the dad. It doesn't matter how much hockey he plays, that won't change, and he's really, really always going to have to be taking care of his kids, even if he does convince you (and it sounds like a questionable idea financially) to quit working. What will you get for free time if you quit? Will there be any, or will he just have more time to play hockey because now you're always available for the kids?

 

I'm sorry. Financial issues are soooo stressful. And more so when you have two at home and one on the way. Is there anyway your DH can work full time? I can imagine it's hard to run a 4...almost 5 person household on part time incomes. Then you'll have more money coming in and could maybe swing a car that fits everyone. And I agree about the hockey...that's an expensive way to get a "break" if you're struggling financially. ((hugs)) and hang in there.

 

Sorry,

If you are just scraping by, his hockey needs to go. Seriously. DH had to drop all extra activities when our $ got tight (he lost his job), it was hard since it was *his* activity. But honestly, it has been 8 months and he has been fine....we also dropped cable and other luxuries. If $ is THAT tight, you need to redo your budget.

if you can see a counsler or finanicial advisor. They often have sliding fees so it could be done inexpensively. It may help for your DH to have an 'outside' voice telling him what to prioritize. (food, clothing, housing, medical).

Your job is not 'down time' any more than his would be. and $12 is a good amount! I work part time for $10 and it adds up and is a welcome paycheck. It pays for our groceries and prescriptions. Really- look at how much you are making and see if it can be taken out of the budget.

Soon enough you will have a third child and you will probably have to take some time off and have even more expenses.

Your DH needs a reality check, no offense.

As for the travel, that does sound like a sticky situation. But - you could talk to the dealer, they *may* cut you a break , right now they really really want to move cars off the lot and many are willing to make concessions to do so. Which could include waive penalty fees. It does not hurt to ask.

 

This reminds me: my sister was able to "trade down" her car, and get a lesser model with a smaller payment. It really helped her budget. Some dealers are offering this, and if used cars don't bother you, you might look into that. (I never buy new cars.)

 

Are you sure there is no way to fit 3 across in your backseat? The folks at car-seat.org can be really helpful with tips and models of carseats that may be capable of doing so.

As for DH and his hobby, set a budget however low or high and make him stick to it. I don't know if it's healthy for a guy to cut that stuff out altogether. I know my DH could not so we always discuss it and find ways to make it work on a shoestring.

Going to work is not a break and your income is totally worth it. You just need a budget and to negotiate a schedule that allows both of you time away for your own thing (even if it's sleeping and relaxing for you).

 

Is there a reason your DH couldn't find full time work or another part time job to fill in the gaps? If he expects you to stop working the replacement money will have to come from somewhere.

As far as the hockey, you could always tell him that safe transportation for your family is more important and if he wants to play he needs to find a way to pay for it. Tough love might be needed at this point.

 

Ditto.

 

:hug: Money issues are so stressful and I think these days everyone is having to cut back on something. I agree with the pp's...a little budget make-over is in order, along with some good old fashioned brainstorming and compromising. Good luck and try to enjoy your pregnancy, I know that's easier said than done, but it will be better for you and the baby if you can get this all figured out sooner rather than later.